Fresnans are getting all giddy about the new Fulton Street… or is it still a mall? …it’s definitely a dirt road of some sort. A dirt road? Well I guess that’s REALLY getting back to what Fulton Street used to be.
Since Fulton is getting the attention it deserves, it’s time to focus on a little known area of Fresno. It’s super indie and hipster, doubt you’ve heard of it. The kids call it: River Park.
Although really they should call it “The Park”. That sounds like just the right amount of douchey.
So yeah, all this mall-street buzz has me feeling all nostalgic for the good old days. The good old days of … THE Park.
I remember my mom bringing me there as a younger person. We used to roam through the old toy store. Remember? Like, the smart kid toy store or whatever, that’s now a Yardhouse?
Or World Sports Cafe? All the drunk times spent in there… drunk off all the Fresno State games I watched, of course. Ahhh, the times.
Oh and that one place on the corner before it became a Vegas style Subway. What the hell was the name of that place? I think it involved elephants or some shit. Yeah. Good memories.
Oh and remember the fountain in front of Edward’s? Ohhhh that fountain:
Now? It’s just pretty weeds. No water feature at all. So sad. Guess they didn’t want to fix it. No city budget and stuff.
It seems The Park needs a shot of something. Some change. Hell I’m just gonna say it: Open River Park to traffic!
Really though, look at that empty, abandoned store front right in the heart of THE Park:
If only I could drive my car right up to the front, I would SHOP THE FUCK out of that store! No matter what bullshit crap they were selling. But sadly there are those stupid table and chairs getting in my car’s way.
So, Mayor Swear Bear, on your way out, maybe hook The Park up with some of that tasty grant and measure money. If I can’t drive right up to the Five Guys then there is no point in going in and getting their wanna-be In&Out burgers.
And for you old readers of The Fresnan. Yes, I am totally ripping off an old post. But it’s cool because you can call it “re-purposing” and it makes it like, totally, totally fine.
Like many of you, I was at Fresyes Fest at Tigoa Sequoia on Saturday. But I came really close to not being there. You saw that line waiting to get in, right? Yeah I saw it too. Forget that noise.
But wait. I gotta blog about something. I guess I will go stand in line and all that crap.
Plus I really like good beer. And it was THE event in Fresno this past weekend.
No it wasn’t the last two nights at Audie’s (although it was pretty epic, I hear). And it wasn’t even Easter. It was Fresyes Fest. Sorry, Jesus, it’s true.
So the main thing I noticed while in there? It wasn’t the food trucks taking up Fulton Street. Or the fine beer TS pours. Or the pro stage. It wasn’t even Swear Bear emptying cups:
It was all the weird, unfamiliar people. Where did all these random Valley folks come from and who are they!?
Seriously though: Who the fuck were they?! And I use fuck in the sweetest way. Like, when a friend tells you their Great Uncle died last week. “Fuck. I’m sorry man.” That’s how I’m using it. Fuck can still be sweet and pack a punch. It’s versatile like that.
If you looked real close Saturday, you would have seen a few OG bloggers huddled in a shaded corner wondering where the time went. And yes, also still wondering who the fuck these people are.
Old Man Fresno rant!: “Back in my day, the only festival we had was the Fig Gig and that’s the way we liked it! No fancy hipster food trucks. No cute picnic tables inside a nice big Beer Garden. Our “beer garden” was a 50×50 foot taped-off piece of blacktop behind the Applebee’s, and that’s the way we liked it and we were happy to get it!”
That’s right, children. Fig Gig. It… it was something to go to. Technically. And we didn’t have to worry about lines or choices of beer. Sanger Light Bud Light and Bud Ice anyone?
Now you have FresYes Fest. And Grizzly Fest and Whatever Is Happening This Weekend Fest. I think Fresno is doing pretty damn good in the festival department now. Even if I don’t know WHO THE FUCK anybody is at these things.
You don’t know how good you have it, you Fresno Millennials. You have a downtown to be pumped about and a thriving festival scene. There used to be just Bud Light and caution tape.
Okay. So yeah, I know I’ve been away for a while, not blogging about Fresno and stuff. And yes, this Fulton Mall becoming Fulton Street is the big cool thing in Fresno right now. And I am sorry to write such a negative post, right off the bat.
But I am not feeling Fulton Street:
I know the project was short two million but I think they could have done better than that.
Sure it’s nice fresh asphalt. Fresh new asphalt is super pleasing. I can smell this new Fulton Street and be transported back to the 1950s. I can almost see Bob Falfa’s 55 Chevy looking for somebody to race.
And, okay, the art and the fountains all seem to still be in place, so that’s cool. But gosh, I was expecting a little more.
While I’m here, would it really cost that much to at least clean up the construction mess? I was totally stoked to go cruising down Fulton Street like my grandpa and stuff but there’s all the things in the way:
HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DRIVE THROUGH THIS, SWEAR BEAR?! PICK UP THE SHIZZ! Maybe get Mayor Swear’s church group out there to clean it up or something?