FresYES Fest 2022: Show Up Early, Like Always

Saturday starting at 1:00 and ending sometime really really later

If you are on ‘Fresno Internet’, I’m sure you have seen that FresYes Fest is Saturday.

If you haven’t been before, my number one tip is to go early. It starts at 1:00 so go at 1:00! (Unless you are not broken like me and enjoy large crowds then go whenever)

This is an all ages event and free to get it, fyi.

I plan to stick around for Bill Clifton & The Chicken & Whiskey Band’s set there in the 3-4 mid-afternoon sweet spot, then I will have one foot out the door – time to hit the road.

Reason being, that is the time (4:30ish) when the lines really start forming. The mess starts happening. The youth begin to takeover. People from weird places like Clovis start showing up.

And that’s totally cool and stuff – I just don’t want to be there for it. My curmudgeon self won’t endure.

The only thing that might get me to stay is Joshua Tehee hosting a stage:

I can’t say I have heard of any of those bands which is totally cool because I am ready to be impressed or whatever – it has been too damn long since I’ve seen some local talent live.

I also might stay for beer – if there are no lines. Also can stay for taco variants:

But again, you gotta be there early, even for tacos.

“Where the fuck do I park!?” Like, dude, wherever. Look at the map:

Alrighty, well, it doesn’t exactly hold your hand and show you where to park but just act like you’re going to a Grizzlies game or jury duty and you’ll be fine.

But also, maybe get your Uncle to give you a ride down there and just wing it for a ride home – make an adventure out of it. One year I walked over to The Raddison and got an Uber home from there.

Anyway, it will be fun, even for grumpy dudes like me. See ya out there EARLY. ✌️🍻

COVID Is Not The First Thing That Scares Me About Thanksgiving Eve At Livingstone’s

Classic Livingstone’s

For the sake of this post, I will put aside the debate about if it is safe enough to go to a packed bar in the final (we hope) throws of a pandemic.

That said…

Tonight is Thanksgiving Eve. Traditionally a big night in the Tower District, where Fresno Natives (now living out-of-town) come back and mix with current Fresnans.

Those current ones have to listen to old friends pump up their post-Fresno lives, like they’re trying to sell us on bitcoin.

Livingstone’s traditionally has been the epicenter for these meetups. At this point, I am afraid to go.

Not because I am worried I’ll run into some weird person from my past. It’s because I likely would not run into anybody.

Like, not one person I know.

Been away from the Tower scene too long. And any old friends I might see hardly go out anymore either.

I might be too old for Livingstone’s. (ouch that stings)

Enjoy yourselves, younger Tower people. Enjoy Livingstone’s and Strummers and Goldstein’s and Vini’s and Fresbrew and Spokeasy’s and whatever.

Enjoy it while it lasts, kids.

Northeast Fresno Doesn’t Deserve The New Benaddiction

“Who Made Who” is my go-to dish at Benaddiction

Hey, I’m happy for the owners of Benaddiction, getting a new place. A nice big fresh spot. I am sure it will do well. They totally 100% deserve it! They are good folks and worked hard for this.

BUT! (you know there is a ‘but’ coming)

But, it’s kinda fucked up for those of us that live by the NW location. That have been supporting the Bullard & Marks spot all these freaking years.

Braving the long waits and postage stamp sized suite wedged next to a pool supply shop and a Supercuts training center, in hopes of one day raising the stature of the place to a full-sized NW Fresno location.

Finally it happed. Only North EAST Fresno, (the Taint District no less) got the new bigness. It feels like NW Fresno put in the work and NE got the reward.

This is how OG hardcore Green Day and Jawbreaker fans must have felt when the bands signed their first label deal.

No, I won’t be turning my back to them as they play onstage. So, I will still go to the Bullard & Marks location. And love the food.

But I might carry a chip on my shoulder when I do. Maybe mutter under-my-breath “sellouts” as I am getting seated, just to make myself feel better, I guess.

The “Who Made Who” will still taste good, just not as satisfying.

The Best Salsa For A Quesadilla from Quesadilla Gorilla Is…

I need four YES FOUR salsas when I get some Quesadilla Gorilla!

There can be only one salsa that is the BEST salsa at Quesadilla Gorilla and that is the one on the right: Cilantro Cream.

  • Roasted Sour Cream? No.
  • Avocado Salsa? Fine but no.
  • Roasted Red Salsa? You would think but NO!
  • Spicy Salsa Verde? Pretty good but still NO!
  • Habanero Salsa? Totally NO!
  • Liquid Gold? Awesome name but actually terrible.

You can go at me in the comments all you want if you disagree, but you will be wrong.

Why Can’t Fresno Be The Test Market For THIS, Taco Bell?

Fresno is king of Drive-Thrus. We are also the test market for many things fast food – we approved Doritos Locos Tacos (you’re welcome? world).

So why the HELL aren’t we getting this new Taco Bell drive-thru concept first!?

The innovative restaurant reimagines the traditional drive-thru experience with four lanes, three of which are dedicated to mobile or delivery order pickups, providing fast, skip-the-line service for customers who order via the Taco Bell app and third-party delivery services. These three lanes will supplement one traditional lane, easing the flow of traffic and ensuring a speedy experience.

-Somebody at Taco Bell

I guess some town in Minnesota is getting this first.

Really, all our drive-thrus should be this concept or we should trash them and not have any.