I’ll Get You For This, Whole Foods Fresno

They thought they could fool me with the blue cheese and caesar dressing

You mother. fuckers. You did it to me again, Whole Foods Fig Garden. I built my salad only to discover NO FUCKING RANCH?!?!

Are you getting back at me for this post? Is Jeff Bezos so cheap he is instructing you not to put out ranch?!

When you start filling the salad bar in the morning, the first thing you should put out is the ranch. If you don’t have it, put up a sign that says “We are out of ranch. Salad bar closed indefinitely.”

I am putting your salad bar on suspension for the next year. Also, you suck.