Livingstone’s Will Be Livingstone’s Again, but…

Behind the bar of Fresbrew

Y’all are back in Fresno tonight and, yes, Livingstone’s is back and fully operational. So you know it will be reunion time and you’ll be there trying to convince us L.A. is so fucking great (and we will know you’re full of it).

And there will be this guy too:

But if you haven’t been back to Fresno since last Thanksgiving, ya might not know Livingstone’s ’s & Strummer’s isn’t the only re-union options.

There is, of course, across the BofA parking, Goldstein’s. It will be jamming. North, down Van Ness, Full Circle Brewing took over the old Audie’s Olympic spot and Spokeasy (beer bar) is rad as always.

But the new Fresno hotness is Fresbrew. It’s a bit of a Fresno & Beer Nerd dream. Located on the South side of Olive, across from the Tower Theatre.

Located at 910 e. Olive, if you need that for your Lyft driver. Good Fresno paraphernalia on the walls, check it out.

Also, after Thanksgiving, make sure to head down to Zack’s Brewing, across Fulton, from Tioga Sequoia’s Beer Garden. Nice space and great beer.

Anyway, welcome back and enjoy the weekend!

Joe Rogan Called Fresno Sketchy. Why Didn’t It Go As Crazy As the ‘Firestone Flap’?

You saw last week or more when Joe Rogan gushed about Chef Paul’s and called Fresno Sketchy, right? A bro in L.A. wanted to make sure we knew:

Fresnans did, in fact, ‘cancel Joe’ if getting upset is canceling. But Rogan did not respond to anything on Twitter or wherever else, because he is JOE FUCKING ROGAN! Why would he? And he’s a comedian MMA guy turned huge podcaster, who cares?

So there was nobody fighting, impossible for it to go viral. But who really totally knows why things go freaking viral!? It’s a bunch of little things, IMO.

Speaking of a bunch of little things turning into something…

Why did Fresno get so mad at Firestone Walker Brewing?

The Firestone Walker fight (the ‘Firestone Flap’ as I like to call it and nobody else cares enough to call it that and be nerdy like me, and that’s ok [sadness]) blew up so big, bigger than Joe Rogan’s brief backhanded compliment to a Fresno restaurant, because….

BACKSTORY TIME!:

Fresno is drowning in Firestone beer. It’s everywhere. EVERYWHERE!

Hell, it’s bigger than White Claw and has been for years.

Any damn place in Fresno that might even THINK of having craft beer, has Firestone. Fresno and the 559 are almost forced to spend a lot of money on 805, Luponic Distortion 1 thru infinity, and whatever mixed-pack is taking up an end or a full island, at Save Mart.

I do not have the stats but I would guess that half the tanks in Paso are paid for with 559 money. We might even drink more Firestone Walker beer than people living in the 805.

Now, add to this, we have always suspected the Central Coast does not like us Central Valley folks. Every once in awhile there will be a racist or pretentious comment lobbed our way from the coast. Sometimes we ignore it sometimes we don’t.

So that’s just a LITTLE bit of our Paso Robles history.

Cut to a lazy Sunday morning in Fresno. Fresno Twitter is relaxing, fat and happy from a John Legend visit, and a subsequent positive Fresno Tweet, enjoying breakfast burritos & coffee, scrolling Twitter and the webs and such.

Then it happened. 

Someone responds to John Legend’s Tweet with a negative Fresno bash. Who cares, right!?!

Except, the person bashing Fresno works at Firestone Walker. The person lives in Paso (How is that better than being from Fresno?). And, most importantly, this person is the Communications Manager for Firestone Walker Brewing.

Don’t they know? Don’t they know Fresno loves Firestone? Don’t they know how much beer we buy from them? Don’t they talk about us? Don’t they respect us at all? Don’t they think we’re super cool!? Don’t they know their restaurant/taproom is our first stop on our way to a fun and relaxing coastal weekend!?

All this love and money Fresno gives and it turns out Paso Robles thinks we’re a shithole and is not even classy enough to NOT say it publicly.?!?

Continue reading “Joe Rogan Called Fresno Sketchy. Why Didn’t It Go As Crazy As the ‘Firestone Flap’?”

Fix Your Broke Ass Door, Jeff Bezos

It’s been, like, two weeks, Whole Foods Fresno. Two freaking weeks I had to walk around to your main entrance instead of walking through this now dysfunctional door.

That extra walking? Not planned!

Like, 20 seconds each way. Since I have had to do it twice, that adds up to 80,000 seconds. Stop making me walk. I already couldn’t park in MY SPOT in the parking lot and now I have to do extra walking. Torture.

Maybe you can search on Amazon for “sliding door parts, retail” or something…. oh wait, would you like to change that door to a Barn Door style? They love that shit on the home-flipping shows:

Question: Does Whole Foods have to pay for Amazon Prime to get free shipping or is that a company discount thing?

How about just searching for a local door guy. Let’s look together:

We have a few possibilities but we may need to find a specialist. These seem like glass dudes. Well, I guess we’re both screwed.

I dunno, man, since Amazon bought Whole Foods, been pretty bad. Rinky dink. Next thing you know you’re going to run out of ranch dressing.

The Smalls: Issue 1

Sometimes I have little dumb thoughts that are not worthy of a whole post or even Fresno related. So here is a new segment for the blog: “The Smalls”.

Don’t Go, Summer!

I am going to miss the hell out of Pool Season. The weekends won’t be the same. I do appreciate not having to worry about 90s or triple digits until next year sometime, though. I really think Fresno should have a name for when we are officially done with the heat for the year.

I have been racking my Fresno brain trying to come up with a name for it. A name that represents us getting through the heat. Embracing what makes Fresno unique (including the heat) is always something I’m into. If you think of a name for it, let me know.

TikTok and Space Pants

Can someone stop these TikTok dancing bro guys from appearing on social media ads all over my damn feed!? I get it, they look like guys that have been tailgating an Alabama football game for ten years and yet they can do a dance sequence for 15 seconds. Please tell me TikTok is more interesting than this. On second thought, don’t, I don’t need to know. Dance on, bros.

That rant aside, now my beer and notebook nerdness is contributing to the TikTok . Look what you have done, Dancing Bros!:

Don’t Dash Me, Bro!

I don’t like using Door Dash or any other food delivery service. It freaks me the hell out that some random dude is handling my poke bowl or cheese enchiladas. I’ll just pick it up myself, thanks. Although I do like the marketing of Postmates and I’ve seen some key places (Casa Corona, etc) around Fresno using them. Still creeps me out, I’ll continue to not.

Keep Infilling, Bro!

The new Chevron at Herndon & Brawley is nice. Super wide, so much room for so many activities. Since going back to fig orchards is apparently not an option, I’m happy to see this area finally get some infill, especially with useful things.

AMPM and a Dutch Bros will be up soon. Close by, the Mad Duck NW is still in line-out-the-door mode. I’d love to see a park right next to the new Chevron. That space is not supposed to have buildings anyway since it’s a dump-spot for planes flying into Sierra Sky Park.

I have always wanted to see a restaurant right next to Sierra Sky Park. There is a spot right on Herndon (next to the runway) that used to house small planes. Now it’s just empty space, and a restaurant with parking for planes would be rad there!

Sorta related:

When a Paragraph Is a Subtweet

I rarely find myself in NE Fresno, but recently I was on Millbrook, going North and had to turn left onto Nees. There is no turn signal and the intersection is especially large and weird and kinda dangerous as hell. I think NW Fresno needs to get themselves a Councilman that pays attention to these kinds of things instead of what “Liberals” are doing. Or I’ll just try harder to keep out of NE.

Was This Cool Enough?

This post is kinda where I think the direction my future newsletter will be taking. If you think you’d be into that being in your inbox, you can sign up below:

I had the Jack In The Box Tiny Tacos and they’re perfect

I’m here in Fresno and lucky? enough for me, it is the capital for fast food restaurants to test their experimental items and see if it would work for the rest of the country.

Ya know those Dorito shell Taco Bell tacos? We gave that to you, America.

Right now the big thing being tested in town are the mini versions of Jack in the Box’s classic tacos, called, Tiny Tacos.

I guess it’s sorta embarrassing but I have always loved Jack’s tacos (without lettuce, of course). They always hit the spot for me and I like them over Taco Bell’s hard shell tacos. Call me weird.

To be clear, I don’t like them over actual, real tacos, just over Taco Bell’s.

Jack in the Box’s Tiny Tacos are exactly what you think and exactly want I wanted from them. A strip down version of their taco in bite-sized form. I didn’t even need to ask for no lettuce.

Continue reading “I had the Jack In The Box Tiny Tacos and they’re perfect”

Top Five Hardest Fresno Street Names To Spell

Spelling is hard. Hard for me, anyway. This blog would be a disaster without spellcheck.

Not only are regular words tough, sometimes, so are Fresno street names. Here are five common Fresno streets that I always mess up spelling.

5. Ashlan. I always want to say “Ashland”.

4. Maroa. The o & a combo throws me.

3. Divisadero. It seems like the “a” should be an “i”.

2. Stanislaus. A lot of s to deal with.

1.Tuolumne. Where the hell did you even come from, “n”?!

I’m not the only Fresnan in town that sucks at spelling. Just a few of the replies on Twitter:

Continue reading “Top Five Hardest Fresno Street Names To Spell”