Retail – Page 4 – The Fresnan

green-crush-2 Why Did You Not Tell Me About This, Fresno?

Did you know that the Orange Julius in Fashion Fair is gone? Yep. The Baskin Robins too. They were replaced by whatever the thing is pictured above.

You see, I don’t go inside the mall much. Only when an iPhone stops working right, or when I’ve run out of shopping options on Christmas Eve. Mayyyybe a visit to the Disney Stone BUT THAT’S IT.

So walking by and seeing that the Orange Julius and Baskin Robbins stores are no longer there? It was a bit jarring. Nobody tells me things.

Okay, well, the Robbins just moved out to a kiosk in front of the old location. But still.

new-bk Why Did You Not Tell Me About This, Fresno?

I had family that owned the mall’s Baskin & Robbins in the late 70s. I pretended to work there. My arms weren’t really strong enough to scoop ice-cream (they may not be still) but I remember wiping some display case windows for the occasional milkshake.

Because I am a nerd, the coolest part wasn’t the ice-cream. It was having access to the private hallway that runs behind some of the stores in that section of the mall. It was like being backstage at Disneyland. A really really REALLY lame Disneyland… but still.

The Orange Julius didn’t move though. Those icy citrus drinks are apparently permanently done in Fashion Fair. Google corroborates this story:

#Lame.

Something not lame I found out though: Baskin Robbin’s ‘flavor of the month’ Milk n’ Cereal, is damn tasty.

I’ll miss you, old BK location and Orange Julius. Another piece of Fashion Fair regulated to the history books… remember when there was a Carl’s Jr inside the mall? No? I guess I’m the only old dude here.

Trader-Joes-1024x768 Fresno's Trader Joe's Can Sprawl Its Ass To Oakhurst For All I Care — Soon To Be Empty Trader Joe’s Sign

I guess I’ve bought my last bag of dill popcorn, jar of cookie butter and mystery six-pack of beer at Fresno’s Trader Joe’s.

Just when ya think we’ve stopped the “Move North, Young Fresnan!” movement, Trader Joe’s has decided to take its talents to Friant Road.

This blows kale slaw.

Yes they do have a crappyass parking lot, but that’s no reason to abandon central Fresno. And yes, these days I consider Barstow and Blackstone, Central Fresno.

Now that Joe’s only locations will be Northeast Fresno and North Clovis (in the Taint District), I have no use for it. Fuck ’em. I protest, dammit.

I WILL NO LONGER SPEND MONEY IN TRADER JOE’S

You may find it silly. And Trader Joe’s will care nothing about it. But I have placed them on my BANNED list! That’s right, bro. Banned. Won’t spend money at the new place.

I may not be alone in this tom foolery.

There is a petition going around the local internets to stop this move by TRADER Joe’s. I signed it. Yeah, I know, it probably won’t do anything. But I signed it. You can too. Ey, what the hell!?

And here I was just about to get around to listening to the What’s Good At Trader Joe’s podcast. Now? There is no need.

CENTRAL FRESNO CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS

There’s only so many discount grocery stores, Dollar Stores and Walmarts, South of Shaw can handle.

Downtown and Central Fresno deserves something more.

I think Fresno would and could support both a Central Fresno and NE Fresno location. But, sadly, Trader’s is following the money and cutting ties. There is no heart in business these days, I suppose.

Makes ya wonder, is Whole Foods in Fig Garden Village next? Can’t be. I won’t allow it.

And since Trader Joe’s is spineless, does its copy-cat store, Sprouts, have the balls to open a store South of Shaw? Downtown? I guess we’ll see, but I’m thinking no.

I’LL MISS YOU THE MOST, MYSTERY BEER

Trader-Joes-Mystery-Pack-Beer-e1408028099780 Fresno's Trader Joe's Can Sprawl Its Ass To Oakhurst For All I Care — Photo from victorcaballero.com

Truth is, I choose to regularly burn my money at Whole Foods and Save Mart and only occasionally go into Trader Joe’s. A little bit more since the Blackstone Avenue Vons closed, but not a lot.

So this nerdy banning of Trader Joe’s won’t be that difficult for me, I admit.

I will miss those cheap mystery six packs of beer though.