I don’t really want any chain/corporate places on the Fulton Mall Fulton Street. But it’s coming. You damn well know it. Hell, to some, it’s kinda the point of the whole thing.
And what with Fulton Street asphalting as quick as it can…
There are those that would say, having a Starbucks and a Chipotle open on Fulton Street will signal it is back. To others, the thought makes the stomach turn.
But really, will the first be a Starbucks? Chipotle? Habit? Pieology? Maybe an Apple Store (that actually would be kinda rad):
Maybe, David Pismos Westwood Yosemite Ranch Tahoe JoeFansler, could prove he is the Fresno Restaurant Master and open a place on Fulton.
Could Fulton (no CVS doesn’t count) stay all local and no chains? I’m interested in finding out.
Le Reina Paletas Photo stolen from VidaEnElvalle.com
You’re not a Fresnan until you’ve suffered through enjoyed a Summer in Fresno and the time has begun to ready yourself for the Fresno Sun.
We’ve gotten through our first heatwave and I’m officially adjusted to. It just takes one solid three day run of upper 90s plus and I’m locked in until the end of September.
“But how can I obtain this ability to get through a Fresno Summer as an asshat such as yourself, Fresnan?” Well, here are my suggestions on how to deal with it and help make it better.
Crank your air. Sure, this is a no duh, but good air conditioning is pretty big. If you’re lucky enough to have a good solar system, then crank the crap out of that AC unit, bro, you have won Fresno.
Just don’t go outside from 2 to 6. Who wants to be outside from 2 to 6:00 anyway? It’s not like there is anything going on. That is unless you have access to a pool. If you have access to a pool, 2 to 6 can be rather awesome.
Paletas. These help a great deal. I am especially found of the ones from La Reina De Michoacana (even though I can’t ever pronounce the name of the shop). Bring cash and be ready to take home a dozen, at least.
Beer and water. Fresno has plenty of good beer options now (could always use more though) and we still have… SOME water. Drink both of these things (yep at the same time, hydrate) and the heat goes away. Drink enough beer and everything goes away (except your gut).
Patios at night. The Fresno Summer creates a perfect atmosphere for hanging outside at night. Add the previous mentioned swimming pool and beer to that mix, and you’ve got one very magical Fresno evening.
Get geeky about temperatures changes. This is a personal nerdy one. Follow, from day-to-day, what time temps change and see if you can tell the difference in a two degree temperature drop or rise the next day. You know when people say “Oh it doesn’t matter once it’s past 100 degrees.” Actually it does. And I’m nerdy and trained enough to tell. I’m trying to develop a skill, don’t laugh, it can be done and soon you WILL have the skill too.
Get with some trees. Drive up into the mountains for part of the day. Sure, you can do the same with the beach or The Bay. But it’s a lot easier to just run up the hill and maybe jump into Bass Lake, Shaver or Lewis Creek or push on into Yosemite. Have you had a beer and a lunch at South Gate yet? Do it.
The SJ River. Oh yeah, we have a river too. Pretty nice one that is officially in Fresno and stuff. There’s just not enough good spots to access and enjoy it. But wait, cue the San Joaquin River Parkway folks because they have all the spots a Fresnan can use to get in that river thingy that we forget is there.
There you go. It’s a start. Grab a beer and take in that 103 degree day. If it drops to 101 tomorrow you’ll be trained to enjoy it.
No. Snapchat is not just teens trading nude pics. Not anymore. Now asshat marketers and old people (you know, people above 30) are on Snapchat.
Mainstream, Snapchat is. The only thing left is your mom having an account. Until then, Snapchat is hot as hell and isn’t going away for a while.
Sadly Snapchat has become another time-suck for me and I hate it for that. But there are a few cool Fresno things. My favorite is finding Geofilters while roaming the city. Such as the three Fresno ones you can use throughout Fresnerd:
It’s the perfect melding of Fresno drive-thru life and a Fresno Geofilter.
There is also a Fresno ag-themed one and a downtown skyline one. Not terrible, but probably made by somebody not in Fresno.
Location specific Geofilters are a thing too. These will only pop-up as a filter option if you are near the location:
Fresno High Geofilter
I haven’t seen any other High Schools or many businesses in town with their own filter, but give it time. We here in Fresno tend to drag our feet while adapting things.
FRESNANS SLOW TO RISE WITH THEIR SNAPCHAT GAME
I really have yet to find a Fresno Snapchatter that is terribly interesting to follow (including me, user: trenchrun22). But there are a couple local businesses that have it figured out. The number one is Dutch Brothers (dutchbrosfresno). They are killing it.
Others worth mentioning are Fresno State (Fresno_State), Fresno Grizzlies (FresnoGrizzlies) the Bulldog Marching Band (fsbmb) and Tioga Sequoia (tiogasequoia). I’m waiting for somebody cool like Bitwise to be snapping, but the local landscape is a bit snap-sparse at the moment.
GET IN ON THE SNAPCHAT LAND-GRAB
If you have a business or even just a big party, maybe even a real kickass spot on Blackstone to hang out at, you might want to look into getting an on-demand Geofilter. It’s really not that expensive and maybe not as hard as you think (TWSS) to get one. Check this out if you are interested:
FIND THE COOL KIDS AND THE FRESNO DORKS
The big knock on Snapchat is no discovery – you can’t search for anything within the app. And you can’t find anybody unless you know their handle or have their snapcode.
So, of course, there are Snapchat discovery apps popping up. Most notably is Ghost Codes. It makes it a bit easier to find people you want to follow.
DON’T BE AFRAID
As much as it’s unique from the big three (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram), there are just as many crappy, unassuming posts (sorry, “snaps”) as any other social media.
There are still all the social media classics: “Here I am going to the gym!” “Here I am at the gym.” “Look at my dog.” “How cute is MY kid!?” “Look at this food I am eating!” “Look at how good I look in my mirror!”
Point is, it’s not as intimidating as you might think. It may just take you a couple of days to figure out what works and how to make a story. Here is a quick tutorial for ya if you need it. And how to make a good Snapchat story:
So get on Snapchat today and enjoy it until your mom & dad get on there and ruin it just like your Facebook.
This is going to offend you. One of your favorite salad fixings is going to get dumped on. I’m sorry, but I must keep it real. Blogger code and all.
So hold on to your croutons, here are my 5 Most Worthless Whole Foods Fresno Salad Bar Choices:
5.WHATEVER THIS WAS:
You gotta figure it was something good since it is empty. But I bet it sucked.
4.TIE: BROCCOLI & PEAS. No. Just, no. I’m a grown adult and I no longer have to eat my broccoli or peas (like I ever did), let alone willfully pay to put it on my salad.
3.THIS JUNK:
Alright so this stuff may not technically be part of the salad toppings. Controversial pick for sure. But I’ve seen people put this crap on their salads so it totally counts.
2.RED ONIONS CABBAGE:
It’s just used for color and you don’t need a build-a-salad to look pretty. It’s a salad that YOU made, it just needs to be functional. The salad is riding in a barely functional cardboard box. It’ll look like crap once it finishes your journey home anyway. Continue reading “5 Worthless Salad Toppings At Fresno’s Whole Foods”
High Speed Rail Construction at Herndon & 99Thinking differently about California High Speed Rail might be in order if you are in Fresno and don’t want it.
It’s pretty damn confirmed that at all the major intersections the High Speed Rail crosses in Fresno, they will be building an underpass or overpass for cars (geez I’ve been really car posting lately). Those overpasses include the Union Pacific tracks it twinsies with through Fresno.
That’s right. No more trying to beat the train at Herndon. Or being super dorky and complaining about a stopped Union Pacific train at Shaw Ave:
So if you’re in Fresno and think the California High Speed Rail is dumb, shut your damn face about it until the suckers build those sweet overpasses and underpasses. Yeah I may sound weird but underpasses are nice. I hear that’s what the Herndon one will be.
I’m thankful every time I go under the Sante Fe tracks at Marks & Shaw. Yes, children, there used to be a train crossing at Shaw and Marks and Marks didn’t even go through. You had to do this weird little road back out to Shaw then around and then… *SMH* it…it was a whole thing, okay?!
If you’re still not convinced every Fresnan needs to get behind High Speed Rail (at least until they are done with Fresno section) let’s think about this: They are already moving Highway 99 over 100′ to make room the those quick-ass trains. If you haven’t driven through that section of 99 lately, this is what’s happening:
Yep that’s some serious shit. Guys, we really don’t want California to figure out that this whole High Speed Rail thing is a BOONDOGGLE and say to themselves “Fuck this is crazy. Are we really going to spend this much money and move all this crap just to put the train tracks in? Meh. Forget this noise. HEY GUYS! PACK IT UP, WE’RE HEADING HOME!”
If they did that we would have a bunch of half-built things and torn down buildings. Fresno doesn’t need more of these.
Too much earth has been moved. It’s time to get fully behind High Speed Rail in in the Valley, even if it’s just Madera to Fresno and doesn’t make us a commuter city for the Silicon Valley.
Let them build it. I want that sweet underpass action.
Okay. So yeah, I know I’ve been away for a while, not blogging about Fresno and stuff. And yes, this Fulton Mall becoming Fulton Street is the big cool thing in Fresno right now. And I am sorry to write such a negative post, right off the bat.
But I am not feeling Fulton Street:
The “new look” of Fulton Street
I know the project was short two million but I think they could have done better than that.
Sure it’s nice fresh asphalt. Fresh new asphalt is super pleasing. I can smell this new Fulton Street and be transported back to the 1950s. I can almost see Bob Falfa’s 55 Chevy looking for somebody to race.
And, okay, the art and the fountains all seem to still be in place, so that’s cool. But gosh, I was expecting a little more.
While I’m here, would it really cost that much to at least clean up the construction mess? I was totally stoked to go cruising down Fulton Street like my grandpa and stuff but there’s all the things in the way:
HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DRIVE THROUGH THIS, SWEAR BEAR?! PICK UP THE SHIZZ! Maybe get Mayor Swear’s church group out there to clean it up or something?
