There is an issue bubbling underneath the surface of Fresno that is not talked about. Something that needs to be discussed. Something that, if not dealt with properly, could tear apart the very fabric of this great city.
Are craisins better than raisins?
“Why bring it up now?” you might ask. “There is so much our city has to deal with, why drag this out into the streets at a time like this?”
I’m sorry, but with the pending opening of the new and improved Popolo’s Pizza (with the best salad bar in Fresno), this raisins or craisins debate needs to get settled today! We tried to sort it out in a recent episode of The Perfect Pour, but we got nowhere and only produced more tension.
You might think “Well of course it’s raisins! Fresno County is the Raisin Capitol Of The World, for damn sake!” Agreed! Eat local, I say. Why give money to faceless pricks back East? Pricks, who by the way, are probably using way too much water to produce one stupid craisin!
THERE’S A DROUGHT, PEOPLE! READ A CALTRANS ELECTRONIC BILLBOARD SOMETIME!
Debate over, right? Rejoice as Popolo’s new salad bar, the trendsetter for all Fresno salad bars, will finally feature raisins over craisins!
It’s not that easy.
There are a lot of people that prefer craisins. Especially on their salad. Shocking but true. Take a look next time you’re at a salad bar. There’s a good chance the topping option will be craisins. I blame the millennials.
In these rough times, we must remember what got us here. What is the one fruit that is the soul of our city? For Fresno, the choice is clear: Raisins.
Yeah, Fresno’s called The Big Raisin for a reason! I’ll admit it, I’ve eaten some of those craizins, liked them even, but y’know what? They’re just a really sour berry with a LOT of added sugar (high fructose corn syrup? the on-line sources I checked don’t seem to know). Raisins have a lot of sugar too, but it actually grew in there. Seems like an important distinction to me, although I’ve been wrong about other things… But you’re absolutely right: ain’t no soul in a craisin! Those raisins were grown, picked, and processed by people we know, people who are a part of our community. So get those ridiculous over-processed East Coast things out of our salad bars!
Yes! The raisin movement has begun!
“READ A CALTRANS ELECTRONIC BILLBOARD SOMETIME!” is the best part of this post.
Ha! Mine too.
When you type the word Raisins you do not get that squiggly red line underneath that indicates something is horribly wrong, not so with craisins.
We don’t need no stinking craisins.