The Fresnan – Page 30 – A Fresno Culture and Travel Blog

Bee Killing Season Is Here

February 27, 2017February 28, 2017 The Fresnan

Why? Why do bee keepers place their bee hives so damn close to the road, optimizing the chance for the hard working bees to die on my windshield?

Take a drive outside of the city right now, like on a Blossom Trail, and expect the bee death rate to skyrocket.

It seems like the issue is that most of the boxes are placed along side of the road and not in the middle of the orchard; a more logical placement, you’d think. Maybe the answer is never leaving the Fresno city limits in the Spring.

My small amount of Internet research on the reason why a large percentage of hives are placed along side of the road has produced… no reason. I assume it’s laziness combined with hardness of getting to the middle of an almond orchard to place boxes.

There is this though from Scientific American:

In all, more than 31 billion honeybees converge on California’s Central Valley each February to polllinate the almond trees. By the end of the bloom, having gathered plenty of nectar and pollen to feed their colonies, the honeybee population in the orchards may exceed 80 billion.

Wow. 80 billion, eh? So with that many bees doing their thing across the state, maybe keepers are not worried about losing a little bit to windshields. But there are a lot of windshields. I probably killed 100, easy, driving down Avenue 12 the other day (sometimes it’s a good alternative to using Herndon to get out to 99…more on that in another post).

With all those windshields and the bee population being a worrisome thing, you would think more care would bee [first pun] put into bee box placement. But whatevs. I am just a dumb blogger trying to figure out things. Let me know if I can bee [pun 2] of anymore help.

*BEEcause [pun 3] charts are fun, here is a chart from Scientific American showing how bees start things off here in the Central Valley and move on to the rest of the country:

Places In Fresno That Need Better Beer!

February 19, 2017February 21, 2017 The Fresnan 10 Comments

One of the problems with being a beer geek (me) is, you get spoiled with good beer. So spoiled that it becomes almost impossible to drink mainstream beer.

Plus it gets very tiring looking down your nose at people drinking pisswater. [insert laughing emoji here]

A beer geek tends to push eating-out choices to places that serve good beer. But you can’t do that every time. Compromises must be made. Food wins out over good beer. On occasion.

So here are some Fresno spots I often wish had better beer.

Edo-Ya. It’s hard not to make this all about Japanese and Mexican restaurants because they are kind of the worst when it comes to beer choices. Unless you are at Kuni Sama. That is actually a legit beer geek place AND it’s in the Taint District!

Casa Corona – Bullard & West. I kinda love the bar there (even though it skews old). It has not changed since I was a kid (not that I drank there when I was a kid, just saying). And it didn’t even change when it switched from El Torro. But DAMMIT their beer selection sucks a King Burrito.

Sequoia’s – Tower District. KIDDING! Totally kidding. It’s fine, it’s fine, the beer is fine. It’s fine. Totally fine.

Maroo. Same problem Edo-Ya has. But they do have Hite beer, which is fun to say and order. “Hite! I’ll have a HITE!”

Hite-pale Places In Fresno That Need Better Beer!

Heroes Comics and Mossette’s Baseball Cards. All my nerd things in one place. I know they don’t have a liquor license, just wishful thinking. To be able to hang out in these places with a bar and a good beer? Dream fulfillment.

Doghouse Grill. Any chance I have to rip that place, I take it. I have not been there in some time, but I’m guessing their crappyass selection has not changed.

Home Depot. Okay, again I am including a place that doesn’t serve alcohol but I really hate going to this place. Having a beer while I’m trying to find the proper dishwasher hose clamp, would really lessen the hate. Plus, when I have to come back for the inevitable 2nd or 3rd time (because I did not get the right size of clamp the first time), I’ll enjoy that 2nd beer even more.

Please leave your choice in the comments because I would love to hear them.

Speaking of beer, there has been a lot of local beer talk lately by the Fresno Bee. You may want to check out their dedicated beer section. We even had them on The Perfect Pour, a couple weeks back, to talk about it.

Let your ears have a listen. Cheers!:

11 Things I’m Thinking While Waiting For My Chipotle Burrito To Be Made

February 12, 2017February 14, 2017 The Fresnan 4 Comments

chipotle-line 11 Things I'm Thinking While Waiting For My Chipotle Burrito To Be Made

Living in Fresno, it always feels so wrong to go to a chain place to get anything Mexican food related. We make viral burritos and we are the Taco Capital of North America, after all.

That said. Chipotle is quick, tasty and consistent. So even us Fresnans get tempted to go in. My dumbass included.

Here are some things that pop into my head while watching my burrito get built – usually at the Fig Garden location:

Oh, this guy again [burrito maker]. He’s cool, makes a good burrito. I wonder if he secretly hates me.
Are they ever going to change this industrial airport hanger look? I still like it okay, just wondering.
It only takes 5 seconds for the burrito maker to forget what meat I want in the burrito. Steak. I said steak.
The cooks seem to have the better gig, meesa thinks. No dealing with us asshole customers asking “Can I have that on the side of… the side and extra of the other thing? Also, no chicken on my chicken burrito, please!”
Is the burrito maker starter person the Top Dog in the restaurant? Like, the job to ascend to? Who is the manager here, because I can’t tell.
I think the guy behind me is trying to intimidate me to order faster by getting in my personal space. Chill out, bro, you’ll get your double white rice when your time comes.
Ha! Corn salsa. Why do people have the corn salsa? WHY!? Such a waist. You totally could of had the good salsa: Pico de gallo. Fun to say, “Picooo de Gallllloooo”.
I still don’t know if I have to pay for the guacamole on the side or is it included since I got a burrito but did not have it actually put into said burrito. Whatever, I’ll pay extra. I pay for extra paper bags all the time, like a boss!
Does anyone actually get a beer here? I’m a heavy beer drinker and I never have. I need to change that. #goals
How do they distribute the tip jar money? Do the cooks get any? Does it go to some sorta fund for an employee pizza party?
The new chorizo meat does not look right.

I would feel a lot better about myself if I exclusively burrito-ed local. But I think the occasional Chipotle visit is here to stay. At least they have a very solid Social Media Manager on Twitter to make me feel a little better:

*photo source.

At Least One Reason To Start Heading To NE Fresno, Right Now!

February 7, 2017February 7, 2017 The Fresnan

Let’s face it. There is not much substance to NE Fresno.

It’s just houses. Churches. Schools that should be in Fresno Unified but are somehow in Clovis Unified. And strip malls – sortaish nice strip malls, but still strip malls.

But there is one cool thing the NE has that all Fresnans can enjoy: Trails.

Trails that are fed by Woodward Park, in fact. River trails. Park trails. Trails along avenues. NE is totally bogarting Fresno’s trails!

I strolled down one, last weekend, and I advise you to get down there right now because it’s pretty and Portland-y and green. It’s all green.

Yo, did you know there is a legit river running along the city limits? Yeah? Well, there is. And things are flowing:

Go check it out. Or just stay in your house and talk about how Fresno sucks.

Alright. I admit it. The NE has one more thing, outside of trails: Fresno’s most elegant bottle shop: The Fort:

Ohhh shit, an Oscar Blues “Pinner IPA” sixer for $4.99. Gotta go find a beer trail.

Breaking: Fresno Man Almost Remembers To Bring Bags With Him Into Save Mart

January 31, 2017February 7, 2017 The Fresnan

I have yet to remember to bring shopping bags in with me when I go grocery shopping. Not once.
Oh I have them in my truck. And I go to a grocery store at least once a week. So I have had MANY chances to remember since the plastic bag ban – a ban I am in favor of, for what it’s worth.

Usual stores I shop at (for no particular reason):

Save Mart on Herndon & Milburn.
Save Mart on Bullard & West.
Save Mart on Ashlan & West.
Whole Foods.
The Market.

Anyway, the other day I actually remembered while I was turning to park. “Bring in your bags” my brain said. So here it is. I have finally remembered. It took three months but I have done it.

Nope.

The 20 or so seconds between remembering and shutting off my vehicle was enough time for me to forget AGAIN.

One day. One day I will remember. Until then I get to act like a rich badass and buy all the paper bags!

Save Mart Checker: “How many bags should I charge you for sir?”
Me: “Four! No, wait, FIVE! That’s right, I’m just too damn important to bring in my own bags.”

Related: How I feel when I forget my bags in Whole Foods:

Top Fresno Street Names

January 17, 2017January 17, 2017 The Fresnan 13 Comments

Yep. This is a real post. The best Fresno street names according to me. Oh, and you will not find “Palmdon” on this list because there is no way that can be a legal name.

So. Take a cool name and add a little city importance, you get this:

Van Ness Extension. Like hell if we’re going to think up a new name. Let’s just slap “extension” on it, even though it’s over a mile away.
West. Because it actually goes North & South.
Ivy League School Series. Yale. Harvard and the other ones and stuff.
Bullard. When you drive through Fresno State’s fields you can go all fast and there is the slight danger of a tractor crossing your path.
Palm. Premier bike lanes in the city – suck it, Brandau.
Shaw. It sounds like something Wayne or Garth says, in place of “AS if!” “ShaWW right.”

via GIPHY

Fulton. Part of the lazy “just use San Fransico street names” series.
Blackstone. It has all the things; even HOOKERS! Wait. Blackstone still has hookers, right?
Fresno. Duh.
Friant. It’s also a dam. It’s dangerous. It totally flooded by Woodward Park the other day.
Weldon. Fun to say. Wel Don. Weldon. Weldadadon.
Fruit. Because fruit is what makes the cash around these parts and I have a totally “legally purchased” Fruit sign on my work bench.

Not making the list is Ashlan, Tuolumne and McKinley, because they are hard to spell.