Category: Culture

The River Park Traffic Circle: Fresno’s Lifelong Challenge

The Fresnan 4 Comments

River-Park-Traffic-Circle The River Park Traffic Circle: Fresno's Lifelong Challenge

River Park is 19 years old. Yep, hard to believe. Google said it so it must be true. Love it or hate, it’s a part of us now. All of it.

So River Park is pretty old and we are STILL learning how to maneuver through the damn traffic circle! Really though, when you drive up to it it’s like “Here we go. I wonder what’s going to happen this time.”

PRO TIP #1

Do NOT stop once you are in the traffic circle. Are you in the traffic circle? Good. That’s YOUR traffic circle now. Anybody that tries to come inside it is a trespasser and should yield to your power. They are your bitch.

PRO TIP #2

See pro tip #1. Or in other words: yield to the person already in the traffic circle. Remember, they are your King for the next few seconds and what they say goes.

That’s it. That’s all you need to remember. But if you still need help…

CLASS! Pay attention:

But hey. Don’t feel so dumb, Fresno. We are not the only ones that get confused with traffic circles. At least I’ve yet to see somebody going the wrong way like some dumbass Canadian hoser, ey?:

I’m going to stop there with the traffic circles videos. It can take you down a weird rabbit hold. Like this traffic circle video that’s oddly sensual:

Really I’d like to see everyone just have fun with the River Park Circle. It’s like a ride. Have fun. Just remember to yield when appropriate.

Poor River Park Is So Jealous Of Fulton Street Right Now

The Fresnan 2 Comments

river-grass-1024x768 Poor River Park Is So Jealous Of Fulton Street Right Now
River Park Street construction?
Fresnans are getting all giddy about the new Fulton Street… or is it still a mall? …it’s definitely a dirt road of some sort. A dirt road? Well I guess that’s REALLY getting back to what Fulton Street used to be.

Since Fulton is getting the attention it deserves, it’s time to focus on a little known area of Fresno. It’s super indie and hipster, doubt you’ve heard of it. The kids call it: River Park.

Although really they should call it “The Park”. That sounds like just the right amount of douchey.

So yeah, all this mall-street buzz has me feeling all nostalgic for the good old days. The good old days of … THE Park.

I remember my mom bringing me there as a younger person. We used to roam through the old toy store. Remember? Like, the smart kid toy store or whatever, that’s now a Yardhouse?

Or World Sports Cafe? All the drunk times spent in there… drunk off all the Fresno State games I watched, of course. Ahhh, the times.

Oh and that one place on the corner before it became a Vegas style Subway. What the hell was the name of that place? I think it involved elephants or some shit. Yeah. Good memories.

Oh and remember the fountain in front of Edward’s? Ohhhh that fountain:

fountain Poor River Park Is So Jealous Of Fulton Street Right Now

Now? It’s just pretty weeds. No water feature at all. So sad. Guess they didn’t want to fix it. No city budget and stuff.

It seems The Park needs a shot of something. Some change. Hell I’m just gonna say it: Open River Park to traffic!

Really though, look at that empty, abandoned store front right in the heart of THE Park:

store-front Poor River Park Is So Jealous Of Fulton Street Right Now

If only I could drive my car right up to the front, I would SHOP THE FUCK out of that store! No matter what bullshit crap they were selling. But sadly there are those stupid table and chairs getting in my car’s way.

So, Mayor Swear Bear, on your way out, maybe hook The Park up with some of that tasty grant and measure money. If I can’t drive right up to the Five Guys then there is no point in going in and getting their wanna-be In&Out burgers.

And for you old readers of The Fresnan. Yes, I am totally ripping off an old post. But it’s cool because you can call it “re-purposing” and it makes it like, totally, totally fine.

5 Worthless Salad Toppings At Fresno’s Whole Foods

The Fresnan 1 Comment

WHOLE-FOOD-SALAD-BAR-FRESNO 5 Worthless Salad Toppings At Fresno's Whole Foods

This is going to offend you. One of your favorite salad fixings is going to get dumped on. I’m sorry, but I must keep it real. Blogger code and all.

So hold on to your croutons, here are my 5 Most Worthless Whole Foods Fresno Salad Bar Choices:

5.WHATEVER THIS WAS:

whatever 5 Worthless Salad Toppings At Fresno's Whole Foods

You gotta figure it was something good since it is empty. But I bet it sucked.

4.TIE: BROCCOLI & PEAS. No. Just, no. I’m a grown adult and I no longer have to eat my broccoli or peas (like I ever did), let alone willfully pay to put it on my salad.

3.THIS JUNK:

junk 5 Worthless Salad Toppings At Fresno's Whole Foods

Alright so this stuff may not technically be part of the salad toppings. Controversial pick for sure. But I’ve seen people put this crap on their salads so it totally counts.

2.RED ONIONS CABBAGE:

RED-ONION 5 Worthless Salad Toppings At Fresno's Whole Foods

It’s just used for color and you don’t need a build-a-salad to look pretty. It’s a salad that YOU made, it just needs to be functional. The salad is riding in a barely functional cardboard box. It’ll look like crap once it finishes your journey home anyway.
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Flowing Into Fresno Districts – Flowing With Famous Podcast #R62

The Fresnan
flowing62 Flowing Into Fresno Districts - Flowing With Famous Podcast #R62
Fulton Street Fresno

CLICK AND LISTEN: BieberStreetFlowing.mp3

Fresnans. This is your culture podcast. It is called Flowing With Famous. Mr. Joshua Tehee of the Fresno Bee and I have been doing this for many years, mostly talking Downtown Fresno and interesting Fresno culture and music stories. This month’s episode is no different.

We revisit the Fulton Mall groundbreaking and our feelings for that day. We stay in Downtown Fresno and talk about the Culture Arts District and if South Stadium is a good name for that area of Downtown.

The Audie’s Olympic era has closed and we reminisce about the historic Tower District music club which leads us into the Band Of The Episode: Let’s Go Bowling.

The playing of Let’s Go Bowling sparks yet another version of the game: What’s The Greatest Music Act In Fresno History?

We then talk about last month’s Fresyes Fest at Tioga and how we may be getting too old and if there a culture shift in Fresno nightlife. Plus Josh saw Justin Beiber… so that happened.

Thanks for listening!
Show feed. Subscribe on iTunes.
Hosted: Joshua Tehee and The Fresnan.

Who The Hell Were All Those Damn People At Fresyes Fest?

The Fresnan 1 Comment

Like many of you, I was at Fresyes Fest at Tigoa Sequoia on Saturday. But I came really close to not being there. You saw that line waiting to get in, right? Yeah I saw it too. Forget that noise.

But wait. I gotta blog about something. I guess I will go stand in line and all that crap.

Plus I really like good beer. And it was THE event in Fresno this past weekend.

No it wasn’t the last two nights at Audie’s (although it was pretty epic, I hear). And it wasn’t even Easter. It was Fresyes Fest. Sorry, Jesus, it’s true.

So the main thing I noticed while in there? It wasn’t the food trucks taking up Fulton Street. Or the fine beer TS pours. Or the pro stage. It wasn’t even Swear Bear emptying cups:

File-Mar-28-11-15-10-PM Who The Hell Were All Those Damn People At Fresyes Fest?
Photo by Craig Kohlruss (@ck_foto)
It was all the weird, unfamiliar people. Where did all these random Valley folks come from and who are they!?

Seriously though: Who the fuck were they?!  And I use fuck in the sweetest way. Like, when a friend tells you their Great Uncle died last week. “Fuck. I’m sorry man.” That’s how I’m using it. Fuck can still be sweet and pack a punch. It’s versatile like that.

If you looked real close Saturday, you would have seen a few OG bloggers huddled in a shaded corner wondering where the time went. And yes, also still wondering who the fuck these people are.

File-Mar-28-10-57-01-PM-1024x1024 Who The Hell Were All Those Damn People At Fresyes Fest?
FresYes Fest crowd at Tioga’s Beer Garden
Old Man Fresno rant!: “Back in my day, the only festival we had was the Fig Gig and that’s the way we liked it! No fancy hipster food trucks. No cute picnic tables inside a nice big Beer Garden. Our “beer garden” was a 50×50 foot taped-off piece of blacktop behind the Applebee’s, and that’s the way we liked it and we were happy to get it!”

That’s right, children. Fig Gig. It… it was something to go to. Technically. And we didn’t have to worry about lines or choices of beer. Sanger Light Bud Light and Bud Ice anyone?

Now you have FresYes Fest. And Grizzly Fest and Whatever Is Happening This Weekend Fest. I think Fresno is doing pretty damn good in the festival department now. Even if I don’t know WHO THE FUCK anybody is at these things.

You don’t know how good you have it, you Fresno Millennials. You have a downtown to be pumped about and a thriving festival scene. There used to be just Bud Light and caution tape.

This Popolo’s Pizza problem needs to get sorted out, Fresno

The Fresnan 3 Comments

popolos-pizza-front This Popolo's Pizza problem needs to get sorted out, Fresno

UPDATE: Consider this sorted out; statement from Popolo’s:

We’re excited to announce, that Popolo’s Pizza & More! will be relocating to 7835 N. Palm Ave. #106, off of Palm & Nees in Fresno!

As saddened as we are leaving our Blackstone & Herndon location that we have occupied for almost 31 years, we feel that the matters we’ve been faced with these last couple of months, has forced us as a family to make this decision.

Our new location will have a large banquet room, patio, arcade and a beer & wine bar. With relocating to Park Place, we will be able to keep our existing delivery area & expand it, and also still be close to our previous location where our customers who live or/and work close to the area or travel from across town can find us a short drive up the street.

We want to say “THANK YOU!” to all of our amazing family, friends and customers for all of your support & patience during this difficult time. We will keep everyone updated as much as possible for all of the new & exciting things to come!

Thank you,
The Greene Family!
Popolo’s Pizza & More!
New location coming June 2016!!!!!!!!!!

[ORIGINAL POST]:
You are not going to take this lying down in your soft, sinking booth, are you, Fresnans? Popolo’s Pizza is temporarily closed. My breadstick craving gizzard is weeping. No salad bar. No pizza. No tube televisions to watch. No booth dividers to remove. Checking the taps in the waiting area is pointless. POINTLESS! *drops to knees* WHY, GOD, WHY!?!

It apparently has something to do with the building’s foundation. The floor of Popolo’s currently looks like this:

Popolos-Pizza-floor-e1458652487723 This Popolo's Pizza problem needs to get sorted out, Fresno

Did you see that!? The gap between the floor and earth? What is there like a hidden creek running beneath Pop’s? There is not supposed to be a crawl space in that building. So yeah, I can see why it might not be wise to be open with that lurking underneath.

Luckily they don’t own the building so it’s not on them to fix it. But they are not making any money right now and I’m am sitting around waiting to give them mine in exchange for a Van Ness Extension (hold the peppers).

This. This is serious guys. Oh these sad lonely booths:

empty-popolos-pizza-booth This Popolo's Pizza problem needs to get sorted out, Fresno

I would look damn good sitting in one of them. Proudly making a plate of potato skins disappear and ordering another Tioga Sequoia XPA #DrinkLocalBro.

So what’s the update on the place? Let’s get this figured out, dammit! Well I got this from Popolo’s Pizza themselves:
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