Category: Culture

The Car That Definitively Represents Fresno

IMG_7758 The Car That Definitively Represents Fresno
For Portland it’s the Subaru Outback. For Los Angeles it’s maybe a Mercedes. For San Diego… a Volkswagen. For SF it’s a city bus because where the hell would you park a vehicle anyway?

All fine and good. But what I want to know is, what is the vehicle that most represents Fresno?:

Lowered Honda Civic: Hey. Ya got a Civic. What the hell else is there to do but lower it?

IMG_7754 The Car That Definitively Represents Fresno

Raised Truck/Oversized Truck: Just pick any make. Ford. Chevy. Dodge. GMC. We got them and we raise them. You know, just in case a thousand-year-flood happens, we are high enough to drive through it. We also have to drive unnecessarily large F150s and take five minutes trying to park it in a ‘compact’ spot. Bonus points if you own a dually but have nothing to tow.

Muscle Car: Yes, Mustangs! I love them and formerly had one. There are plenty of Camaros, Firebirds and Corvettes too. Bullard, for some reason, seems to be the Fresno street to rev these down.

IMG_7751 The Car That Definitively Represents Fresno
Large SUV: NW Soccer Mom having one? OK, I get it. You’re hauling equipment and children around all the damn time – sometimes kids that are not even yours. Makes sense. Really don’t understand the need for them otherwise. And just like ‘oversized truck guy’, we like to fit them into parking stalls they don’t belong in.

Toyota Corolla: Not a sexy choice but, DAMMIT, Fresno is not sexy. You can be sexy in Fresno, but Fresno is not sexy. Fresno is show up to work on time. Fresno is get me from Point A to B in 10 minutes. Nothing says that like a Corolla.

IMG_7750 The Car That Definitively Represents Fresno
So yeah. That’s my pick. A Corolla. Fresno is the Toyota Corrola of California. And that is fine. I am good with that. Nothing wrong with that. The word “Corolla” is Latin for “small crown” and that fits us.

Somebody has to be the reliable workhorse of California and be willing to wear a smaller crown. That is a Corolla. That IS Fresno.

What Will Be The First Chain on Fulton Mall-Street?

I don’t really want any chain/corporate places on the Fulton Mall Fulton Street. But it’s coming. You damn well know it. Hell, to some, it’s kinda the point of the whole thing.

And what with Fulton Street asphalting as quick as it can…

…it’s time to talk about this.

There are those that would say, having a Starbucks and a Chipotle open on Fulton Street will signal it is back. To others, the thought makes the stomach turn.

But really, will the first be a Starbucks? Chipotle? Habit? Pieology? Maybe an Apple Store (that actually would be kinda rad):

MarcBlakeAppleStore-1024x669 What Will Be The First Chain on Fulton Mall-Street?

Maybe, David Pismos Westwood Yosemite Ranch Tahoe Joe Fansler, could prove he is the Fresno Restaurant Master and open a place on Fulton.

Could Fulton (no CVS doesn’t count) stay all local and no chains? I’m interested in finding out.

(Apple Store graphic by Marc Blake)

Best Part Of A Revamped Manchester Center Lies In A Priceless Facebook Comment

Machester-Center-1024x588 Best Part Of A Revamped Manchester Center Lies In A Priceless Facebook Comment

Did you see that they are going to revive Manchester Center? Yes, for reals! There will be a Chipotle and everything! You KNOW you are reviving when you get a Chipotle, Bro!

Manchester making a comeback? I bet you’re doubtful like me. “I’ll believe it when I see it.” Well, one of the project’s managers has read your mind.

“Let me be clear. I’ve been asked a lot and I want to be clear about this,” said Benjamin Nazarian, Omninet’s managing partner. “This is not ‘if it will happen.’ This is happening.”

Super rad. Seriously. Whenever something gets a legit makeover, South of Shaw, it is to be celebrated and supported! I am excited this is happening.

So what about this Facebook comment teased in the title?

If you haven’t noticed, the comment section of local stories posted on Facebook (in this story’s case, The Fresno Bee) can get pretty negative and silly. My first thought after reading was “Oh man, there are going to be some shots taken at Manchester Center. Here we go.”

But this one didn’t quite turn out like I thought.

“Heather” posted this:

heathercomment Best Part Of A Revamped Manchester Center Lies In A Priceless Facebook Comment

Ok well, a bit misguided about the bus stop, I think. But there is a decent point buried there that folks need to feel safe if they’re going to shop and eat at this new Manchester. But that wasn’t the interesting part of her comment.

A guy came up to her and asked her if she wanted to go “back in time with him?” My first question was “Did he say his name was Doc Brown? Maybe Calvin Klein?” [obviously a Back To The Future refrence].

The other would be Doctor Who. Somebody went right to it, bless their Internet hearts:

Dr.-Who-1 Best Part Of A Revamped Manchester Center Lies In A Priceless Facebook Comment

Heather is not getting the Doctor Who reference and it’s freaking adorbs:

heatherno Best Part Of A Revamped Manchester Center Lies In A Priceless Facebook Comment

HA! Maybe Heather doesn’t know Dr. Who. Understandable. But she would have to wise up to any Back To The Future references, right? It seems no:

oh-heather Best Part Of A Revamped Manchester Center Lies In A Priceless Facebook Comment

“Oh Heather” indeed. Thank you for bringing nerd joy to this blog.

Back to the Manchester remodel: There is no word on if the new look center will have a TARDIS or will be hosting any Enchantment Under The Sea dances:

Why Did You Not Tell Me About This, Fresno?

green-crush-2 Why Did You Not Tell Me About This, Fresno?

Did you know that the Orange Julius in Fashion Fair is gone? Yep. The Baskin Robins too. They were replaced by whatever the thing is pictured above.

You see, I don’t go inside the mall much. Only when an iPhone stops working right, or when I’ve run out of shopping options on Christmas Eve. Mayyyybe a visit to the Disney Stone BUT THAT’S IT.

So walking by and seeing that the Orange Julius and Baskin Robbins stores are no longer there? It was a bit jarring. Nobody tells me things.

Okay, well, the Robbins just moved out to a kiosk in front of the old location. But still.

new-bk Why Did You Not Tell Me About This, Fresno?

I had family that owned the mall’s Baskin & Robbins in the late 70s. I pretended to work there. My arms weren’t really strong enough to scoop ice-cream (they may not be still) but I remember wiping some display case windows for the occasional milkshake.

Because I am a nerd, the coolest part wasn’t the ice-cream. It was having access to the private hallway that runs behind some of the stores in that section of the mall. It was like being backstage at Disneyland. A really really REALLY lame Disneyland… but still.

The Orange Julius didn’t move though. Those icy citrus drinks are apparently permanently done in Fashion Fair. Google corroborates this story:

fresno-fashion-fair-orange-julius-Google-Search Why Did You Not Tell Me About This, Fresno?

#Lame.

Something not lame I found out though: Baskin Robbin’s ‘flavor of the month’ Milk n’ Cereal, is damn tasty.

I’ll miss you, old BK location and Orange Julius. Another piece of Fashion Fair regulated to the history books… remember when there was a Carl’s Jr inside the mall? No? I guess I’m the only old dude here.

What Would You ‘Edit’ Out Of Fresno?

IMG_7085 What Would You 'Edit' Out Of Fresno?If you have followed this blog for some time, I hope it’s obvious to you that I love Fresno. But that doesn’t mean I don’t see issues with the city.

There are things Fresno can do without. Things, if I had a magic wand, I would get rid of. One (or two or so) things I would edit out. What would that be?

I know there are mountains around here somewhere

The bad air. Right now it would be the bad air. Sorta obvious, with the August temps, California fires and the Valley being a natural bowl.

But honestly, I don’t think it would be my choice in the Spring, Fall or even the chimney smoke-filled Winter. I probably would choose something else. I’m one of the lucky ones (knock on wood) that isn’t physically bothered by the air.

Of course there is also strong poverty here. That would be the human thing to remove and would kick up Fresno’s economy. But that’s something an adult might do. A good person. Not sure I’m your guy.

What about little annoying things?
  • People that block the lane and don’t leave you space to merge onto the street from a parking lot.
  • Train crossings. Trains are cool for my kid to watch, but are annoying when you’re late for soccer.
  • Trying to beat the ‘churchies’ to your favorite breakfast spot on Sunday morning. …  now I’m not saying to edit out churchies, just don’t let them into my breakfast haunts until my hungover-ass is done eating.
  • Sprawl/Being too spread out. Have you ever tried to get from the Fig Garden Loop to the Airport, Tower, or (for some dumb reason) Clovis? It blows. Herndon should have been a freeway.

Theses are some things I would not mind editing out of Fresno. What about you? Leave a comment on your choice. But let’s not get to crazy negative. Remember I am STILL a Fresno lover; smoke-filled skies and all.

 

Palmdon, Jackrabbits, Fig Orchards and El Torre Chingon

Palmdon Palmdon, Jackrabbits, Fig Orchards and El Torre Chingon

Palmdon Drive? Palm. don. Can we agree it’s the worst street name in Fresno? I get it, I get it, it’s a blend of Palm & Herndon. Yeah well it’s terrible.

I don’t think it’s a legit street name. When you look it up in Google Maps, it will show where Palmdon Drive is but it won’t place the name on the street. I think the street sign holds as much validity as an “Only Bulldog Fans Can Park Here” novelty sign.

This block used to be a fig orchard. NW Fresno used to be filled with fig orchards. They are all but gone now. I lived in the neighborhood behind it when I was a kid and that fig orchard was our park.

I used to hit golf balls, play wiffleball, let my dogs run around and attempt to catch jack rabbits, and even hide from tween life. In later years it became a place to have “fig parties” but that’s a story for another time.

Now it’s just offices, car dealerships, Starbucks and of course, the Univison Tower:

the-tower Palmdon, Jackrabbits, Fig Orchards and El Torre Chingon

Back in 2009 we dubbed it: “El Torre Chingon” (That Fucking Tower).

Not really sure why I feel like it would be better if there were still fig orchards around. It just feels wrong that they are all gone. Particularly this one.

Naming the street “Palmdon” doesn’t help.