Fresno Stuff To Know At The Thanksgiving Table

November 22, 2016November 24, 2016 The Fresnan 3 Comments

WOW, Beth! This is one year you want to stay WAY THE HELL AWAY from talking politics at Thanksgiving. If the table acts like my Facebook feed, things are going to get real uncomfortable, real quick.

Screw all that mess. Talk about Fresno junk this year. It’s universal and sorta kinda doesn’t matter what party you are mostly down with – I am down with whatever party David Lee Roth is at, in case you were wondering.

Here are some Fresno things to bring up at the turkey table that your Uncle may not have been paying attention to. Or maybe for your friend Jason that is back for the Holiday weekend because he moved away because he blamed Fresno for all his stupid little problems but really you know he is just a whiny lazy conceded dick and would not be happy in any town he lived in but WHATEVER now he moved and thinks his life is SOOOO great but we know that it probably isn’t at least that is what we tell ourselves to feel cool when he tells you how great Los Angeles is and how his job really kicks ass and the girls are amazing and it was the best decision of his life.

Damn you, Jason.

THE FULTON MALL IS NOT A THING

You saw the picture at the top of this post, right? The Fulton Mall is gone, GONE I say! And we are inching closer to Fulton Street with parallel parking – Lord help us.

Speaking of Downtown, a new park is set to open in the Culture Arts District/Muraltown/LoftCity/Uptown, complete with cool lighting:

Culture-Arts-Park-from-Daniel-Draper-1024x683 Fresno Stuff To Know At The Thanksgiving Table — Photo by Daniel Draper

SPORTS

Hey, look! Former Fresno State QB Derek Carr and his smoky version of the Blue Steel look, is on the cover of ESPN the Magazine – that’s something safe to talk about:

derek-carr-854x1024 Fresno Stuff To Know At The Thanksgiving Table

Also, Jeff Tedford is the new head coach of the football team and that’s kinda rad. All the while Pat Hill’s FU-Manchu does radio for ESPN 940. And the basketball team might probably be good again – sadly they are not in town this weekend.

POLITICS

Only Fresno Can Make A Steak n Shake Opening Controversial

November 15, 2016October 31, 2023 The Fresnan 5 Comments

steaknshake-1024x538 Only Fresno Can Make A Steak n Shake Opening Controversial

Steak n’ Shake Fresno has closed!

UPDATE: Was it the location? Was it the prices? The menu? Your lazy ass not caring about a chain you knew nothing about?

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Check out this for more info but you can no longer go to Steak n’ Shake in Fresno. It has closed due to lack of business.

I really don’t think the problem was putting it in the Sunnyside Area of Fresno. It was that particular spot that was the problem. Very odd, like you were in a hidden industrial park.

There are rumors that a North East Fresno location is in the works but I think it is just a rumor.

Oh well. Below is my original post about Steak n’ Shake coming to Fresno.

Since you can’t get a Steak n’ Shake burger in Fresno anymore, check this out so you can at least season one like it.

Original Post:

A little late on this post but… I need to talk about this Steak ‘n Shake that is being built in Fresno on Kings Canyon. Yep, Kings Canyon.

This is a new-to-Fresno burger chain that is out of Normal, Illinois. It has some cult following to it, sorta similar to In & Out and White Castle. It looks like a Johnny Rockets meets Five Guys to me.

I have never eaten or heard about the place before, but I see they got something called the Cheddar Cheesy that I will be all about trying:

SNS_DSteakburger_Cheddar_Cheesy_060616_350x300 Only Fresno Can Make A Steak n Shake Opening Controversial

The most interesting thing about this place coming to Fresno is not the food. It’s the location. A chain with some buzz around it is being built in Sunnyside area and not on or North of Shaw. About fucking time.

Of course the Internet has issue with the location

Not everyone on Facebook is down with it being at Kings Canyone & Peach. An example:

beth Only Fresno Can Make A Steak n Shake Opening Controversial

Well, Beth. That deserves some replies. Don’t you think?

Wow-Beth Only Fresno Can Make A Steak n Shake Opening Controversial

I love the last comment from Rosie, “Wow Beth!” … Wow Beth. I really like saying that, “WOW, Beth!” I think I will be using that in my everyday life from now on. Whenever somebody does something that’s surprising or controversial or something unexpected happens, I will be saying “Wow, Beth” as a response. I hope you will join me.

Oh but Beth was not alone. There were others. Like, John:

There is a lot more than those but you get the idea.

The Sunnyside Area Deserves Nice Things

Hey, a burger joint in a Walmart Center might not be considered a “nice thing” but it’s still cool.

The Sunnyside area deserves this. They were supposed to get a new “River Park Style” shopping area and that has never happened.

But if you still feel like your Northeast Flowvis area is “underserved”, you can always look into franchising a Steak n’ Shake on Willow & Nees for yourself.

Fresno Has The Best Artist Renderings

November 8, 2016November 8, 2016 The Fresnan 1 Comment

You know those artist renderings? Like the one above for the Fresno Aquarium – by the way, the aquarium is a thing that will finally happen for Fresno… one day.

Fresno has had some cool renderings over the years. They get you all excited about the potential. My current favorite is this one:

FultonProject Fresno Has The Best Artist Renderings

A planned mixed-use project that would be on Fulton, across the street from the Tioga Sequoia Beer Garden – I already need to be hanging out on one of those balconies, drinking a Tioga beer, looking back at Tioga from the balcony, yelling to people in the Tioga Beer Garden “Hey, Tioga! Look at me! On this balcony! With my Tioga! Tioga!”

There is also the remodel of Manchester Center, with some updates on the project. They have been working on getting it started since 2013, as this video demonstrates:

Not all of the renderings come to pass

During Mayor Bubba’s time, I can remember a pretty sweet rendering of the Downtown Lake and Riverwalk proposed. But, alas, I can not find it on the local internets. I think that was the same timeline of Bass Pro sniffing around too.

I also remember a render for Running Horse development and country club. Yeah, that only sorta happened. Some guy named Donald Trump came around trying to get the City of Fresno to give him all the things. They wisely did not. I wonder whatever happened to that Trump guy…

We talked a little bit about Fresno renderings on Flowing With Famous this month. Here is a clip of that:

If you have a historically awesome Fresno rendering your memory deems worth mentioning, leave it in the comments.

Indiana Jones and The Lost Mancave Of Fresno

November 1, 2016April 8, 2024 The Fresnan 5 Comments

A secret Indiana Jones man cave in Fresno? Just when I started getting over never being invited to Fresno’s Underground Supper Club, I found a new sorta of secret Fresno space nobody has invited me to. It’s called: Temple Of Vroom.

Yes. A private, Indiana Jones-themed mancave/event space, exists within the city of Fresno. And here I am without a white tux.

Temple-Of-Doom-Indiana-Tux Indiana Jones and The Lost Mancave Of Fresno

This place, built by local company Monster City Studios, is amazing. It’s billed as the World’s Biggest Mancave. Full bar, Indiana Jones pinball games, actual movie set pieces, fortune and glory.

So, it is set up like a super rad event space but the owner doesn’t seem to rent it out to make money. He just opens the doors to family, friends, and a select few.

I need to be one of those select few. Having a Indiana Jones Lego set is not enough.

You see, I am a lifelong Indiana Jones nerd. I even have a podcast about Harrison Ford to prove it. So, I can NOT be living in the same town as the ultimate Indy-themed bar, and never go in it!

No ticket.

Sorry, Dad, I Can’t Let Go

I gotta get into this place. Fresno acts like a small town a lot of the time. Everybody seems to know each other. Tell me you know the person who owns this Temple Of Fresno. Then tell them to get in touch with me.

I need somebody local to talk Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny with and gush over every damn Indiana Jones thing in existence. I feel like the person who owns this space could do that with me.

I am pretty sure it’s a little ways off of Highway 99, on West Shaw, in the industrial area behind Costco.

Really though, it doesn’t matter if you know where it’s at or not, it’s private and locked up when nobody is using it. You need that access. Ya gotta know a guy. I hope to know a guy someday.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I am off to write some Indiana Jones fan-fiction that has Dr. Jones exploring the Underground Gardens. He then stumbles onto an ancient artifact, sealed in hardpan, and he’s gotta battle the evil Clovisians to keep it away from Hitler.

Video of the Temple of Vroom:

*Photo by Craig Kohlruss.

P.S. Look at some Indiana Jones stuff on Amazon.

P.S.S. How about this Indiana Jones Disneyland ride, print.

Heads up: I am a Amazon Affiliate and I might get a percentage of something bought on Amazon.

The Bay Has Way More Goats Than Fresno

October 25, 2016October 25, 2016 The Fresnan

That is a map of every goat in the country. How they were able to count them, you’d have to ask the Wonk Blog.

What is most interesting to me is the amount of goats the Bay Area has. Like, WAY more than Fresno and the Valley does.

And I don’t think it’s a hipster “goats are a natural lawnmower that cuts back on greenhouse gases” kind of thing. San Francisco just likes goats.

Whatcha all doing over there? …With the goats. Mark this as a day San Fransisco is more hick than Fresno.

Don’t Be Lame, Whole Foods Fig Garden, Fresno Needs This

October 18, 2016October 18, 2016 The Fresnan 2 Comments

The time has come, Whole Foods Fresno. Turn your dumb little cooking demo room into a craft beer bar.

You know the little area, tucked into the corner of the bread department. The one you rarely use for anything – except for what you are using it as now: a backroom for your bread department:

This needs to have beer taps in it, not bread racks.

You may think that a craft beer bar inside a grocery store is not a thing. You would be wrong. It is a thing. In fact, Whole Foods leads the way in grocery store beer bars. They have several.

In fact, the Houston one even has a brewery! And the one down in Del Mar (SD) has really terrible cover bands playing:

Just imagine that inside Fresno’s Whole Foods – only with the Light Thieves playing.

Hybrid drinking holes

This Whole Foods craft beer bar need opens things up to another stellar idea.

On The Perfect Pour we somewhat jokingly floated the idea of having a beer bar inside a hardware store and also how there are not enough sandwich shops with beer.

This is a good start. I wouldn’t mind having a beer with my Gino’s sub. But what other Fresno places could use some beer?

Since a CSU rule prevents Bulldog Stadium from selling beer, that one stays off the list. Also, hair salons recently got the ok to serve alcohol [legally], so that’s taken care of.

With that, here are some ideas to spice up some local places with a beer bar:

Jury Duty. Yeah you might get more people to actually show up if there was the promise of one free beer (or wine) per day. Mmmmm, Goverment beerrrr.

Pep Boys. Just using Pep Boys as a place holder, it could be any mechanic in town. I would actually get my oil changed at the mileage Jiffy Lube suggested if I knew I could have a hoppy pale while waiting.

Costco. It would be cheap, as long as you bought two gallons at a time. … on second thought: fuck this. I don’t want to go into Costco any more than I have to.

So lets get that beer bar going, Whole Foods Fresno! Hurry, before Pottery Barn beats you to it.

If you have a suggestion for a place in Fresno that could use a beer & wine bar, leave it in the comments!