Tag: heat

There Are Weather Apps Out To Get Fresno?

The Fresnan
There Are Weather Apps Out To Get Fresno?
This is a screenshot from the weather app, Carrot.

Bro. I knew it wasn’t going to get to the 105 and 106 on Friday. This is what many weather models were showing.

You could tell by 9AM it wasn’t going to be that hot.

You see, experienced Fresnans know that the night before and the morning of, tell you everything about what the day is going to be like.

I worked outside most of the day and it was fine to me (humble brag). I am locked in for this Summer.

Anyway, really I am here to take this time to note that weather people are out to fuck Fresno.

All of them predict Fresno as being hotter than it really is. This is not an issue of the reading being taken at the wrong place (which it totally is), weather apps always error on the side of hotter.

Just like my favorite one, Carrot, they predict higher than it ends up being. All. The. Time.

So screw them all. I don’t know why they want to keep Fresno down, maybe they don’t even know they are doing it. But they do it.

Sicko Fresnan Taking Joy In The Pacific NW Heatwave

The Fresnan
F97A4009-2EA6-44B7-B5AF-5A82D454C1F2 Sicko Fresnan Taking Joy In The Pacific NW Heatwave

Portland has been pulling in some of our most interesting Fresnans for years, I hope you understand why I am enjoying this NW heatwave so much.

I kinda love seeing people new to heat react to it. Here are some of my favorites:

Tacoma:

https://twitter.com/troubeerdourks/status/1408954029925834752?s=21

Portland:

Naked Portland:

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How To Be OK With The Fresno Heat

The Fresnan 1 Comment

fresno-paletas-1024x629 How To Be OK With The Fresno Heat
Le Reina Paletas Photo stolen from VidaEnElvalle.com

You’re not a Fresnan until you’ve suffered through enjoyed a Summer in Fresno and the time has begun to ready yourself for the Fresno Sun.

We’ve gotten through our first heatwave and I’m officially adjusted to. It just takes one solid three day run of upper 90s plus and I’m locked in until the end of September.

“But how can I obtain this ability to get through a Fresno Summer as an asshat such as yourself, Fresnan?” Well, here are my suggestions on how to deal with it and help make it better.

  • Crank your air. Sure, this is a no duh, but good air conditioning is pretty big. If you’re lucky enough to have a good solar system, then crank the crap out of that AC unit, bro, you have won Fresno.
  • Just don’t go outside from 2 to 6. Who wants to be outside from 2 to 6:00 anyway? It’s not like there is anything going on. That is unless you have access to a pool. If you have access to a pool, 2 to 6 can be rather awesome.
  • Paletas. These help a great deal. I am especially found of the ones from La Reina De Michoacana (even though I can’t ever pronounce the name of the shop). Bring cash and be ready to take home a dozen, at least.
  • Beer and water. Fresno has plenty of good beer options now (could always use more though) and we still have… SOME water. Drink both of these things (yep at the same time, hydrate) and the heat goes away. Drink enough beer and everything goes away (except your gut).
  • Patios at night. The Fresno Summer creates a perfect atmosphere for hanging outside at night. Add the previous mentioned swimming pool and beer to that mix, and you’ve got one very magical Fresno evening.
  • Get geeky about temperatures changes. This is a personal nerdy one. Follow, from day-to-day, what time temps change and see if you can tell the difference in a two degree temperature drop or rise the next day. You know when people say “Oh it doesn’t matter once it’s past 100 degrees.” Actually it does. And I’m nerdy and trained enough to tell. I’m trying to develop a skill, don’t laugh, it can be done and soon you WILL have the skill too.
  • Get with some trees. Drive up into the mountains for part of the day. Sure, you can do the same with the beach or The Bay. But it’s a lot easier to just run up the hill and maybe jump into Bass Lake, Shaver or Lewis Creek or push on into Yosemite. Have you had a beer and a lunch at South Gate yet? Do it.
  • The SJ River. Oh yeah, we have a river too. Pretty nice one that is officially in Fresno and stuff. There’s just not enough good spots to access and enjoy it. But wait, cue the San Joaquin River Parkway folks because they have all the spots a Fresnan can use to get in that river thingy that we forget is there.

There you go. It’s a start. Grab a beer and take in that 103 degree day. If it drops to 101 tomorrow you’ll be trained to enjoy it.