How To Be OK With The Fresno Heat

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Le Reina Paletas Photo stolen from VidaEnElvalle.com

You’re not a Fresnan until you’ve suffered through enjoyed a Summer in Fresno and the time has begun to ready yourself for the Fresno Sun.

We’ve gotten through our first heatwave and I’m officially adjusted to. It just takes one solid three day run of upper 90s plus and I’m locked in until the end of September.

“But how can I obtain this ability to get through a Fresno Summer as an asshat such as yourself, Fresnan?” Well, here are my suggestions on how to deal with it and help make it better.

  • Crank your air. Sure, this is a no duh, but good air conditioning is pretty big. If you’re lucky enough to have a good solar system, then crank the crap out of that AC unit, bro, you have won Fresno.
  • Just don’t go outside from 2 to 6. Who wants to be outside from 2 to 6:00 anyway? It’s not like there is anything going on. That is unless you have access to a pool. If you have access to a pool, 2 to 6 can be rather awesome.
  • Paletas. These help a great deal. I am especially found of the ones from La Reina De Michoacana (even though I can’t ever pronounce the name of the shop). Bring cash and be ready to take home a dozen, at least.
  • Beer and water. Fresno has plenty of good beer options now (could always use more though) and we still have… SOME water. Drink both of these things (yep at the same time, hydrate) and the heat goes away. Drink enough beer and everything goes away (except your gut).
  • Patios at night. The Fresno Summer creates a perfect atmosphere for hanging outside at night. Add the previous mentioned swimming pool and beer to that mix, and you’ve got one very magical Fresno evening.
  • Get geeky about temperatures changes. This is a personal nerdy one. Follow, from day-to-day, what time temps change and see if you can tell the difference in a two degree temperature drop or rise the next day. You know when people say “Oh it doesn’t matter once it’s past 100 degrees.” Actually it does. And I’m nerdy and trained enough to tell. I’m trying to develop a skill, don’t laugh, it can be done and soon you WILL have the skill too.
  • Get with some trees. Drive up into the mountains for part of the day. Sure, you can do the same with the beach or The Bay. But it’s a lot easier to just run up the hill and maybe jump into Bass Lake, Shaver or Lewis Creek or push on into Yosemite. Have you had a beer and a lunch at South Gate yet? Do it.
  • The SJ River. Oh yeah, we have a river too. Pretty nice one that is officially in Fresno and stuff. There’s just not enough good spots to access and enjoy it. But wait, cue the San Joaquin River Parkway folks because they have all the spots a Fresnan can use to get in that river thingy that we forget is there.

There you go. It’s a start. Grab a beer and take in that 103 degree day. If it drops to 101 tomorrow you’ll be trained to enjoy it.

 

 

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Who The Hell Were All Those Damn People At Fresyes Fest?

Like many of you, I was at Fresyes Fest at Tigoa Sequoia on Saturday. But I came really close to not being there. You saw that line waiting to get in, right? Yeah I saw it too. Forget that noise.

But wait. I gotta blog about something. I guess I will go stand in line and all that crap.

Plus I really like good beer. And it was THE event in Fresno this past weekend.

No it wasn’t the last two nights at Audie’s (although it was pretty epic, I hear). And it wasn’t even Easter. It was Fresyes Fest. Sorry, Jesus, it’s true.

So the main thing I noticed while in there? It wasn’t the food trucks taking up Fulton Street. Or the fine beer TS pours. Or the pro stage. It wasn’t even Swear Bear emptying cups:

File Mar 28, 11 15 10 PM
Photo by Craig Kohlruss (@ck_foto)
It was all the weird, unfamiliar people. Where did all these random Valley folks come from and who are they!?

Seriously though: Who the fuck were they?!  And I use fuck in the sweetest way. Like, when a friend tells you their Great Uncle died last week. “Fuck. I’m sorry man.” That’s how I’m using it. Fuck can still be sweet and pack a punch. It’s versatile like that.

If you looked real close Saturday, you would have seen a few OG bloggers huddled in a shaded corner wondering where the time went. And yes, also still wondering who the fuck these people are.

Fresno FresYes Fest
FresYes Fest crowd at Tioga’s Beer Garden
Old Man Fresno rant!: “Back in my day, the only festival we had was the Fig Gig and that’s the way we liked it! No fancy hipster food trucks. No cute picnic tables inside a nice big Beer Garden. Our “beer garden” was a 50×50 foot taped-off piece of blacktop behind the Applebee’s, and that’s the way we liked it and we were happy to get it!”

That’s right, children. Fig Gig. It… it was something to go to. Technically. And we didn’t have to worry about lines or choices of beer. Sanger Light Bud Light and Bud Ice anyone?

Now you have FresYes Fest. And Grizzly Fest and Whatever Is Happening This Weekend Fest. I think Fresno is doing pretty damn good in the festival department now. Even if I don’t know WHO THE FUCK anybody is at these things.

You don’t know how good you have it, you Fresno Millennials. You have a downtown to be pumped about and a thriving festival scene. There used to be just Bud Light and caution tape.

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Listen To This: Eating Out Fresno – Dorktown #120

Dorktown120

This one won’t make the Podcast Hall Of Fame but we’re posting in anyway, because, well, we had fun. The Dorktown gang hangs out and talks all kinds of local and what nots:

  • Laser Quest must be a front.
  • Tioga Sequoia Brewing has hooked Bells.
  • A review (sorta) of the Catacomb Party and the Fulton Mall.
  • Forit Or Againit: Bringing the COCO Bobblehead to Fresno.
  • Fresno Home and Garden Show: Horrid.
  • Castillo’s impresses.
  • MUSIC BREAK: Werebear “Night Of The Werebear”
  • Podcaster advice.
  • BEER DORK: Beer mules and Dust Bowl Brewing.
  • REMOTE: Spokeasy’s.
  • FONZY EYYS!

LISTEN HERE: Dorktown120.mp3


More Notes:

Dead In 60’s Catacomb Party video
.
Ear Candy podcast
.
FUSE Fest
.

Support Tioga Sequoia Brewing because they are big supporters of Craft Beer, Downtown Fresno and Fresno podcasts!

Check out Dorktown’s home, leave a kickass review on iTunes, like their Face and Tweet’um… you know… if you have the time or whatever.

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BANDGEEK!: It’s Not Quite ALL About Saturday’s ‘Catacomb Party’ But It’s Close

Once you've stolen a glass from Fresno Brewing Company, you're all set to begin your weekend of comedy and music. It's time to… BANDGEEK!!

FRIDAY

KUPPAJOE'S: Frequent Fresno visitors Picture Atlantic stop in to release their CD "Digital Tension" with Cold Eskimo, Happy Body Slow Brain, Sahab and Conveyor:

Picture atlantic

FULTON 55:

Heroemporium

C.A.F.E. INFOSHOP: Seattle folk rock from Origami Ghosts. Plus Fresnan favorites Werebear and more:

Cafeintoshop

THAI PALMS: Valley rock from Dislodic, Hamerdown Sindrum and Keeney:

Dislodic

STARLINE: It's a Jurassic Jam to fight cancer:

Jurrasicrock

SATURDAY

FRESNO BREWING COMPANY/FULTON MALL: Biggest show Catacomb Party we've seen all year and one of the more unique ones. The Fulton Mall (out front of FBC) will be turned into, basically, a music festival venue. Lots of good bands, lots of good beer, highlighted by a performance from the Firece Creatures. Plus music from Fast Car, Strange Vine, The Slient Comedy, a reunion for the Argyle Pimps, Achievement House, Coast Jumper, Animal Eyes and Bell Thieves. And did you get that it's free and open to all ages? Yep:

Catacomb

Continue reading “BANDGEEK!: It’s Not Quite ALL About Saturday’s ‘Catacomb Party’ But It’s Close”

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Listen To This!: Dorktown #112 – Your Jackass Friends Won’t Get This.

Dorktown112

A fresh episode of Dorktown is here to start your new week off. It's maybe more local talk and cussing than you could want or need but it's free so suck it up. Seriously though, thanks for listening and tell your cool friends. They'll hear stuff like:

  • New WWE tag team: Dork Town.
  • Low budget marketing with $1 shamrocks.
  • The best time to go to Art Hop is when you're invisible.
  • Mutants in Millerton Lake.
  • New Fresno bars.
  • Pagers ruled.
  • NEW!: Dorktown News.
  • MUSIC BREAK: Achievement House "Summer Spirit"
  • Audie's is still the best.
  • REMOTE: Tokyo Garden "Is It Metal"?
  • FONZY EYYS!

Listen by clicking the file below:
Dorktown112.mp3 [37:14]

You can also listen to Dorktown by downloading from iTunes. Leave Dorktown a message 559-492-0542.

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