![fresno-street-eat-Fresyes-1024x819 5 Things I Will Do at Fresyes Fest [2023]](https://i0.wp.com/thefresnan.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/fresno-street-eat-Fresyes.jpg?resize=648%2C518&ssl=1)
We can debate what our biggest festivals are some other time. But it might be Fresyes Fest. Biggest or not, I PLAN on going (I don’t get out much, so I am cautious with my optimism of leaving the house for something).
Fresyes Fes is this Saturday. It is centered around the Brewery District. Streets will be blocked. Beer will be drank. Music will be played. Tacos will be eaten.
Here are five things I plan to do, maybe you can to:
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If you are on ‘Fresno Internet’, I’m sure you have seen that FresYes Fest is Saturday.
If you haven’t been before, my number one tip is to go early. It starts at 1:00 so go at 1:00! (Unless you are not broken like me and enjoy large crowds then go whenever)
I plan to stick around for Bill Clifton & The Chicken & Whiskey Band’s set there in the 3-4 mid-afternoon sweet spot, then I will have one foot out the door – time to hit the road.
Reason being, that is the time (4:30ish) when the lines really start forming. The mess starts happening. The youth begin to takeover. People from weird places like Clovis start showing up.
And that’s totally cool and stuff – I just don’t want to be there for it. My curmudgeon self won’t endure.
The only thing that might get me to stay is Joshua Tehee hosting a stage:
I can’t say I have heard of any of those bands which is totally cool because I am ready to be impressed or whatever – it has been too damn long since I’ve seen some local talent live.
I also might stay for beer – if there are no lines. Also can stay for taco variants:
But again, you gotta be there early, even for tacos.
“Where the fuck do I park!?” Like, dude, wherever. Look at the map:
Alrighty, well, it doesn’t exactly hold your hand and show you where to park but just act like you’re going to a Grizzlies game or jury duty and you’ll be fine.
But also, maybe get your Uncle to give you a ride down there and just wing it for a ride home – make an adventure out of it. One year I walked over to The Raddison and got an Uber home from there.
Anyway, it will be fun, even for grumpy dudes like me. See ya out there EARLY. ✌️?
People can shit on this and I get it, you shouldn’t brag about things not technically in your city, but hey man: it’s pretty fucking cool we can get to everything rad in California by lunch time.
ALL BY LUNCH!!
I can go have a pizza at Zachary’s in Berkeley right now, FUCKING WATCH ME.
Then go have some beers at Faction and look at this view:
Then have some sucker drive my buzzed-ass back home for tacos in downtown Fresno, LIKE. A. KING!
Can Austin say that? Fucking Kansas City? Chicago? Atlanta? Boston? Pittsburgh? Either of the Portlands?
NO! They cant say these things! Cities don’t talk.
But if they could? Well, they would say “I wish I was where Fresno is.”
We do. We need one – you know, when the COVID is gone (someday I hope to delete that statement from this post).
Just a straight up fucking BEER HALL!
Take one large hall. Then add…
It’s actually really simple. Not that fucking hard to do and nobody is doing it exactly like that. IT WOULD RAKE!!
And it wouldn’t matter where you put it. How about one of you assholes with money just fucking do it already!?!!
Flavorless beasts. Lettuce and/or cabbage add nothing but sadness to tacos. So why the hell are they automatic for every damn, otherwise delicious, taco?
Before we get too far down this hole, I do want to make it clear that I prefer cabbage on a taco over lettuce. It simply holds up better. Still sucks, just holds up better. Anyway, proceeding…
I get that there would be a certain amount of people that like cabbage or lettuce on their tacos. Feels like that is a small group. That group should have the option of ADDING cabbage or lettuce.
Cabbalettuce should not automatically be on the taco. It sucks rotten lemons. Yeah, I have now put cabbage and lettuce together as one word because I am tired of saying “and/or”. Anyway, proceeding…
You get a taco for the base protein; asada, chicken, fish, or whatever. Add the salsa and lemon or lime. Done. EVERYTHING else should be options.
If I knew how to cook things, had some guts, started my own taco truck, this is how I would roll:
Has anyone ever EVER said “Oh man, that’s some damn good lettuce!” “Ohhhh those tacos have the BEST cabbage!”? No, of course they fucking haven’t!
They haven’t because, at the very least, a person is indifferent to cabbalettuce, but NOBODY ACTUALLY WANTS IT! No person has ever said “They don’t put enough cabbage on their tacos.” NOBODY!
Sure, you can say that cabbalettuce adds a little crispness or something. That’s cool for you. But hey, I bet you wouldn’t miss it.
I know what you’re thinking; Yes, I can and do ask to leave off the cabbage or lettuce or onion, please. But that is annoying. I need my life simpler, okay!?
Oh, and if you want to have cilantro, so be it. I don’t agree and don’t want it, it sucks like cabbalettuce. But I get that it does add a flavor component. Should be offered, not forced. Why ya gotta force your cabbalettuce agenda on me, bro?
I’m fond of the truck that shows up to Zack’s Brewing often, I believe it’s El Tapatio. They have the best setup because they give you the base taco you ordered and they have a condiment style bar that let you add the things, like cabbage or onions, yourself.
This year’s famous Taco Truck Throwdown is happening soon in Fresno. Hopefully, the one with the most cabbaletucce will lose.
So I guess I am not cool but I have not had one scrap of food from The Annex Kitchen in Fresno.
I have recently started keeping a running list of restaurants I need to eat at in Fresno. Places I have heard other people talking about or ones that just look good to me. The Italian inspired cuisine of the Annex Kitchen is at the top of the list.
Believe it or not, Fresno has many places to eat and not all of them involve tacos. I dunno if Annex Kitchen has tacos, they probably do. This is Fresno, we love tacos, tacos are great, don’t think I’m hating on tacos. But, you know, it can’t be tacos every day all day. Can it?
PEOPLE SAY GOOD THINGS: Well, not everybody says good things because there are a lot of dickbags of Yelp. The kind of people that expect everything and give nothing. So I will overlook those reviews and take this one from some out of town person named Linda:
Went to Fresno for my first time on a business Work trip. My co-workers and I wanted to go a nice dinner that night so of course with us not being familiar with Fresno. Yelp is my go to. Found this place and reviews were good so thought we give this place a try. The ambiance of the place when we walked in was nice. I love everything about it. You can either dress up or dress casual. The service was great and the food was just as good. I got the squid ink noodles and it was delicious! My co-workers got the steak and they loved it! I tried a piece of the steak and it was cooked perfectly! I would definitely recommend this place. Too bad I don't live in the area but next time when I'm back for my business trip this will be the first stop to eat .:)
Sounds like someone needs to move to Fresno. And I can’t imagine I will be trying the ‘squid ink noodles’ but maybe.
A Fresno native chimes in with a five-star review from CUC “Cookie Monster” on Yelp:
When I left Fresno a few years ago, I thought to myself, "I am never coming back here." Boy was I wrong! Thanks to a very good friend getting married, I had to pay this central city a visit. During the weekend, I was able to meet my preceptor again and catch up over delicious food. She's Italian so I trust her taste in food. She knows what she's talking about. I miss her. YAY! I guess I won't mind coming back again if there's another reason and if/when I do, I expect to find another yummy gem in Fresno.
This place is making people want to come back to Fresno. Must be freaking good.
FOOD PEOPLE GO THERE: Chefs and Food Network people like Tyler Florence and Simon Majumbar have annexed and seem to have really liked it. I heard that it is, or is going to be, on a cooking channel show. So, you know, that’s cool and stuff.
IT’S NOT FAR FROM THE HOUSE: This is a key point for me. I can get whiny if you make me go too far from the house, especially when I’m not getting paid for it.
IT’S ACROSS THE STREET FROM MY BANK/ATM: Paying in cash is best.
It may look like it but this is not a paid post. I don’t think I know anybody that works at The Annex Kitchen or that owns the place. It is just sitting there on top of the list and I want to go soon.
Speaking of the list, I will share it at another time, in another post. Maybe once I have gone to Annex Kitchen. I will tell you this though, there are places on my list that have tacos, of-fucking-course.
*Picture taken from here.