What Would You ‘Edit’ Out Of Fresno?

If you have followed this blog for some time, I hope it’s obvious to you that I love Fresno. But that doesn’t mean I don’t see issues with the city.

There are things Fresno can do without. Things, if I had a magic wand, I would get rid of. One (or two or so) things I would edit out. What would that be?

I know there are mountains around here somewhere

The bad air. Right now it would be the bad air. Sorta obvious, with the August temps, California fires and the Valley being a natural bowl.

But honestly, I don’t think it would be my choice in the Spring, Fall or even the chimney smoke-filled Winter. I probably would choose something else. I’m one of the lucky ones (knock on wood) that isn’t physically bothered by the air.

Of course there is also strong poverty here. That would be the human thing to remove and would kick up Fresno’s economy. But that’s something an adult might do. A good person. Not sure I’m your guy.

What about little annoying things?
  • People that block the lane and don’t leave you space to merge onto the street from a parking lot.
  • Train crossings. Trains are cool for my kid to watch, but are annoying when you’re late for soccer.
  • Trying to beat the ‘churchies’ to your favorite breakfast spot on Sunday morning. …  now I’m not saying to edit out churchies, just don’t let them into my breakfast haunts until my hungover-ass is done eating.
  • Sprawl/Being too spread out. Have you ever tried to get from the Fig Garden Loop to the Airport, Tower, or (for some dumb reason) Clovis? It blows. Herndon should have been a freeway.

Theses are some things I would not mind editing out of Fresno. What about you? Leave a comment on your choice. But let’s not get to crazy negative. Remember I am STILL a Fresno lover; smoke-filled skies and all.

 

Bagby’s Beer Is The Place Fresno Needs

Bagby Beer Company

There’s a lot going in Fresno right now. What with pavement being laid on Fulton, the Spanspek lineup being announced, the Mayor soon taking on a new soul-fulfilling job, Jenna Prandini being Olympic, Kelly Slater making his previously secret Fresno area surfing spot public.

Things.

Dude I missed some of those. I was in San Diego on a ‘beercation’ (it’s a thing) to attend the Festival Of Dankness. Saw some pretty rad beer related stuff. None more rad (and I will pull it back to Fresno) than going to Bagby’s Beer Company.

bagby-beer-oceanside

I was amazed by the coolness of this place. Three very different bars, all in one place, all with different micro climates. But it manages to keep it tied together. You know you’re in the same place but are still having different experiences.

bagby upstairs

The design was well done, downstairs, upstairs, inside, outside, desert, beach, California, ALL represented. A San Diego classic.

HOW IS THIS FRESNO, BRO?

The reason I bring it up on a Fresno blog is I CAN TOTALLY SEE THIS IN FRESNO! A Fresno version anyway. We deserve it. We can support it. We can have nice things.

Fresno is ready. Just look at all the beer stuff happening or about to happen around town. We are building a scene and the Tioga’s, Goldstein’s, House Of Pendragons, Spokeasy’s and Pine & Palms, won’t mind the good company.

SOMEONE WITH MONEY GET ON THIS

If you are a beer and business dude in Fresno, looking for inspiration, check out the article by the SD Reader on the beginning of Bagby’s and how it was built. You just might get inspired. I’ll be waiting with something hoppy in hand.

Cheers!

(One pic stolen from here and one from here)

Fresno On Fire

41 brush fire

Highway 41 has become a mess (99 was already a mess and nobody cared). We talked about it some in the past episode of Flowing With Famous; Fresno’s ports of entry make Fresno look pretty damn shabby.

Dangerous too because then there were the fires. Fires along Highway 41 because there is too much trash unmanaged dry grass.

Things are getting serious and Caltrans is not helping or can’t help, for the moment.

The Bee’s editorial staff put together a nice piece about how this should not be and how Caltrans says it is because copper thieves have stolen so much of the landscaping’s infrastructure that they no longer have to budget to maintain the local highways – it’s going to replacing copper.

Caltrans says they will get around to cleaning things up in the next couple months.

You KNOW that bullshit would not fly in Los Angeles, SD or the Bay Area. Probably not in Sacramento either. Pretty sure they wouldn’t be allowing the highways to get so wild, that brush fires are normal.

But that’s how we do here in Fresno. We drive around trash, blow through brush fires, and we roll on.

(Pic stolen from the Fresno Bee)

*In case you noticed this is an odd posting style for The Fresnan, I’m taking part in a seven-day “blogging challenge”. One style of post a day, for seven days straight. 

Previous posts:

Did Mayor Ashley Swearengin Do A Good Job For The City Of Fresno?

Pic stolen from fresnostatenews.com
Pic stolen from fresnostatenews.com

We know that Swear Bear’s time as Fresno Mayor is almost over. So I would like to see what you think of her term as Fresno’s Boss.

Kick all ass? Sorta cool? Terrible? Let’s see what you have to say:

If you don’t feel like clicking on the poll (or even if you do), please fill up the comment section with your opinion. I will too.

How To Never Make Money Blogging

keyboard

The luxurious world of blogging is real. The rumors are true. All the money and fame you assume happens to bloggers? I’m here to tell you it happens. Girls. Free shit. Best tables at restaurants. Passes to all the cool shows.

Of course I’m lying. None of those things are true.

Being a blogger is the lowest rung of the cool person pole. And that’s OK. That’s why I like it. Apparently I love spending hours of personal time trying to think of something to blog about and then doing it and then getting zero dollars for it and 40 people to look at it. It’s neat.

I have a lot of experience in blogging for nothing. Since 2002. Here is my “how to” for making sure you never get paid for blogging. Especially blogging about Fresno.

  • Never guest blog. That blog about puppy enthusiast culture doesn’t need your traffic and you don’t need theirs.
  • Don’t communicate with people. Never engage with humans. Especially influential bloggers or readers. This may cause them to notice you and hire you for things and subscribe to your blog.
  • If people compliment you, ignore them. If they like your stuff, they likely suck and their opinion is stupid.
  • Don’t do sponsored posts. If someone offers you money to write about their product, tell them “No I’m too punk rock for that.”
  • Don’t ask for help. Never ever ask people “Could you share my blog with all your cool friends? Thanks.” This could drive traffic to your blog and maybe prompt people to hire you for something.
  • Never take yourself seriously. Don’t convince yourself that you’re good at blogging. Just keep telling yourself it’s impossible to make ANY sort of living doing something that’s totally cool and rad.

There. You have been let into the world of not making money blogging. I’ve been following this advice for years and I have no money in the bank from blogging to show for it.

Keep this information to yourself for it is highly valuable. Next time I’ll conduct a seminar on “How To Not Make Money Podcasting” – it’s pretty much the same course.

*In case you noticed this is an odd post for The Fresnan, I’m taking part in a seven-day “blogging challenge”. One writing prompt a day for seven days straight. This one is day 5: write a “how to” post.

Previous posts:

Palmdon, Jackrabbits, Fig Orchards and El Torre Chingon

Palmdon

Palmdon Drive? Palm. don. Can we agree it’s the worst street name in Fresno? I get it, I get it, it’s a blend of Palm & Herndon. Yeah well it’s terrible.

I don’t think it’s a legit street name. When you look it up in Google Maps, it will show where Palmdon Drive is but it won’t place the name on the street. I think the street sign holds as much validity as an “Only Bulldog Fans Can Park Here” novelty sign.

This block used to be a fig orchard. NW Fresno used to be filled with fig orchards. They are all but gone now. I lived in the neighborhood behind it when I was a kid and that fig orchard was our park.

I used to hit golf balls, play wiffleball, let my dogs run around and attempt to catch jack rabbits, and even hide from tween life. In later years it became a place to have “fig parties” but that’s a story for another time.

Now it’s just offices, car dealerships, Starbucks and of course, the Univison Tower:

The Tower

Back in 2009 we dubbed it: “El Torre Chingon” (That Fucking Tower).

Not really sure why I feel like it would be better if there were still fig orchards around. It just feels wrong that they are all gone. Particularly this one.

Naming the street “Palmdon” doesn’t help.