Fresno Has The Best Artist Renderings


You know those artist renderings? Like the one above for the Fresno Aquarium – by the way, the aquarium is a thing that will finally happen for Fresno… one day.

Fresno has had some cool renderings over the years. They get you all excited about the potential. My current favorite is this one:

fultonproject

A planned mixed-use project that would be on Fulton, across the street from the Tioga Sequoia Beer Garden – I already need to be hanging out on one of those balconies, drinking a Tioga beer, looking back at Tioga from the balcony, yelling to people in the Tioga Beer Garden “Hey, Tioga! Look at me! On this balcony! With my Tioga! Tioga!”

There is also the remodel of Manchester Center, with some updates on the project. They have been working on getting it started since 2013, as this video demonstrates:

Not all of the renderings come to pass

During Mayor Bubba’s time, I can remember a pretty sweet rendering of the Downtown Lake and Riverwalk proposed. But, alas, I can not find it on the local internets. I think that was the same timeline of Bass Pro sniffing around too.

I also remember a render for Running Horse development and country club. Yeah, that only sorta happened. Some guy named Donald Trump came around trying to get the City of Fresno to give him all the things. They wisely did not. I wonder whatever happened to that Trump guy…

We talked a little bit about Fresno renderings on Flowing With Famous this month. Here is a clip of that:

If you have a historically awesome Fresno rendering your memory deems worth mentioning, leave it in the comments.

Indiana Jones and the Lost Mancave Of Fresno

indiana-jones-and-the-lost-mancave-of-fresno
Indiana Jones Mancave in Fresno, CA

 

Just when I started getting over never being invited to Fresno’s Underground Supper Club, I have found a new sorta secret Fresno space nobody has invited me to. It’s called: Temple Of Vroom.

Yes. A private, Indiana Jones themed, event space exists within’ the city of Fresno. And here I am without a white tux.

temple-of-doom-indiana-tux

This place, built by local company Monster City Studios, is amazing. It’s billed as the World’s Biggest Mancave. Full bar, Indiana Jones pinball games, actual movie set pieces, fortune and glory.

So, it is set up like a super rad event space but the owner doesn’t seem to rent it out to make money. He just opens the doors to family, friends and a select few.

I need to be one of those select few.

You see, I am a life-long Indiana Jones nerd. I even have a podcast about Harrison Ford to prove it. So, I can NOT be living in the same town as the ultimate Indy themed bar, and never go in it!

I. Just. CAN’T!

So I need some help here.

I gotta get into this place. Fresno acts like a small town a lot of the time. Everybody seems to know each other. Tell me you know the person that owns this Temple Of Fresno. Then tell them to get in touch with me.

I need somebody local to talk Indiana Jones 5 script theories with and gush over trailers for an animated Indiana Jones show. I feel like the person that owns this space could do that with me.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I am off to write some Indiana Jones fan-fiction that has Dr. Jones exploring the Underground Gardens. He then stumbles onto an ancient artifact, sealed in hardpan, and he’s gotta battle the evil Clovisians to keep it away from Hitler.

Video of the Temple of Vroom:

*Photo by Craig Kohlruss.

The Bay Has Way More Goats Than Fresno

That is a map of every goat in the country. How they were able to count them, you’d have to ask the Wonk Blog.

What is most interesting to me is the amount of goats the Bay Area has. Like, WAY more than Fresno and the Valley does.

And I don’t think it’s a hipster “goats are a natural lawnmower that cuts back on greenhouse gases” kind of thing. San Francisco just likes goats.

Whatcha all doing over there? …With the goats. Mark this as a day San Fransisco is more hick than Fresno.

Don’t Be Lame, Whole Foods Fig Garden, Fresno Needs This

  
The time has come, Whole Foods Fresno. Turn your dumb little cooking demo room into a craft beer bar. 

You know the little area, tucked into the corner of the bread department. The one you rarely use for anything – except for what you are using it as now: a backroom for your bread department:

  

This needs to have beer taps in it, not bread racks.

You may think that a craft beer bar inside a grocery store is not a thing. You would be wrong. It is a thing. In fact, Whole Foods leads the way in grocery store beer bars. They have several.

In fact, the Houston one even has a brewery! And the one down in Del Mar (SD) has really terrible cover bands playing:

Just imagine that inside Fresno’s Whole Foods – only with the Light Thieves playing.

Hybrid drinking holes

This Whole Foods craft beer bar need opens things up to another stellar idea.

On The Perfect Pour we somewhat jokingly floated the idea of having a beer bar inside a hardware store and also how there are not enough sandwich shops with beer.

This is a good start. I wouldn’t mind having a beer with my Gino’s sub. But what other Fresno places could use some beer?

Since a CSU rule prevents Bulldog Stadium from selling beer, that one stays off the list. Also, hair salons recently got the ok to serve alcohol [legally], so that’s taken care of. 

With that, here are some ideas to spice up some local places with a beer bar:

 Jury Duty. Yeah you might get more people to actually show up if there was the promise of one free beer (or wine) per day. Mmmmm, Goverment beerrrr.

Pep Boys. Just using Pep Boys as a place holder, it could be any mechanic in town. I would actually get my oil changed at the mileage Jiffy Lube suggested if I knew I could have a hoppy pale while waiting.

Costco. It would be cheap, as long as you bought two gallons at a time. … on second thought: fuck this. I don’t want to go into Costco any more than I have to.

So lets get that beer bar going, Whole Foods Fresno! Hurry, before Pottery Barn beats you to it. 

If you have a suggestion for a place in Fresno that could use a beer & wine bar, leave it in the comments!

The Car That Definitively Represents Fresno


For Portland it’s the Subaru Outback. For Los Angeles it’s maybe a Mercedes. For San Diego… a Volkswagen. For SF it’s a city bus because where the hell would you park a vehicle anyway?

All fine and good. But what I want to know is, what is the vehicle that most represents Fresno?:

Lowered Honda Civic: Hey. Ya got a Civic. What the hell else is there to do but lower it?

Raised Truck/Oversized Truck: Just pick any make. Ford. Chevy. Dodge. GMC. We got them and we raise them. You know, just in case a thousand-year-flood happens, we are high enough to drive through it. We also have to drive unnecessarily large F150s and take five minutes trying to park it in a ‘compact’ spot. Bonus points if you own a dually but have nothing to tow.

Muscle Car: Yes, Mustangs! I love them and formerly had one. There are plenty of Camaros, Firebirds and Corvettes too. Bullard, for some reason, seems to be the Fresno street to rev these down.


Large SUV: NW Soccer Mom having one? OK, I get it. You’re hauling equipment and children around all the damn time – sometimes kids that are not even yours. Makes sense. Really don’t understand the need for them otherwise. And just like ‘oversized truck guy’, we like to fit them into parking stalls they don’t belong in.

Toyota Corolla: Not a sexy choice but, DAMMIT, Fresno is not sexy. You can be sexy in Fresno, but Fresno is not sexy. Fresno is show up to work on time. Fresno is get me from Point A to B in 10 minutes. Nothing says that like a Corolla.


So yeah. That’s my pick. A Corolla. Fresno is the Toyota Corrola of California. And that is fine. I am good with that. Nothing wrong with that. The word “Corolla” is Latin for “small crown” and that fits us.

Somebody has to be the reliable workhorse of California and be willing to wear a smaller crown. That is a Corolla. That IS Fresno.

What Will Be The First Chain on Fulton Mall-Street?

I don’t really want any chain/corporate places on the Fulton Mall Fulton Street. But it’s coming. You damn well know it. Hell, to some, it’s kinda the point of the whole thing.

And what with Fulton Street asphalting as quick as it can…

…it’s time to talk about this.

There are those that would say, having a Starbucks and a Chipotle open on Fulton Street will signal it is back. To others, the thought makes the stomach turn.

But really, will the first be a Starbucks? Chipotle? Habit? Pieology? Maybe an Apple Store (that actually would be kinda rad):

marcblakeapplestore

Maybe, David Pismos Westwood Yosemite Ranch Tahoe Joe Fansler, could prove he is the Fresno Restaurant Master and open a place on Fulton.

Could Fulton (no CVS doesn’t count) stay all local and no chains? I’m interested in finding out.

(Apple Store graphic by Marc Blake)