Where To Park At Whole Foods Fresno – The Most Important Blog Post You’ll Read In The Next Five Minutes

Since Amazon bought Whole Foods, people are a little worried about Amazon taking over all the things. I would be worried too except Wal Mart already did it, so let’s stop freaking out. Maybe focus on stopping Wal Mart and not worry so much about Whole Foods until they are dealt with.

Anywayyyy, the Fresno Whole Foods, located in Fig Garden Village, may not have a top ranking parking lot, but it is an interesting one.

I know what you’re thinking “Holy shit, this asshole is going to do another parking related post. What the hell is this site and why am I still here!?”

LOOK, BRO! People like this stuff. It’s like, everyday life and crap. It’s fun.

PARKING LOT BREAK DOWN

I’ll get to my favorite parking spot in a second. But first, the worst place to park? The Main Lot. You could also call this the Western Lot:

Oh sure, it looks benign now. But it’s tight and super annoying. You know how many Prius you have to avoid in this area? Look, I can see one in that picture already. I never park in this area.

As an extension to this lot, there is the area next to Habit Burger’s patio. I do sometimes park here, but only when going to Habit and not when I am just shopping at Whole Foods.

BETTER SPOTS

I’m not sure I would walk THIS far (even though I am a big advocate of walking instead of driving around searching for the closest spot), but if you’re feeling adventurous and really don’t want to park next to anyone, get out to the North side as it gets closer to the Wassabbi’s parking. No drama out here (except for a dude that can’t park straight):

This one has chargers. And hey, there is even a car getting charged up as we speak. Way to save some air, dude:

While not all of us can park in those particular stalls, I do like that lot to park in. The area closer to the apartments is a good one because it’s not busy.

But it’s not my favorite area to park. In fact, my favorite is not even an area. It’s one parking stall in particular. It even has its own restroom… Continue reading “Where To Park At Whole Foods Fresno – The Most Important Blog Post You’ll Read In The Next Five Minutes”

When Is The Damn Fulton Street Opening Anyway?


ME: I have grown weary of the continuous string of Fulton Street Mall updates within my social media feed.

VOICE IN MY HEAD: What the hell are you doing posting about Fulton Mall Street then!?

ME: I dunno, bro, I gotta post about something! People expect, you know, something.

VOICE IN HEAD: Jesus, you suck at blogging and this is already boring.

ME: Agreed.

But you see, a big thing happened on Fulton today. To make room for cars they moved the Clock Tower across the “street”. I guess the time had come…

I know this because it was all over local social today.

It was on Facebook:

On Twitter:

On Instagram:


On Google Plus: Just kidding, nobody posts on there anymore.

There is even video:


So now that’s out of the way, the City Of Fresno feels confident enough to announce a Grand Opening date for cruising Fulton Street. That date is October 21st!

You may be like me and have questions about this Fulton Street and its October (yeah, we’ll see) opening. Let’s go through a few:

  • Will there be asphalt? Yes.
  • Will there be room for two cars? Yes.
  • Will there be room for Clovis dually trucks? No.
  • Will the fountains work? Supposedly.
  • Will Parker get in some sort of zany wreck on Fulton Street? One can hope.
  • Will there be parking meters? Yes.
  • Will I have to learn how to parallel park? Yes. It seems that parallel will be the parking style of choice, down Fulton.
  • Will I be able to get drunk on the sidewalk? Hopefully. And if Fieldwork opens up a taproom on Fulton? For sure.
  • Will that old buffass dude with the boombox still be blasting on Fulton? Yes – he will find a way.

So I’ll see ya out there in October, I guess, fighting for a parking spot. Actually, I probably won’t even try and end up parking in front of Tioga like I always do.

*top pic stolen from City of Fresno’s Twitter feed.

Poor River Park Is So Jealous Of Fulton Street Right Now

River Park Stree construction?
River Park Street construction?
Fresnans are getting all giddy about the new Fulton Street… or is it still a mall? …it’s definitely a dirt road of some sort. A dirt road? Well I guess that’s REALLY getting back to what Fulton Street used to be.

Since Fulton is getting the attention it deserves, it’s time to focus on a little known area of Fresno. It’s super indie and hipster, doubt you’ve heard of it. The kids call it: River Park.

Although really they should call it “The Park”. That sounds like just the right amount of douchey.

So yeah, all this mall-street buzz has me feeling all nostalgic for the good old days. The good old days of … THE Park.

I remember my mom bringing me there as a younger person. We used to roam through the old toy store. Remember? Like, the smart kid toy store or whatever, that’s now a Yardhouse?

Or World Sports Cafe? All the drunk times spent in there… drunk off all the Fresno State games I watched, of course. Ahhh, the times.

Oh and that one place on the corner before it became a Vegas style Subway. What the hell was the name of that place? I think it involved elephants or some shit. Yeah. Good memories.

Oh and remember the fountain in front of Edward’s? Ohhhh that fountain:

fountain

Now? It’s just pretty weeds. No water feature at all. So sad. Guess they didn’t want to fix it. No city budget and stuff.

It seems The Park needs a shot of something. Some change. Hell I’m just gonna say it: Open River Park to traffic!

Really though, look at that empty, abandoned store front right in the heart of THE Park:

store front

If only I could drive my car right up to the front, I would SHOP THE FUCK out of that store! No matter what bullshit crap they were selling. But sadly there are those stupid table and chairs getting in my car’s way.

So, Mayor Swear Bear, on your way out, maybe hook The Park up with some of that tasty grant and measure money. If I can’t drive right up to the Five Guys then there is no point in going in and getting their wanna-be In&Out burgers.

And for you old readers of The Fresnan. Yes, I am totally ripping off an old post. But it’s cool because you can call it “re-purposing” and it makes it like, totally, totally fine.