Fresyes Fest: Seven Things I’ll Do

Fresyes Fest! Saturday! I’m totally probably going! Gotta go, right? It’s North America’s best, real estate company festival! Gotta be top eight, at least.

The only problem with the event in the past is that it’s too awesome and successful. Fresno loves things to be free and bumping.

Organizers listened to whiny bloggers and doubled the size this year. There will be more room for activities!!

Alright. So, it’s cool, we’re going. But what time?

I base the time I go on two factors:

  1. Avoiding people.
  2. Set times for the bands I want to see.

Getting there at the beginning is the key to avoiding people. And there are two bands I definitely want to see: Sparklejet and Sharks Of Dance.

Unfortunately they play at totally different times. Here are the set times:

Sharks at 1:15 is excellent! Take in the set, have a couple beers, do an Irish Exit around 2:30 and go about the rest of my day in Fresno.

But wait. Sparklejet does not play until 5:30. That is a long time between shows. Too long when there is beer around. I can’t commit a whole fucking day to one place, I’m not 22.

Damn.

Not sure how to go about this. I guess I could leave and come back at 5:30 but that is unlikely. Once I return to my NW Fresno life, motivating to go back Downtown will be tough.

I dunno. Guess I’ll figure it out the day of. In the meantime.

Here are the seven things!

In addition to the Sparklejet set at 5:30 and/or maybe the Sharks Of Dance set, here is some other stuff I plan to do:

  1. Several times, badly joke to someone “Screw this FresYES Fest, I’m starting a FresNO Fest! As in, a NO Clovis people festival!”
  2. Find a corner to hide. I’d prefer one with fellow nerdy blogger/media or beer geek types, but I’m fine by myself too.
  3. Examine a Fresno inspired vendor booth. My go-to is Casual Glitz.
  4. Make eye contact with someone I know and wonder if I should stop and talk. Or do I just politely nod ”Sup” because they probably want to talk to me less than I want to talk to them.
  5. Try to figure out who are all these people. A lot of folks show up and you are like “Wait. Who is THAT guy? That guy lives in Fresno? And he is with THAT girl? She can’t be from here. What the hell is going on!?!”
  6. Eat tacos. I may even stave off tacos on Friday to make it extra special.
  7. Drink beer. The special release beer for this year’s festival that Tioga made is a hazy IPA called ”Pride of the Valley: Workd Champ IPA” in honor of local boxer and Champion, Jose Ramirez. I am definitely going to have that one. Then maybe I’ll have one more. Then stop, if I drove, or keep drinking if I take a Lyft. Be safe, Future Mikey.

So, no matter what time I figure out, I’ll be there. I’m sure you and half of Fresno will be too. Maybe we can buy each other a beer.

After all, it’s double the free. Double the beer stations. Double the places to hide.

*Great info that answers every question you might have about this year’s event can be found here.

Who The Hell Were All Those Damn People At Fresyes Fest?

Like many of you, I was at Fresyes Fest at Tigoa Sequoia on Saturday. But I came really close to not being there. You saw that line waiting to get in, right? Yeah I saw it too. Forget that noise.

But wait. I gotta blog about something. I guess I will go stand in line and all that crap.

Plus I really like good beer. And it was THE event in Fresno this past weekend.

No it wasn’t the last two nights at Audie’s (although it was pretty epic, I hear). And it wasn’t even Easter. It was Fresyes Fest. Sorry, Jesus, it’s true.

So the main thing I noticed while in there? It wasn’t the food trucks taking up Fulton Street. Or the fine beer TS pours. Or the pro stage. It wasn’t even Swear Bear emptying cups:

File Mar 28, 11 15 10 PM
Photo by Craig Kohlruss (@ck_foto)
It was all the weird, unfamiliar people. Where did all these random Valley folks come from and who are they!?

Seriously though: Who the fuck were they?!  And I use fuck in the sweetest way. Like, when a friend tells you their Great Uncle died last week. “Fuck. I’m sorry man.” That’s how I’m using it. Fuck can still be sweet and pack a punch. It’s versatile like that.

If you looked real close Saturday, you would have seen a few OG bloggers huddled in a shaded corner wondering where the time went. And yes, also still wondering who the fuck these people are.

Fresno FresYes Fest
FresYes Fest crowd at Tioga’s Beer Garden
Old Man Fresno rant!: “Back in my day, the only festival we had was the Fig Gig and that’s the way we liked it! No fancy hipster food trucks. No cute picnic tables inside a nice big Beer Garden. Our “beer garden” was a 50×50 foot taped-off piece of blacktop behind the Applebee’s, and that’s the way we liked it and we were happy to get it!”

That’s right, children. Fig Gig. It… it was something to go to. Technically. And we didn’t have to worry about lines or choices of beer. Sanger Light Bud Light and Bud Ice anyone?

Now you have FresYes Fest. And Grizzly Fest and Whatever Is Happening This Weekend Fest. I think Fresno is doing pretty damn good in the festival department now. Even if I don’t know WHO THE FUCK anybody is at these things.

You don’t know how good you have it, you Fresno Millennials. You have a downtown to be pumped about and a thriving festival scene. There used to be just Bud Light and caution tape.