As we all watch the construction, there has been lots of debating that Fulton Street Mall is not going to be large enough for two cars to travel down it, once they’re done asphalting.
DEBATE OVER! … sorta.
As you can see, the asphalt will be where your car goes. Cement is where your car will pay a meter to park. And yes, there is technically enough room. But barely.
Like, if you look at hot fireman (or woman) walking alongside your car and don’t pay attention to the road for a second BLAMMO!: Fulton Street Fender Bender. BTW, Fulton Street Fender Bender is a really hot local pop-punk band, look for them in 2017.
K-Jewel like, came back, or moved to 105.5 or something and that “Rewind” station got canceled or moved or, I dunno. Podcasting is the new radio so I can’t keep up with these dealings in frequency. I did see that the station owners got a new “One Put” sign. #branding
Since we’re downtown picturing, John Rupe posted a nice shot of Downtown just before dawn:
Grizzly Fest tickets are now a thing you can buy. The whole lineup is not announced yet and it already feels like it’s going to be the biggest Central California music festival of the year. Go Chuk!
Something Not To Forget
And finally, here [arthouse benefit] is something that looks cool and good that I will totally forget about once the day comes and say “Oh shit, that was tonight wasn’t it?! Oh well.”
Respecting the Bee’s People’s Choice Awards, I have my own asshole blogger version. Welcome to The Fresnans. Some random Fresno junk that was SO Fresno for me this year.
Top Street: Bullard. Yep, that’s right, BULLARD! Sorry, I am no longer a Tower District person, I am a NW Fresno person (with much love and respect to South of Shaw), and I used the HELL out of Bullard this year.
Best Fresno Beer: I am tempted to say Tioga’s Sequoia’s “All The Mornings” but I have only had it twice so that really can’t count. Full Circle made a nice New England style IPA. Pine & Palm keeps getting better. But my “go to” has been Mt. Whitney XPA from TS.
Best Coffee: My coffee-maker. Look, man, I don’t have time for that Dutch Bros drive-thru or to find a local place. I need my caffeine quickly and nothing performs better than my coffee-maker and some Coffemate French Vanilla creamer.
Food Dish: Dude. Have you had a L.A. Roll at Edo-Ya before? Holy crap. If you are into sushi AT ALL, this is the greatest thing ever. It took me 20-years of going to Edo-Ya before I tried one (I have been very slow to try sushi) and it is amazings.
Worst Traffic Light: We could be here a while with this one. Pretty much every single one that doesn’t have a turn arrow, for starters – that’s dangerous, ya know. But personally, it’s Fruit & Bullard. If you have ever tried to get through the light while traveling on Fruit, before 8:00 in the morning, you know what I mean. The fucking thing takes five LONG minutes to change and gives no shits that you are late for work.
Best District: I kinda want to say the “Taint District”. What is the taint district? Well, it’s the area around Willow & Nees, Herndon & Willow… you know… the “taint” of Fresno & Clovis (thanks, Bells). House of Pendragon and Kuni Sama did rather well for me this year, in the Taint District. But that’s too North Fresno/Clovis to be cool so I’ll just say South Of Stadium in Downtown Fresno.
Favorite Fig Garden Village place: I went to or picked up food at Jack’s a lot this year. In fact, I suspect they are still in business because of me.
Fresno Band Of The Year: It still has to be Light Thieves. Even with a couple Fierce Creatures reunions, I’m still like “Meh. Give me Light Thieves, dammit!” Following close behind might be Le Wolves. Really like their latest:
Drive Thru Of The Year: No we should not be all about drive-thrus here. But, we are. I spent a lot of time in the Palm Foster Freeze drive-thru, so I will go with that one. The Bullard & West Dutch Bros fascinated me all year but I rarely used it. I miss the Taco Bell drive thru at Barstow & Blackstone.
Local Media Person: I want to say Joshua Tehee of the Fresno Bee but he is a friend and fellow podcast host so that doesn’t seem right. Evan Onstot seems pretty cool so I will choose him. Shout out to Bill Mac getting back into his Bee-ness.
Biggest Fresnan Post: I took a couple or three years off of blogging. This year I could not help but come back. I am glad I did, even though sometimes I have trouble writing about… things. But, by more than double, the most read post of 2016 for The Fresnan is 5 Most Annoying Parking Lots In Fresno.
Tweet Exchange Of The Year: I have never had the pleasure (I assume it’s a pleasure) of meeting Mayor Ashley Swearengin. Maybe one day. I look forward to it. In the mean time, I treasure exchanging Tweets with her that involve my Harrison Ford/Indiana Jones nerdness:
Well, I could go on forever but let’s save something for the 2017 awards. Looking forward to expanding The Fresnan’s reach in 2017 (whatever that means) and following what happens to Fresno (like the Fulton Street opening up) in the coming year.
Thank you so damn much for reading this blog! Cheers!
The initial report I heard was the fire was confined to the back, and it involved a tree, nobody was hurt, and Livingstone’s won’t be closed for more than two or three days. Damn, that sucks, but at least it was just a little thing and everyone is cool.
I have nothing to write for my regular Fresnan Tuesday post.
So, here I am writing to fill the white space in my WordPress editor. Have you noticed yet this is about nothing? Dammit.
Now I’m just going to take random letters and form into fake words in hopes that it will shake loose an idea in my head that I can write a post about: kriskc mastrony lwffeo offing icluse mqwue, tieongon.
Maybe if I just start saying “Fresno” some cool Fresno related idea for a post will come to mind. “Fresno. Fresno. Fresno. Fresno. Fresno. Clovis. Fresno. Fres. No. Fresno. Pinedale. Fresno Fresno FresNOOOO!”
Nope. Still nothing.
I was almost going to do a post around this picture of the old Courthouse in front of the then “new” Courthouse (from Historical Perspectives) because I thought it was cool:
But then it felt kind of boring. So I trashed it.
Welp, still have nothing. This sucks. Doesn’t suck as bad as Clovis, but it still sucks.
The FUSD hotshot guy is bailing or some mess and said “Fresno was a place nobody wanted to be…” He also used the word “damn” when answering a question from the Bee. I’D LIKE TO SEE THE CLOVIS UNIFIED SUPER GET RAW LIKE THAT, DAMMIT!
.@michaelehanson slams @FresnoBee for reporting on FBI investigation, says its unrelated to resignation. "I'm not running from a damn thing"
Oh dude, speaking of the Bee, voting has begun for Peoples Choice Awards. Damn straight I will write a post that rips-off is inspired by these awards. But that will be next Tuesday or the Tuesday after I’ll write that post. Too much work right now.
But really, how can my brain function properly for Fresno posts when a new Star Wars movie comes out Thursday night?! It seems there are tickets left at all the Fresno spots. Still trying to decide what theater will I be taking in my first viewing of Rogue One at. I’m leaning towards Broadway Faire.
This post idea block is getting a bit serious, I’m still wandering here.
Maybe leave a comment about an idea for a post you’ve always wanted to see on The Fresnan. No NO! That makes me look like a hack. Asking people for ideas? What have I become?
How ’bout you just comment on what local theater you’re seeing Rogue One at. Or, what Fresno theater is your favorite to see the big ‘tent pole’ films at?
Wait. There is an idea for a post!: What Fresno theater is your favorite to see event films at? … ahhhhh crap, too late now, have to save that idea for another time.
Welp. Time to go get drunk. I have Dust Bowl “Therapist” triple IPA waiting for me in the fridge and it’s not going to drink itself.
Wanna get a room fired up? Tell everyone “Me-N-Ed’s Pizza is the best pizza in Fresno!” Now let the pineapple bits and canned mushrooms fly!
To be straight with you, I don’t think Me-N-Ed’s is the best pizza in town. That would be Mike’s (West & Shields). Or maybe Mama Mia’s. Popolo’s gets a vote too. But Me-N-Ed’s is still in the mix for me.
I might go as so far as to say I love Me-N-Ed’s. And yes, I get the CANNED mushrooms!
But not everybody feels the same way about our local pizza empire. Some people hate the hell out of it. Think it’s terrible. Never miss an opportunity to bash it. Are disappointed by it.
i'm done with me n ed's. pizza is consistently poor. under cooked so it's still doughy, toppings not incorporated into the cheese.
I understand missing Me-N-Ed’s. There was a time when I lived in Los Angeles. Lakewood, to be exact. One day, to my surprise and delight, I stumbled upon a Me-N-Ed’s. Whaaaaaa? All the way down in Lakewood? It was like having a Fresno embassy in my new foreign town.
Why Do Fresnans Hate On It So Much?
Is it because you have to pay for ranch? Ranch has become the most valuable commodity in Fresno, thanks to Me-N-Ed’s. It’s true. Even more valuable than Bobby Salazar salsa.
Do people hate the crust bubbles? You know those bubbles. No other kind of pizza has crust bubbles like Me-N-Ed’s.
Maybe it’s because this “Me” character is so secretive? We know this Ed guy – well, at least we have a name. But who is “Me”? What does he stand for? What are his thoughts on the Fulton Mall? Will he ride the BRT? Could he have stopped rust from getting into NE Fresno water?
WE DON’T KNOW BECAUSE HE ONLY REFERS TO HIMSELF AS “ME”! Show yourself, Me, if that is your real name. Really though, have you seen the glare he sends out? Something is going on there:
We Must Accept This Pizza
Like it or not, Me-N-Ed’s is the pizza of Fresno. Of the Valley. It is a unique style. Dare I say “Central Valley style” pizza. It is like us; filled with crust bubbles, canned products and served with a condiment you have to pay for.
Did that make any sense? No? Well, fuck it. It’s just pizza. Eat it. Love it or hate it. Me-N-Ed’s is our cross to bear. Or cross to eat with a couple sides of ranch.
I found myself asking…myself the other day “Does Fresno have Airbnbs?” Well of course they do, silly. But, you see, I’ve never stayed in one. Don’t really know what it’s about outside of the obvious: people renting out their house or a room in their house to random people for a couple nights.
Sure, tourist areas have them. SF has them because they can charge a shit-ton of money. But Fresno? Hey, why the hell not!? We are close to all the cool National Parks like the National Park Formally Named Yosemite. Plus we have viral burritos.
Some Interesting Fresno Airbnbs
This one is called a “Temptation in the Tower“: A “temptation” in the Tower, eh? Sounds like my horizons might be broadened if I stay there. And for only $37 a night? That’s a bargain.
Also, I saw there is one for $865 a night. What is that all about? Sadly it dropped off and I can’t find it now. Damn curious to know where I could stay in Fresno that would cost me $865. A night at Bubba’s house where you get to play Chief Gillespie and Mayor Autry plays, well, Bubba? Worth it.
Christmas Tree Lane’s first walk night is Saturday night. You might want to look into this one. Good place to party from.
Jordan’s Loft (pictured at the top of this post) is in the old Security Bank Building. Nice views of Fulton Mall Street construction. Might be kinda cool to stay in for a couple nights if you’re looking to try out loft living.
One local Airbnb I think I’ll pass on: the “spacious” couch in CLOVIS with the table cloth for a blanket. No matter how cheap or nice the renter is, there is no damn way I am paying to sleep on a couch in Clovis…in fact, you should pay ME to sleep on your Clovis couch!
Truth: I Probably Will Never Stay In One
Although it feels kinda safer testing the Airbnb waters in your hometown, I can’t see me doing this.
For one, I definitely don’t want to have to talk to the owner or hang out with them in the house. Having to manage some small talk or run into them while trying to find the bathroom in my Star Wars underwear. Sounds too damn weird.
But hey, maybe if I’m outta cash and out of town, I could stay in an Airbnb someday. But put a room up in my house? Hell na. Hell. NO! I don’t want one of these nightmares:
A dude walking around your living room, wearing a ponytail? Fuuuuuuck that man. Scary.