11 Things I’m Thinking While Waiting For My Chipotle Burrito To Be Made

chipotle line

Living in Fresno, it always feels so wrong to go to a chain place to get anything Mexican food related. We make viral burritos and we are the Taco Capital of North America, after all.

That said. Chipotle is quick, tasty and consistent. So even us Fresnans get tempted to go in. My dumbass included.

Here are some things that pop into my head while watching my burrito get built – usually at the Fig Garden location:

  • Oh, this guy again [burrito maker]. He’s cool, makes a good burrito. I wonder if he secretly hates me.
  • Are they ever going to change this industrial airport hanger look? I still like it okay, just wondering.
  • It only takes 5 seconds for the burrito maker to forget what meat I want in the burrito. Steak. I said steak.
  • The cooks seem to have the better gig, meesa thinks. No dealing with us asshole customers asking “Can I have that on the side of… the side and extra of the other thing? Also, no chicken on my chicken burrito, please!”
  • Is the burrito maker starter person the Top Dog in the restaurant? Like, the job to ascend to? Who is the manager here, because I can’t tell.
  • I think the guy behind me is trying to intimidate me to order faster by getting in my personal space. Chill out, bro, you’ll get your double white rice when your time comes.
  • Ha! Corn salsa. Why do people have the corn salsa? WHY!? Such a waist. You totally could of had the good salsa: Pico de gallo. Fun to say, “Picooo de Gallllloooo”.
  • I still don’t know if I have to pay for the guacamole on the side or is it included since I got a burrito but did not have it actually put into said burrito. Whatever, I’ll pay extra. I pay for extra paper bags all the time, like a boss!
  • Does anyone actually get a beer here? I’m a heavy beer drinker and I never have. I need to change that. #goals
  • How do they distribute the tip jar money? Do the cooks get any? Does it go to some sorta fund for an employee pizza party?
  • The new chorizo meat does not look right.

I would feel a lot better about myself if I exclusively burrito-ed local. But I think the occasional Chipotle visit is here to stay. At least they have a very solid Social Media Manager on Twitter to make me feel a little better:

*photo source.

Only Fresno Can Make A Steak n Shake Opening Controversial

steaknshake

A little late on this post but… I need to talk about this Steak ‘n Shake that is being built in Fresno on Kings Canyon. Yep, Kings Canyon.

This is a new-to-Fresno burger chain that is out of Normal, Illinois. It has some cult following to it, sorta similar to In & Out and White Castle. It looks like a Johnny Rockets meets Five Guys to me.

I have never eaten or heard about the place before, but I see they got something called the Cheddar Cheesy that I will be all about trying:

cheddar cheesy

The most interesting thing about this place coming to Fresno is not the food. It’s the location. A chain with some buzz around it is being built in Sunnyside area and not on or North of Shaw. About fucking time.

Of course the Internet has issue with the location

Not everyone on Facebook is down with it being at Kings Canyone & Peach. An example:

beth

Well, Beth. That deserves some replies. Don’t you think?

wow-beth

I love the last comment from Rosie, “Wow Beth!”  … Wow Beth. I really like saying that, “WOW, Beth!” I think I will be using that in my everyday life from now on. Whenever somebody does something that’s surprising or controversial or something unexpected happens, I will be saying “Wow, Beth” as a response. I hope you will join me.

Oh but Beth was not alone. There were others. Like, John:

steak-n-shake-facebook

There is a lot more than those but you get the idea.

The Sunnyside Area Deserves Nice Things

Hey, a burger joint in a Wal-Mart Center might not be considered a “nice thing” but it’s still cool.

The Sunnyside area deserves this. They were supposed to get a new “River Park Style” shopping area and that has never happened.

But if you still feel like your Northeast Flowvis area is “underserved”, you can always look into franchising a Steak n’ Shake on Willow & Nees for yourself.

Hopefully, this new Sunnyside burger joint will have Steak ‘n Shake suits like the old ones:

Don’t forget: “Wow, Beth.” This is a thing. It has begun.

5 Worthless Salad Toppings At Fresno’s Whole Foods

WHOLE FOOD SALAD BAR FRESNO

This is going to offend you. One of your favorite salad fixings is going to get dumped on. I’m sorry, but I must keep it real. Blogger code and all.

So hold on to your croutons, here are my 5 Most Worthless Whole Foods Fresno Salad Bar Choices:

5.WHATEVER THIS WAS:

whatever

You gotta figure it was something good since it is empty. But I bet it sucked.

4.TIE: BROCCOLI & PEAS. No. Just, no. I’m a grown adult and I no longer have to eat my broccoli or peas (like I ever did), let alone willfully pay to put it on my salad.

3.THIS JUNK:

junk

Alright so this stuff may not technically be part of the salad toppings. Controversial pick for sure. But I’ve seen people put this crap on their salads so it totally counts.

2.RED ONIONS CABBAGE:

RED ONION

It’s just used for color and you don’t need a build-a-salad to look pretty. It’s a salad that YOU made, it just needs to be functional. The salad is riding in a barely functional cardboard box. It’ll look like crap once it finishes your journey home anyway.
Continue reading “5 Worthless Salad Toppings At Fresno’s Whole Foods”

This Popolo’s Pizza problem needs to get sorted out, Fresno

popolo's pizza front

UPDATE: Consider this sorted out; statement from Popolo’s:

We’re excited to announce, that Popolo’s Pizza & More! will be relocating to 7835 N. Palm Ave. #106, off of Palm & Nees in Fresno!

As saddened as we are leaving our Blackstone & Herndon location that we have occupied for almost 31 years, we feel that the matters we’ve been faced with these last couple of months, has forced us as a family to make this decision.

Our new location will have a large banquet room, patio, arcade and a beer & wine bar. With relocating to Park Place, we will be able to keep our existing delivery area & expand it, and also still be close to our previous location where our customers who live or/and work close to the area or travel from across town can find us a short drive up the street.

We want to say “THANK YOU!” to all of our amazing family, friends and customers for all of your support & patience during this difficult time. We will keep everyone updated as much as possible for all of the new & exciting things to come!

Thank you,
The Greene Family!
Popolo’s Pizza & More!
New location coming June 2016!!!!!!!!!!

[ORIGINAL POST]:
You are not going to take this lying down in your soft, sinking booth, are you, Fresnans? Popolo’s Pizza is temporarily closed. My breadstick craving gizzard is weeping. No salad bar. No pizza. No tube televisions to watch. No booth dividers to remove. Checking the taps in the waiting area is pointless. POINTLESS! *drops to knees* WHY, GOD, WHY!?!

It apparently has something to do with the building’s foundation. The floor of Popolo’s currently looks like this:

Popolo's Pizza floor

Did you see that!? The gap between the floor and earth? What is there like a hidden creek running beneath Pop’s? There is not supposed to be a crawl space in that building. So yeah, I can see why it might not be wise to be open with that lurking underneath.

Luckily they don’t own the building so it’s not on them to fix it. But they are not making any money right now and I’m am sitting around waiting to give them mine in exchange for a Van Ness Extension (hold the peppers).

This. This is serious guys. Oh these sad lonely booths:

empty popolo's pizza booth

I would look damn good sitting in one of them. Proudly making a plate of potato skins disappear and ordering another Tioga Sequoia XPA #DrinkLocalBro.

So what’s the update on the place? Let’s get this figured out, dammit! Well I got this from Popolo’s Pizza themselves:
Continue reading “This Popolo’s Pizza problem needs to get sorted out, Fresno”