11 Things I’m Thinking While Waiting For My Chipotle Burrito To Be Made

chipotle line

Living in Fresno, it always feels so wrong to go to a chain place to get anything Mexican food related. We make viral burritos and we are the Taco Capital of North America, after all.

That said. Chipotle is quick, tasty and consistent. So even us Fresnans get tempted to go in. My dumbass included.

Here are some things that pop into my head while watching my burrito get built – usually at the Fig Garden location:

  • Oh, this guy again [burrito maker]. He’s cool, makes a good burrito. I wonder if he secretly hates me.
  • Are they ever going to change this industrial airport hanger look? I still like it okay, just wondering.
  • It only takes 5 seconds for the burrito maker to forget what meat I want in the burrito. Steak. I said steak.
  • The cooks seem to have the better gig, meesa thinks. No dealing with us asshole customers asking “Can I have that on the side of… the side and extra of the other thing? Also, no chicken on my chicken burrito, please!”
  • Is the burrito maker starter person the Top Dog in the restaurant? Like, the job to ascend to? Who is the manager here, because I can’t tell.
  • I think the guy behind me is trying to intimidate me to order faster by getting in my personal space. Chill out, bro, you’ll get your double white rice when your time comes.
  • Ha! Corn salsa. Why do people have the corn salsa? WHY!? Such a waist. You totally could of had the good salsa: Pico de gallo. Fun to say, “Picooo de Gallllloooo”.
  • I still don’t know if I have to pay for the guacamole on the side or is it included since I got a burrito but did not have it actually put into said burrito. Whatever, I’ll pay extra. I pay for extra paper bags all the time, like a boss!
  • Does anyone actually get a beer here? I’m a heavy beer drinker and I never have. I need to change that. #goals
  • How do they distribute the tip jar money? Do the cooks get any? Does it go to some sorta fund for an employee pizza party?
  • The new chorizo meat does not look right.

I would feel a lot better about myself if I exclusively burrito-ed local. But I think the occasional Chipotle visit is here to stay. At least they have a very solid Social Media Manager on Twitter to make me feel a little better:

*photo source.