Do Not Camp At Busy Fresno Restaurants

The other morning I went to cozy Fresno breakfast spot, Benaddiction. Really great food, good service. The most interesting breakfast menu in Fresno for sure and arguably the best breakfast. You will order too much food, I’m telling you right now.

The problem with Benaddiction is: too damn small.

It’s tiny. Mini pancake tiny. Like, if you opened up a restaurant in your first apartment and there is no bedroom, tiny.

This is not what the post is about.

I’m not here to complain about Benaddiction. They are taking steps to find a bigger space and they are working well with what they have. I’m here to tell “campers” to go the hell home when they are done eating.

Campers are the people that hangout at their table and chitchat even though they are done eating and paying.

I suppose this is fine when the place is not busy and nobody is waiting for a table. But Benaddiction is ALWAYS busy and there is usually a 20 to 40 minute wait for a table.

I Witnessed Camping Myself

When last I was there, we waited 30 minutes for a table. When we sat down there was a table of two women finishing their meal.

By the time we were done with our breakfast and leaving, those same two women were still there talking. Dicks.

Look up and read the room, people. You can talk about what you bought at Target yesterday when you are in the parking lot.

That said, Pro Tip: You can do call-ahead seating at Benadictions using your Yelp app via their Yelp page.

Just don’t abuse your table time, k!?

This Is A Garbage Post

Enough! Last straw, Creepy Truck Guy that picks through my recycling at night. You wanna take stuff out, that’s fine. Just don’t start mixing, dammit!

One trash-day morning before leaving for work, I noticed some of my recycling on the ground instead of in the bin. I stop to pick it up and then notice a whole grip of recycling material had been “transferred” over into my grey garbage bin.

Obviously, scavengers had been on the street last night and made their search through the blue bin easier by tossing recycling into the grey bin, then leaving it there.

This Is Not A Rant About Scavengers.

Normally I don’t have a problem with people picking recycling out of my bin. If you want to work that hard to nab (what I assume is) fifty cents worth of cans and plastic bottles that I’m too lazy to bring to the recycling center, have at it.

But when you start compromising the green or grey bins with items that were intended for the recycling bin? Fuck you.

Really I am just pissed because you just made more work for me. I am going to pick through my own trash and save my cans now. Yep, no soup for you, buddy.

I go through a lot of cans too. The shift to packaging more craft beer in cans is definitely reflected in my blue bin. Big revenue hit there, pal.

(Is it big revenue? I have no idea.)

Will Creepy Truck Guy get this message?

Doubt it. I even started spacing my blue bin WAY away from the other bins in hopes that he will think “Gosh. I must have really upset this person. I will be more thoughtful next time.”

Now I have the most passive-aggressive bins on the street.

The reality is, I will work my way up to about three bags worth of cans, decide that it will be too much hassle to bring them somewhere and just put them in the blue been anyway.

For now though? I am a bin asshole.

Uncle Harry’s Closing Will Not Stop Me Going To Fig Garden Village. Not Yet.

Maybe you heard that Uncle Harry’s Fig Garden Village location has closed. Not because the location wasn’t doing well or because Uncle Harry’s didn’t want to renew their lease. They did.

But the owners of Fig Garden, based in New York, wanted them out in favor of some national high-end paper store (wedding invites and such). Uncle Harry’s was not shy in posting about this in their window:

This Is Not The First Time

A very similar thing happened to the Ripe Tomato (you remember that place?) when Pieology wanted their spot, their local ass was encouraged to leave by the owners.

This has got some people fired up about these big city folk chipping away at the local charm of Fig Garden Village. I’m not real happy with it either.

But I am not at a point where I will protest by not shopping or eating at Fig Garden. Not yet. Hell, Jack’s Urban Eats just got taps, bro!! How can I give up on it now?!

But there is a tipping point somewhere. A line of demarcation. A point at which they push out one too many local shops in favor of a national chain.

Will it be Wassabi’s? The Elbow Room? Hungry Bear? Patio Cafe? Yeah, maybe it would be Patio Cafe. I’m really not sure. But they are starting to piss me off and a lot of other people too.

What would the tipping point be for you? Is there one?

Joshua Tehee (of the Fresno Bee) and I have a discussion about this on this month’s Flowing With Famous podcast. Listen in here.

Finally. A Guide To Help Us Be Like The Palm Avenue Bikers


I have a bike (pictured). It can get dusty. But I have one. It’s just a fixie. Which means I was cool 6 years ago. And now? Well, I have a bike only good for beer & Redbox runs. And I can only stop Flintstones style.

I need a new bike. A road bike. I may even want to be like one of those people with the bike outfits, riding down Palm Ave. But it looks like a whole thing, ya know? Like work or something.

Well thanks to IFHT, there is an entertaining step by step guide to show me and you how we can be like a Palm Ave Biker:

I definitely need a Recovery Beer just watching that.

If you’re ready to start adding road bikes and putting “yourself” on display riding Palm Avenue, make sure to hit up local places like Steven’s, Sunnyside, Fresno Schwinn, Rubber SoulHerb BauerCyle Path, and get riding.

Places In Fresno That Need Better Beer!

One of the problems with being a beer geek (me) is, you get spoiled with good beer. So spoiled that it becomes almost impossible to drink mainstream beer.

Plus it gets very tiring looking down your nose at people drinking pisswater. [insert laughing emoji here]

A beer geek tends to push eating-out choices to places that serve good beer. But you can’t do that every time. Compromises must be made. Food wins out over good beer. On occasion.

So here are some Fresno spots I often wish had better beer.

Edo-Ya. It’s hard not to make this all about Japanese and Mexican restaurants because they are kind of the worst when it comes to beer choices.  Unless you are at Kuni Sama. That is actually a legit beer geek place AND it’s in the Taint District!

Casa Corona – Bullard & West. I kinda love the bar there (even though it skews old). It has not changed since I was a kid (not that I drank there when I was a kid, just saying). And it didn’t even change when it switched from El Torro. But DAMMIT their beer selection sucks a King Burrito.

Sequoia’s – Tower District. KIDDING! Totally kidding. It’s fine, it’s fine, the beer is fine. It’s fine. Totally fine.

Maroo. Same problem Edo-Ya has. But they do have Hite beer, which is fun to say and order. “Hite! I’ll have a HITE!”

Heroes Comics and Mossette’s Baseball Cards.  All my nerd things in one place. I know they don’t have a liquor license, just wishful thinking. To be able to hang out in these places with a bar and a good beer? Dream fulfillment.

Doghouse Grill. Any chance I have to rip that place, I take it. I have not been there in some time, but I’m guessing their crappyass selection has not changed.

Home Depot. Okay, again I am including a place that doesn’t serve alcohol but I really hate going to this place. Having a beer while I’m trying to find the proper dishwasher hose clamp, would really lessen the hate. Plus, when I have to come back for the inevitable 2nd or 3rd time (because I did not get the right size of clamp the first time), I’ll enjoy that 2nd beer even more.

Please leave your choice in the comments because I would love to hear them.

Speaking of beer, there has been a lot of local beer talk lately by the Fresno Bee. You may want to check out their dedicated beer section. We even had them on The Perfect Pour, a couple weeks back, to talk about it.

Let your ears have a listen. Cheers!:

 

Palmdon, Jackrabbits, Fig Orchards and El Torre Chingon

Palmdon

Palmdon Drive? Palm. don. Can we agree it’s the worst street name in Fresno? I get it, I get it, it’s a blend of Palm & Herndon. Yeah well it’s terrible.

I don’t think it’s a legit street name. When you look it up in Google Maps, it will show where Palmdon Drive is but it won’t place the name on the street. I think the street sign holds as much validity as an “Only Bulldog Fans Can Park Here” novelty sign.

This block used to be a fig orchard. NW Fresno used to be filled with fig orchards. They are all but gone now. I lived in the neighborhood behind it when I was a kid and that fig orchard was our park.

I used to hit golf balls, play wiffleball, let my dogs run around and attempt to catch jack rabbits, and even hide from tween life. In later years it became a place to have “fig parties” but that’s a story for another time.

Now it’s just offices, car dealerships, Starbucks and of course, the Univison Tower:

The Tower

Back in 2009 we dubbed it: “El Torre Chingon” (That Fucking Tower).

Not really sure why I feel like it would be better if there were still fig orchards around. It just feels wrong that they are all gone. Particularly this one.

Naming the street “Palmdon” doesn’t help.