A Motto That Would Make Just As Much Sense As “In God We Trust” For Fresno City Chamber

So Fresno City Councilman, Gary Bredefeld, apparently has the time to request the City Of Fresno ignore the whole “separation of church and state” thing and vote that the Fresno motto be changed to “In God We Trust.”

Jesus. [smh]

Do we all really need to be thinking about worthless stuff like this? Are things that boring around council chambers? That’s not even an appropriate motto for Fresno.

I can think of some other ones that would make just as much damn sense as “In God We Trust” for Fresno. Let’s see a few.

CITY OF FRESNO:

  • In Grapes & Almonds We Trust.
  • Live and Let Die.
  • Yes. Tri-Tip Is An Actual Cut Of Meat.
  • Tornado Free Since 1976.
  • We Have Water Meters Now.
  • Just Win, Baby.
  • This Area Is Patrolled By Turner Security.
  • Tacos Next 17 Exits.
  • The Force Is Stong In Our Family.
  • Most Of Our White People Moved To Boise.
  • You’re Right Back In The Mess.
  • Make Mine A Double.
  • Snakes. Why Did It Have To Be Snakes?
  • Cher Slept Here.
  • Home Of The Uncle You Barely See.
  • Welcome To Flavor Town.
  • You’d Think This Is Paula Abdul’s Hometown But It’s Not.
  • Traffic Signals Are Just Suggestions.
  • Pat Hill’s Fu-Manchu Controls the Northern Part of the City.
  • Same As It Ever Was.
  • Roth or Hagar? We Say Hagar.
  • I Can See The Mountains Today.
  • We’re As Confused As You Are.
  • Hey Bud, Let’s Party.
  • No Spoilers! We Missed The Walking Dead Last Night.
  • Our Mom Thinks We’re Pretty Cool.
  • We Haven’t Even Eaten Lunch Yet.

Hey we’re having fun here and I don’t mean to bash good God fearing folk. But a statement about God (as cool a dude as he is) is just not needed here in the City Council Chambers.

Your Jesus time and energy would be much better spent feeding hungry people, supporting those less fortunate, backing your fellow church member during personal tough times and helping Fresno in other ways.

So thanks but no thanks.

Check out Gary Bredefeld talking about this subject on Even Onstot’s show over at KSEE 24. I haven’t watched it yet and I doubt God has either.

I Have Fresno Blogging Block. Send Help.

I have nothing to write for my regular Fresnan Tuesday post.

So, here I am writing to fill the white space in my WordPress editor. Have you noticed yet this is about nothing? Dammit.

Now I’m just going to take random letters and form into fake words in hopes that it will shake loose an idea in my head that I can write a post about: kriskc mastrony lwffeo offing icluse mqwue, tieongon.

Fuck. Nothing.

Maybe if I just start saying “Fresno” some cool Fresno related idea for a post will come to mind. “Fresno. Fresno. Fresno. Fresno. Fresno. Clovis. Fresno. Fres. No. Fresno. Pinedale. Fresno Fresno FresNOOOO!”

Nope. Still nothing.

I was almost going to do a post around this picture of the old Courthouse in front of the then “new” Courthouse (from Historical Perspectives) because I thought it was cool:

Fresno County Courthouse construction, Nov. 1965
Fresno County Courthouse construction, Nov. 1965

But then it felt kind of boring. So I trashed it.

Welp, still have nothing. This sucks. Doesn’t suck as bad as Clovis, but it still sucks.

The FUSD hotshot guy is bailing or some mess and said “Fresno was a place nobody wanted to be…” He also used the word “damn” when answering a question from the Bee. I’D LIKE TO SEE THE CLOVIS UNIFIED SUPER GET RAW LIKE THAT, DAMMIT!

Oh dude, speaking of the Bee, voting has begun for Peoples Choice Awards. Damn straight I will write a post that rips-off is inspired by these awards. But that will be next Tuesday or the Tuesday after I’ll write that post. Too much work right now.

But really, how can my brain function properly for Fresno posts when a new Star Wars movie comes out Thursday night?! It seems there are tickets left at all the Fresno spots. Still trying to decide what theater will I be taking in my first viewing of Rogue One at. I’m leaning towards Broadway Faire.

This post idea block is getting a bit serious, I’m still wandering here.

Maybe leave a comment about an idea for a post you’ve always wanted to see on The Fresnan. No NO! That makes me look like a hack. Asking people for ideas? What have I become?

How ’bout you just comment on what local theater you’re seeing Rogue One at. Or, what Fresno theater is your favorite to see the big ‘tent pole’ films at?

Wait. There is an idea for a post!: What Fresno theater is your favorite to see event films at? … ahhhhh crap, too late now, have to save that idea for another time.

Welp. Time to go get drunk. I have Dust Bowl “Therapist” triple IPA waiting for me in the fridge and it’s not going to drink itself.

The River Park Traffic Circle: Fresno’s Lifelong Challenge

River Park Traffic Circle

River Park is 19 years old. Yep, hard to believe. Google said it so it must be true. Love it or hate, it’s a part of us now. All of it.

So River Park is pretty old and we are STILL learning how to maneuver through the damn traffic circle! Really though, when you drive up to it it’s like “Here we go. I wonder what’s going to happen this time.”

PRO TIP #1

Do NOT stop once you are in the traffic circle. Are you in the traffic circle? Good. That’s YOUR traffic circle now. Anybody that tries to come inside it is a trespasser and should yield to your power. They are your bitch.

PRO TIP #2

See pro tip #1. Or in other words: yield to the person already in the traffic circle. Remember, they are your King for the next few seconds and what they say goes.

That’s it. That’s all you need to remember. But if you still need help…

CLASS! Pay attention:

But hey. Don’t feel so dumb, Fresno. We are not the only ones that get confused with traffic circles. At least I’ve yet to see somebody going the wrong way like some dumbass Canadian hoser, ey?:

I’m going to stop there with the traffic circles videos. It can take you down a weird rabbit hold. Like this traffic circle video that’s oddly sensual:

Really I’d like to see everyone just have fun with the River Park Circle. It’s like a ride. Have fun. Just remember to yield when appropriate.

Listen To This: Eating Out Fresno – Dorktown #120

Dorktown120

This one won’t make the Podcast Hall Of Fame but we’re posting in anyway, because, well, we had fun. The Dorktown gang hangs out and talks all kinds of local and what nots:

  • Laser Quest must be a front.
  • Tioga Sequoia Brewing has hooked Bells.
  • A review (sorta) of the Catacomb Party and the Fulton Mall.
  • Forit Or Againit: Bringing the COCO Bobblehead to Fresno.
  • Fresno Home and Garden Show: Horrid.
  • Castillo’s impresses.
  • MUSIC BREAK: Werebear “Night Of The Werebear”
  • Podcaster advice.
  • BEER DORK: Beer mules and Dust Bowl Brewing.
  • REMOTE: Spokeasy’s.
  • FONZY EYYS!

LISTEN HERE: Dorktown120.mp3


More Notes:

Dead In 60’s Catacomb Party video
.
Ear Candy podcast
.
FUSE Fest
.

Support Tioga Sequoia Brewing because they are big supporters of Craft Beer, Downtown Fresno and Fresno podcasts!

Check out Dorktown’s home, leave a kickass review on iTunes, like their Face and Tweet’um… you know… if you have the time or whatever.

Listen To This: Dorktown Podcast #115 – Bubba’s Gizzard

DorktownFlier115

Straight from Fresno to your tainted soul, it's the latest episode of Dorktown Podcast. Expect some random talk about:

  • Firebaugh and CB radio podcasting.
  • Fresno concert talk.
  • Stray Clovis bike racers and soul killing marathon.
  • The Podcast Gods speak.
  • Wooded Oregon strip clubs.
  • DORKLINE: Reid call stirs a music debate.
  • MUSIC BREAK: The Mallard.
  • CALL IN: Bubba's Gizzard.
  • OR GAME: Pyramid stye.
  • FONZY EYYYS!
  • Mikey loses his shit.

LISTEN BY DOWNLOADING (or streaming) HERE!:

Bubbasgizzarddorktown115.mp3

Check out Dorktown's home, leave a kickass rating on iTunes, like their Face and Tweet'um… you know… if you have the time or whatever.

 

Listen To This!: Dorks In 60 Years – Dorktown Podcast #114

DorkIn60Years

It happened once over at DI60Y: two local fowl-mouthed and swarthy podcasters coming together on one episode. You would have thought these two would've learned from that episode never to 'cross streams' again – too much shit talking for one person's ears to take.

They did not learn. In this episode of Dorktown, a majority of the DI60Y crew joins Bells, Mikey and Producer B in the Dork studio for a meta local podcast. There's talk of:

  • Bullard parties.
  • Podcast history lessons.
  • DI60Y's beginnings.
  • The crews current local video project, Who Eats Brunch.
  • How do you get free beer?
  • REMOTE: More meta podcasting with the Married Gamers.
  • Local celeb loving and bashing.
  • Will DI60Y make a Swede this time?
  • FONZY EYYS.

Everybody has regrets after this one. You should totally listen.

To hear this, stream or download this file:
DorksIn60Years.mp3

Click some WEB videos and help DI60Y out.

Dorktown's Facebook. Dorktown's Twitter.
Check Dorktown on iTunes and maybe leave a review or something.