Catching Up On Fresno

Sorry, loyal Fresnan reader! I missed my self-imposed Tuesday night deadline for a new post. I was deep in the Oregon woods with no Internet. It was relaxing and annoying all at once.

So, come with me as I try to find some Fresno that I missed.

Tacos!
The now nationally famous, Taco Truck Throwdown, happened. It can be considered the tent-pole event that proves we are the Taco Capital of the United States. Joey Chestnut ate many, others dropped a lot of salsa on the ground.

High-Speed Rail!
Will Fresno become a bedroom community for the Silicon Valley? We shall see starting in 2025. I foresee a mix of our own organic tech community (see: Bitwise) and San Jose commuters. Personally, I will just use it to see shows at Shoreline. (pic above a rendering of Fresno’s station)

Booze In All The Wrong Places!
With the City Council wasting time being overly concerned about legal pot dispensaries, they conveniently forget about the real problem in Fresno. That problem is too many liquor stores South of Shaw.

The last thing a rough neighborhood needs is a liquor store. Please work on this problem, City Of Fresno, and don’t waste time with scaring people into thinking a few pot dispensaries would EVEN COME REMOTELY CLOSE to being as bad as an ugly liquor store on every corner.

River Park Became The Red Waste!
A fire plane “malfunctioned” and dumped fire retardant all over NE Fresno, including River Park. This bit of news somehow made it past my lack of Internet while on vacation because funny always makes it through.

Alright, I guess this isn’t funny if your business or car got messed up, so I am truly sorry for those folk. But when I heard that a fire plane dumped red junk on River Park, I did laugh.

Gary Bredefeld Embarrassing Fresno Again!
Northeast Fresno truly has the Councilman it deserves. Determined to do and say as many dumb things that he can within a year, Breders believes all City workers with a weapons permit should bring their gun to work with them. WHAT A FUN WORK ENVIRONMENT!

So now the sketchy dude we were already worried about coming into work wanting to shoot the place up one day can constantly walk around the office ready to mow me down at the first sign of stress and it’s perfectly legal!

This idea made national news, if you somehow think Breitbart is actually news. Sadly? for Gary B, Fresno already allows select vetted workers to carry their penis enlargements guns, which is a little uncomfortable to just now learn. Research much, Gary?

That Is Enough For Now.
If I missed something you think I’d find interesting, feel free to leave it in the comments. Thanks for being here!

I Have Fresno Blogging Block. Send Help.

I have nothing to write for my regular Fresnan Tuesday post.

So, here I am writing to fill the white space in my WordPress editor. Have you noticed yet this is about nothing? Dammit.

Now I’m just going to take random letters and form into fake words in hopes that it will shake loose an idea in my head that I can write a post about: kriskc mastrony lwffeo offing icluse mqwue, tieongon.

Fuck. Nothing.

Maybe if I just start saying “Fresno” some cool Fresno related idea for a post will come to mind. “Fresno. Fresno. Fresno. Fresno. Fresno. Clovis. Fresno. Fres. No. Fresno. Pinedale. Fresno Fresno FresNOOOO!”

Nope. Still nothing.

I was almost going to do a post around this picture of the old Courthouse in front of the then “new” Courthouse (from Historical Perspectives) because I thought it was cool:

Fresno County Courthouse construction, Nov. 1965
Fresno County Courthouse construction, Nov. 1965

But then it felt kind of boring. So I trashed it.

Welp, still have nothing. This sucks. Doesn’t suck as bad as Clovis, but it still sucks.

The FUSD hotshot guy is bailing or some mess and said “Fresno was a place nobody wanted to be…” He also used the word “damn” when answering a question from the Bee. I’D LIKE TO SEE THE CLOVIS UNIFIED SUPER GET RAW LIKE THAT, DAMMIT!

Oh dude, speaking of the Bee, voting has begun for Peoples Choice Awards. Damn straight I will write a post that rips-off is inspired by these awards. But that will be next Tuesday or the Tuesday after I’ll write that post. Too much work right now.

But really, how can my brain function properly for Fresno posts when a new Star Wars movie comes out Thursday night?! It seems there are tickets left at all the Fresno spots. Still trying to decide what theater will I be taking in my first viewing of Rogue One at. I’m leaning towards Broadway Faire.

This post idea block is getting a bit serious, I’m still wandering here.

Maybe leave a comment about an idea for a post you’ve always wanted to see on The Fresnan. No NO! That makes me look like a hack. Asking people for ideas? What have I become?

How ’bout you just comment on what local theater you’re seeing Rogue One at. Or, what Fresno theater is your favorite to see the big ‘tent pole’ films at?

Wait. There is an idea for a post!: What Fresno theater is your favorite to see event films at? … ahhhhh crap, too late now, have to save that idea for another time.

Welp. Time to go get drunk. I have Dust Bowl “Therapist” triple IPA waiting for me in the fridge and it’s not going to drink itself.

How To Never Make Money Blogging

keyboard

The luxurious world of blogging is real. The rumors are true. All the money and fame you assume happens to bloggers? I’m here to tell you it happens. Girls. Free shit. Best tables at restaurants. Passes to all the cool shows.

Of course I’m lying. None of those things are true.

Being a blogger is the lowest rung of the cool person pole. And that’s OK. That’s why I like it. Apparently I love spending hours of personal time trying to think of something to blog about and then doing it and then getting zero dollars for it and 40 people to look at it. It’s neat.

I have a lot of experience in blogging for nothing. Since 2002. Here is my “how to” for making sure you never get paid for blogging. Especially blogging about Fresno.

  • Never guest blog. That blog about puppy enthusiast culture doesn’t need your traffic and you don’t need theirs.
  • Don’t communicate with people. Never engage with humans. Especially influential bloggers or readers. This may cause them to notice you and hire you for things and subscribe to your blog.
  • If people compliment you, ignore them. If they like your stuff, they likely suck and their opinion is stupid.
  • Don’t do sponsored posts. If someone offers you money to write about their product, tell them “No I’m too punk rock for that.”
  • Don’t ask for help. Never ever ask people “Could you share my blog with all your cool friends? Thanks.” This could drive traffic to your blog and maybe prompt people to hire you for something.
  • Never take yourself seriously. Don’t convince yourself that you’re good at blogging. Just keep telling yourself it’s impossible to make ANY sort of living doing something that’s totally cool and rad.

There. You have been let into the world of not making money blogging. I’ve been following this advice for years and I have no money in the bank from blogging to show for it.

Keep this information to yourself for it is highly valuable. Next time I’ll conduct a seminar on “How To Not Make Money Podcasting” – it’s pretty much the same course.

*In case you noticed this is an odd post for The Fresnan, I’m taking part in a seven-day “blogging challenge”. One writing prompt a day for seven days straight. This one is day 5: write a “how to” post.

Previous posts:

This Popolo’s Pizza problem needs to get sorted out, Fresno

popolo's pizza front

UPDATE: Consider this sorted out; statement from Popolo’s:

We’re excited to announce, that Popolo’s Pizza & More! will be relocating to 7835 N. Palm Ave. #106, off of Palm & Nees in Fresno!

As saddened as we are leaving our Blackstone & Herndon location that we have occupied for almost 31 years, we feel that the matters we’ve been faced with these last couple of months, has forced us as a family to make this decision.

Our new location will have a large banquet room, patio, arcade and a beer & wine bar. With relocating to Park Place, we will be able to keep our existing delivery area & expand it, and also still be close to our previous location where our customers who live or/and work close to the area or travel from across town can find us a short drive up the street.

We want to say “THANK YOU!” to all of our amazing family, friends and customers for all of your support & patience during this difficult time. We will keep everyone updated as much as possible for all of the new & exciting things to come!

Thank you,
The Greene Family!
Popolo’s Pizza & More!
New location coming June 2016!!!!!!!!!!

[ORIGINAL POST]:
You are not going to take this lying down in your soft, sinking booth, are you, Fresnans? Popolo’s Pizza is temporarily closed. My breadstick craving gizzard is weeping. No salad bar. No pizza. No tube televisions to watch. No booth dividers to remove. Checking the taps in the waiting area is pointless. POINTLESS! *drops to knees* WHY, GOD, WHY!?!

It apparently has something to do with the building’s foundation. The floor of Popolo’s currently looks like this:

Popolo's Pizza floor

Did you see that!? The gap between the floor and earth? What is there like a hidden creek running beneath Pop’s? There is not supposed to be a crawl space in that building. So yeah, I can see why it might not be wise to be open with that lurking underneath.

Luckily they don’t own the building so it’s not on them to fix it. But they are not making any money right now and I’m am sitting around waiting to give them mine in exchange for a Van Ness Extension (hold the peppers).

This. This is serious guys. Oh these sad lonely booths:

empty popolo's pizza booth

I would look damn good sitting in one of them. Proudly making a plate of potato skins disappear and ordering another Tioga Sequoia XPA #DrinkLocalBro.

So what’s the update on the place? Let’s get this figured out, dammit! Well I got this from Popolo’s Pizza themselves:
Continue reading “This Popolo’s Pizza problem needs to get sorted out, Fresno”

Fulton Street? Dude. So Not Impressed.

Okay. So yeah, I know I’ve been away for a while, not blogging about Fresno and stuff. And yes, this Fulton Mall becoming Fulton Street is the big cool thing in Fresno right now. And I am sorry to write such a negative post, right off the bat.

But I am not feeling Fulton Street:

Fulton Street Fresno
The “new look” of Fulton Street

I know the project was short two million but I think they could have done better than that.

Sure it’s nice fresh asphalt. Fresh new asphalt is super pleasing. I can smell this new Fulton Street and be transported back to the 1950s. I can almost see Bob Falfa’s 55 Chevy looking for somebody to race.

And, okay, the art and the fountains all seem to still be in place, so that’s cool. But gosh, I was expecting a little more.

While I’m here, would it really cost that much to at least clean up the construction mess? I was totally stoked to go cruising down Fulton Street like my grandpa and stuff but there’s all the things in the way:

fulton street cleanup

HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DRIVE THROUGH THIS, SWEAR BEAR?! PICK UP THE SHIZZ! Maybe get Mayor Swear’s church group out there to clean it up or something?

Geez. I came back for this?

The End Of A Fresno Nerd Era

Hi Fresnans. Welcome to the last official post on The Fresnan.

We…alright, it’s time to drop the “we” bullshit. I will no longer write new posts on The Fresnan. A little local blog journey, that never felt like it got out of beta mode, has come to an end.

[Actually this little Fresno blog is back, but let’s see where this goes…]

I feel douchey doing a closing post but I always hate it when things I like (blogs, TV and radio shows, whatever) just end without a goodbye or a series finale. So this is for that little group of readers that happen to have liked this blog through the years.

WHY IS IT ENDING?
There are several reasons I feel it’s time to stop The Fresnan. The biggest reason is I’ve blogged myself into a corner, so to speak.

The main content for the blog has evolved, over time, into posts about the music scene. Mostly posts about what show is happening that particular night. This requires me to be writing on a near nightly basis (Friday and Saturday usually being an exception). That kind of blogging schedule is no longer sustainable for me. With work and family, the only time I have to write is late at night. I simply can’t keep up with it any more.

Now maybe changing the format back to the way The Fresnan was in the begining (more posts about general Fresno culture and media) would free up some nights here and there. Problem solved, right? Not really. I seemed to have lost the ability, or energy, or drive, to write about that stuff. Just lost it.

Facebook and Twitter have robbed a lot of that spark blogging once had as well. And that’s a factor. But really that’s a cop-out. Good blog content can still trump social media, I just can’t come up with enough good content to be relevant anymore.

I’ve always wanted to write more things like profiles of Fresno bands and bands that were coming to town. More journalistic style local content of stories that don’t ever reach the media. But lack of skill and time always prevented me from that.

STATS
To those that don’t know, asking a blogger about their exact stats is kind of frowned upon. It is sorta of an un-written rule amongst bloggers.

But since we’re done, I’ll tell you that there are currently 152 subscribers to The Fresnan and the blog averages 156 unique views a day.

I’ve never actually turned a profit doing this. There have been a couple years when links or banner ads have paid for the site, but I have never earned a dollar in my pocket.

The biggest post ever on the Fresnan was when I (in a tounge-in-cheek way) said that we should open up River Park to traffic. It was an attempt to make the argument for opening up the Fulton Mall to traffic, look silly. It got about 750 hits in 12 hours. One of the few things that went locally viral on this blog.

BLOGGER RESPECT
Over the years many blogs have come and gone. I’m not proud to admit it but, I always enjoy it when new blogs come out strong then fade out just as quickly.

I know what it’s like, you get that early little bit of success and recognition, think you’re hot shit, then realize it takes a lot of grinding, day after day, to keep a blog relevant. Then you give up. I guess that’s what I’m doing now, I just grinded it out a lot longer than most.

Much respect should be given to local bloggers Mike Oz, Joshua Tehee and Heather McLane. Through the years they (and some others) have motivated me to be a better blogger. Not so sure the “better” part worked, but they motivated me. They’ve been doing it for as long as me and GET what blogging is. It’s not an article, it’s not a column, it is its own thing. Glad to know they are still out there fighting the good fight.

Bryan Harley needs to be recognised too. He did The Fresnan logo for free and was also part of the Dumb Drum blog that was a motivator as well. Old timer bloggers like Ed Stewart also pushed me. Incredible people and commentors, Blake Jones and Dale Stewart, I really have to stop and say thanks to as well.

In the early years, the biggest motivator and influence for local blogging, for me and for most everybody else, was Jarah Euston and Fresno Famous. This was the beginning of blogging for Fresno and I can still remember her writing a “how to blog” post that I used to teach myself how to actually do this.

BANDGEEK
If there will be a gap left by The Fresnan not posting anymore it’s the end of the Friday “Bandgeek” posts. This one I feel the most guilty about abandoning. It was personally rewarding but took two to four hours to write every Thursday night. It was tough. I remember some times too when I would lose the post (delete it accidentally or have it freeze up and go away) after writing for two or three hours straight, then have to do it all over again.

If you want sources to find out what’s happening in music on the weekends, make sure to check:

There’s more but that will get you started. By the way: SUPPORT FRESNO’S MUSIC SCENE! There is a lot of talent around here, especially for a small city, get out there and see it.

OTHER PROJECTS
Sorry but I will not be off the indie media radar totally. I still love doing the long runing podcast I’m a part of: Dorktown. I will be recording shows like always and posting Dorktown and podcasting related material on the blog.

This is easier for me to do because it can be done when time allows rather than having to make time for it on a nightly basis. Plus, I get to podcast with two of my best friends in the world (Producer Becky and “Bells”) so it’s easy to motivate myself to do it.

I also plan to still use my spot on Fresno Famous (I use the handle “Wiffle”) to post stuff when inspired to and have re-booted Flowing With Famous podcast with Josh Tehee. Additionally I will keep the Fresnan Twitter account active (ironically) by RT-ing and linking to relevant Fresno stuff.

I will keep The Fresnan going in ‘archive mode’ for a while too and try to keep the links updated.

So please support that stuff and Dorktown Podcast if you’re a supporter of The Fresnan. Support for Dorktown especially would mean a lot! I hope that not posting on this blog will force more creative content on Dorktown. Time will tell.

FRESNAN OUT
So thank you so much for reading this. Fresno is a good city that has potential to be amazing and that’s what I love about it. Support things like Creative Fresno and anything and everything creative in Fresno.

Thank you thank you, thank you.

-Mikey “The Fresnan”