Category: Beer

The Beer That Should Be Served In Fresno Movie Theaters

The Fresnan 4 Comments
tioga-taps The Beer That Should Be Served In Fresno Movie Theaters
Tioga taps via WhoseCraft.com

So I hear that beer is coming to some Fresno area theaters. Yeah I know, Tower Theatre has had it all along during festivals and monthly films, but it’s not your everyday theater. This is different.

This is megaplex beer. A beer you can have while watching a Marvel, DC or Star Wars movie. That sounds pretty damn rad to me.

If things go as planned, Fresno’s Manchester and Clovis’s Sierra Vista, will be serving beer (and wine too but, whatev) starting in August or September.

Since I am part of a craft beer show, I feel a beer obligation, a ‘beerglation’ if you will, to help out with the tap-list. I assume they will have draft beer served in plastic cups of some sort.

Here is what I think the tap list should be and I’m choosing ALL LOCAL, baby! Because #drinklocal. I am going to guess and say there will be ten taps, so I picked ten.

This is not MY dream list, but the most accessable list matching with the best local beer.

REGAL MANCHESTER 16 CENTER TAP LIST
  • 99 Golden Ale – Tioga Sequoia Brewing. This is the kind of beer every beer drinker can enjoy on one level or another. The most universal you can put on tap. It’s a BEER.
  • Bog Man Brown – House Of Pendragon Brewing. Browns don’t get enough attention, which is odd since most people are OK with them. There needs to be one on tap.
  • Hard Root Beer – Riley’s Brewing. If you like your sodas hard, this one is that, plus it’s super tasty.
  • Mt. Whitney Extra Pale Ale – Tioga Sequoia. Best pale in town (if you like them on the hoppy side) and won’t get ya to messed up – aka: you can drink more.
  • Pacific Porter – Pine & Palm Brewing. Fresno’s newest brewer and showing a lot of potential. This one is getting good buzz too.
  • Tenaya Red– Southgate Brewing. Everything is super nice from these guys, this red is no exception.
  • Lancelot IPA – House Of Pendragon Brewing. At times it is the best IPA in the Valley, hands down.
  • Blonde Bomber – Tactical Ops Brewing. Everybody loves blondes, yeah?
  • Hobo Pilsner – Dust Bowl Brewing. Excellent pilsner and it’s another universal beer that would sell well.
  • Slauncher Imperial IPA – Kaweah Brewing. You gotta have at least one beer that’s going to kick ya hard… plus I have yet (I hear it’s pretty damn tasty) to try it and I just want to have it available in town somewhere.

Is this realistic? No. It’s probably going to be Bud Light and Shock Top or something with similar crapness. But a dude can hope.

LETS NOT EFF THIS UP, GUYS

Hopefully, no matter what beer it is, this brings Fresno one step closer to getting one of those kick-ass Alamo Drafthouses:

Pretty rad. They do have about 22 of those Alamo places spread out through the Southwest and one in SF, so it’s a possibility for Fresno.

We must mind our manners though and show people, like Alamo Drafthouse, that we deserve good beer in our movie theaters. Do you think we can do that, kids?

Let me know what beer you would want to have “on” in a movie theater or if you think Fresno can handle beer & wine at the movies! Leave a comment or Tweet me – @thefresnan.

(photo cred: WhoseCraft.com)

How To Deal With Self Service Beer At Me-N-Ed’s Pizza

The Fresnan 6 Comments

self-service-taps How To Deal With Self Service Beer At Me-N-Ed's Pizza

In case you haven’t noticed, the Bullard and West Me-N-Ed’s Pizza has been remodeled and added something Fresno has never seen: Self Service Beer Taps.

Run for the bluffs, post T-Ball pizza meetup, this may be too crazy for the kids!

SELF SERVING BREAKDOWN

Here is how it works. You order your food like always, but you tell them you are drinking like an adult. They ID you and start a tab. Then give you a magic wristband to wear.

You pick out a glass, search for the right beer (with pizza, I recommend an IPA, pale or Tioga’s Ed’s Red, but that’s just me), place your wristband against a certain spot on the tap, the tap gets ‘green lit’ and you can start pouring.

Wow. “Exciting” footage [sarc].

In addition to the beer taps, the place got cleaned up and is sporting a lot of wood.

remodled-me-n-eds How To Deal With Self Service Beer At Me-N-Ed's Pizza

Gone are the video games that the location had. So you might encounter a pissed off child at first. But give them a taste of your beer and it might shut them up.

(Disclaimer: thefresnan.com does not endorse childhood drinking in any way but just needed a mildly humorous line to place in the blog post).

HOW DRUNK CAN I GET?

You can get up to 32 ounces (two pints) but you can ask for more if they can see that you can take on additional juice. It electroniclly tracks how many ounces you’ve poured yourself – Big Brother is monitoring how much you drink, man!

There are 29 taps plus a cider or two and a couple of handles with something called “wine”. I don’t know what that is but I hear it contains alcohol so I guess it’s cool.

A REVIEW

This kind of system feels like a trendy thing, but I’m sure more will be popping up. And this one isn’t going away anytime soon.

It’s still pretty busy, as all new Fresno things are at first. But it’s managable. And if you don’t feel like pizza, you can just show up for the beer. They even have a seperate counter now to handle just the beer.

Not having to wait to get a bartender’s attention is a nice change. Although I can see it getting annoying having to get up everytime you want more beer. 

I wouldn’t want every bar having this system. But it’s fun, glad it is in Fresno, I’ll be back – even if Big Brother is watching how many Luponic Distortions I can put down.

Southern California Is Too Hot? This Pleases Me.

The Fresnan 3 Comments
Tioga-Sequoia-pool-1024x768 Southern California Is Too Hot? This Pleases Me.
Fresno Life

Yes I am dangerously close to posting about weather too much. But dammit I need to again. Because something awesome has been happening as a bi-product of the current heat wave…

People in L.A. and San Diego are losing their shit.

Yeah, those same assholios who only think about Fresno to mock it for being SO HOT. Those same douches are filling their social feeds with pictures of their dashboard thermometers and even their Barbecues:
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How To Be OK With The Fresno Heat

The Fresnan 1 Comment
fresno-paletas-1024x629 How To Be OK With The Fresno Heat
Le Reina Paletas Photo stolen from VidaEnElvalle.com

You’re not a Fresnan until you’ve suffered through enjoyed a Summer in Fresno and the time has begun to ready yourself for the Fresno Sun.

We’ve gotten through our first heatwave and I’m officially adjusted to. It just takes one solid three day run of upper 90s plus and I’m locked in until the end of September.

“But how can I obtain this ability to get through a Fresno Summer as an asshat such as yourself, Fresnan?” Well, here are my suggestions on how to deal with it and help make it better.

  • Crank your air. Sure, this is a no duh, but good air conditioning is pretty big. If you’re lucky enough to have a good solar system, then crank the crap out of that AC unit, bro, you have won Fresno.
  • Just don’t go outside from 2 to 6. Who wants to be outside from 2 to 6:00 anyway? It’s not like there is anything going on. That is unless you have access to a pool. If you have access to a pool, 2 to 6 can be rather awesome.
  • Paletas. These help a great deal. I am especially found of the ones from La Reina De Michoacana (even though I can’t ever pronounce the name of the shop). Bring cash and be ready to take home a dozen, at least.
  • Beer and water. Fresno has plenty of good beer options now (could always use more though) and we still have… SOME water. Drink both of these things (yep at the same time, hydrate) and the heat goes away. Drink enough beer and everything goes away (except your gut).
  • Patios at night. The Fresno Summer creates a perfect atmosphere for hanging outside at night. Add the previous mentioned swimming pool and beer to that mix, and you’ve got one very magical Fresno evening.
  • Get geeky about temperatures changes. This is a personal nerdy one. Follow, from day-to-day, what time temps change and see if you can tell the difference in a two degree temperature drop or rise the next day. You know when people say “Oh it doesn’t matter once it’s past 100 degrees.” Actually it does. And I’m nerdy and trained enough to tell. I’m trying to develop a skill, don’t laugh, it can be done and soon you WILL have the skill too.
  • Get with some trees. Drive up into the mountains for part of the day. Sure, you can do the same with the beach or The Bay. But it’s a lot easier to just run up the hill and maybe jump into Bass Lake, Shaver or Lewis Creek or push on into Yosemite. Have you had a beer and a lunch at South Gate yet? Do it.
  • The SJ River. Oh yeah, we have a river too. Pretty nice one that is officially in Fresno and stuff. There’s just not enough good spots to access and enjoy it. But wait, cue the San Joaquin River Parkway folks because they have all the spots a Fresnan can use to get in that river thingy that we forget is there.

There you go. It’s a start. Grab a beer and take in that 103 degree day. If it drops to 101 tomorrow you’ll be trained to enjoy it.

 

 

Who The Hell Were All Those Damn People At Fresyes Fest?

The Fresnan 1 Comment

Like many of you, I was at Fresyes Fest at Tigoa Sequoia on Saturday. But I came really close to not being there. You saw that line waiting to get in, right? Yeah I saw it too. Forget that noise.

But wait. I gotta blog about something. I guess I will go stand in line and all that crap.

Plus I really like good beer. And it was THE event in Fresno this past weekend.

No it wasn’t the last two nights at Audie’s (although it was pretty epic, I hear). And it wasn’t even Easter. It was Fresyes Fest. Sorry, Jesus, it’s true.

So the main thing I noticed while in there? It wasn’t the food trucks taking up Fulton Street. Or the fine beer TS pours. Or the pro stage. It wasn’t even Swear Bear emptying cups:

File-Mar-28-11-15-10-PM Who The Hell Were All Those Damn People At Fresyes Fest?
Photo by Craig Kohlruss (@ck_foto)
It was all the weird, unfamiliar people. Where did all these random Valley folks come from and who are they!?

Seriously though: Who the fuck were they?!  And I use fuck in the sweetest way. Like, when a friend tells you their Great Uncle died last week. “Fuck. I’m sorry man.” That’s how I’m using it. Fuck can still be sweet and pack a punch. It’s versatile like that.

If you looked real close Saturday, you would have seen a few OG bloggers huddled in a shaded corner wondering where the time went. And yes, also still wondering who the fuck these people are.

File-Mar-28-10-57-01-PM-1024x1024 Who The Hell Were All Those Damn People At Fresyes Fest?
FresYes Fest crowd at Tioga’s Beer Garden
Old Man Fresno rant!: “Back in my day, the only festival we had was the Fig Gig and that’s the way we liked it! No fancy hipster food trucks. No cute picnic tables inside a nice big Beer Garden. Our “beer garden” was a 50×50 foot taped-off piece of blacktop behind the Applebee’s, and that’s the way we liked it and we were happy to get it!”

That’s right, children. Fig Gig. It… it was something to go to. Technically. And we didn’t have to worry about lines or choices of beer. Sanger Light Bud Light and Bud Ice anyone?

Now you have FresYes Fest. And Grizzly Fest and Whatever Is Happening This Weekend Fest. I think Fresno is doing pretty damn good in the festival department now. Even if I don’t know WHO THE FUCK anybody is at these things.

You don’t know how good you have it, you Fresno Millennials. You have a downtown to be pumped about and a thriving festival scene. There used to be just Bud Light and caution tape.