Breaking: Fresno Man Almost Remembers To Bring Bags With Him Into Save Mart


I have yet to remember to bring shopping bags in with me when I go grocery shopping. Not once.
Oh I have them in my truck. And I go to a grocery store at least once a week. So I have had MANY chances to remember since the plastic bag ban – a ban I am in favor of, for what it’s worth.

Usual stores I shop at (for no particular reason):

  • Save Mart on Herndon & Milburn.
  • Save Mart on Bullard & West.
  • Save Mart on Ashlan & West.
  • Whole Foods.
  • The Market.

Anyway, the other day I actually remembered while I was turning to park. “Bring in your bags” my brain said. So here it is. I have finally remembered. It took three months but I have done it.

Nope.

The 20 or so seconds between remembering and shutting off my vehicle was enough time for me to forget AGAIN.

One day. One day I will remember. Until then I get to act like a rich badass and buy all the paper bags!

Save Mart Checker: “How many bags should I charge you for sir?”
Me: “Four! No, wait, FIVE! That’s right, I’m just too damn important to bring in my own bags.”

Related: How I feel when I forget my bags in Whole Foods:

Top Fresno Street Names


Yep. This is a real post. The best Fresno street names according to me. Oh, and you will not find “Palmdon” on this list because there is no way that can be a legal name.

So. Take a cool name and add a little city importance, you get this:

  • Van Ness Extension. Like hell if we’re going to think up a new name. Let’s just slap “extension” on it, even though it’s over a mile away.
  • West. Because it actually goes North & South.
  • Ivy League School Series. Yale. Harvard and the other ones and stuff.
  • Bullard. When you drive through Fresno State’s fields you can go all fast and there is the slight danger of a tractor crossing your path.
  • Palm. Premier bike lanes in the city – suck it, Brandau.
  • Shaw. It sounds like something Wayne or Garth says, in place of “AS if!” “ShaWW right.”

via GIPHY

  • Fulton. Part of the lazy “just use San Fransico street names” series.
  • Blackstone. It has all the things; even HOOKERS! Wait. Blackstone still has hookers, right?
  • Fresno. Duh.
  • Friant. It’s also a dam. It’s dangerous. It totally flooded by Woodward Park the other day.
  • Weldon. Fun to say. Wel Don. Weldon. Weldadadon.
  • Fruit. Because fruit is what makes the cash around these parts and I have a totally “legally purchased” Fruit sign on my work bench.

Not making the list is Ashlan, Tuolumne and McKinley, because they are hard to spell.

I Found Stuff On Fresno Facebook For You: Downtown Fresno Edition

As we all watch the construction, there has been lots of debating that Fulton Street Mall is not going to be large enough for two cars to travel down it, once they’re done asphalting.

DEBATE OVER! … sorta.

Photo by Aaron Blair

As you can see, the asphalt will be where your car goes. Cement is where your car will pay a meter to park. And yes, there is technically enough room. But barely.

Like, if you look at hot fireman (or woman) walking alongside your car and don’t pay attention to the road for a second BLAMMO!: Fulton Street Fender Bender. BTW, Fulton Street Fender Bender is a really hot local pop-punk band, look for them in 2017.

While we wonder around Fulton, here is a cool new cafe to check out.

This Happens With Great FREQUENCY #dadhumor

K-Jewel like, came back, or moved to 105.5 or something and that “Rewind” station got canceled or moved or, I dunno. Podcasting is the new radio so I can’t keep up with these dealings in frequency. I did see that the station owners got a new “One Put” sign. #branding

Photo by Daniel Draper

Since we’re downtown picturing, John Rupe posted a nice shot of Downtown just before dawn:

Grizzly Fest tickets are now a thing you can buy. The whole lineup is not announced yet and it already feels like it’s going to be the biggest Central California music festival of the year. Go Chuk!

Something Not To Forget

And finally, here [arthouse benefit] is something that looks cool and good that I will totally forget about once the day comes and say “Oh shit, that was tonight wasn’t it?! Oh well.”

There is a GoFundme page happening NOW that you can take part in. Read up on the thing that happened and maybe donate while you check out this video:

This Is Not A Local Music Blog

I miss Audie’s Olympic. Barely seen a band in Fresno since the place begrudgingly closed. I blame Audie’s closing on my lack of seeing local bands play lately, but that is a copout. Still, I miss it.

Yes. Strummer’s is there and still scheduling bands. So is Fulton 55. Frank’s Place does a thing or two, I think. Cool, cool.

There are new local venue things too. Tioga Sequoia Beer Garden has a lot of music. Goldstein’s has music. These are places that were not much of a factor musically when Audie’s was still operating.

And none of these places match up to the true rock club vibe of Audie’s. Nor can they regularly bring to town the kind of shows that Audie’s brought in. Not the touring, fresh, rock bands or mid-level local kind of shows anyway.

What the Fresno Grizzlies are to a professional baseball player, trying to get into the major league’s, Audie’s was to rising touring or local bands.

And, you could just hang out in Audie’s – as long as the style of music was not too grading to you, that is. Just hang and have a beer, sit on a stool, occasionally stop and look to the stage to enjoy a nice set. Didn’t even need to be there with anybody.

NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH A LOCAL MUSIC BLOG

I hesitate to write this post because it personally concerns me. I don’t want to do what I did before and turn the Fresnan into a music blog that is not supposed to be a music blog.

That is what it was when I previously put this blog on ice. Just posts about local shows. Which is fine if you brand yourself a music blog. The Fresnan was not branded as a music blog. I got lazy and complacent.

If you want a local music blog, check out Spanspek or read Joshua Tehee stuff. Do it.

SPEAKING OF LOCAL MUSIC

So Josh Tehee and I just posted a new Flowing With Famous podcast and in it we picked out favorite Fresno music acts of 2016. My pick was The Light Thieves:

Josh picked two. Beastmaker

…and Sagey. Now Sagey was a new one to me. Josh talked about how these guys have the local buzz right now and I think I get why:

I will keep listening to what Josh has to say about the Fresno music scene because he will find out first when (or maybe if) Audie’s opens again as a new music club.

I might finally be motivated to get back into the local music scene. Maybe see a Sagey show. Sit on a stool.

*I am finally starting up a newsletter. It will augment what you see on The Fresnan with a bent toward local life in general. Sign up below!: