I Did Not Know This: Fresno Has AirBnBs.


I found myself asking…myself the other day “Does Fresno have Airbnbs?” Well of course they do, silly. But, you see, I’ve never stayed in one. Don’t really know what it’s about outside of the obvious: people renting out their house or a room in their house to random people for a couple nights.

Sure, tourist areas have them. SF has them because they can charge a shit-ton of money. But Fresno? Hey, why the hell not!? We are close to all the cool National Parks like the National Park Formally Named Yosemite. Plus we have viral burritos.

Some Interesting Fresno Airbnbs

This one is called a “Temptation in the Tower“: A “temptation” in the Tower, eh? Sounds like my horizons might be broadened if I stay there. And for only $37 a night? That’s a bargain.

Also, I saw there is one for $865 a night. What is that all about? Sadly it dropped off and I can’t find it now. Damn curious to know where I could stay in Fresno that would cost me $865. A night at Bubba’s house where you get to play Chief Gillespie and Mayor Autry plays, well, Bubba? Worth it.

Christmas Tree Lane’s first walk night is Saturday night. You might want to look into this one. Good place to party from.

Jordan’s Loft (pictured at the top of this post) is in the old Security Bank Building. Nice views of Fulton Mall Street construction. Might be kinda cool to stay in for a couple nights if you’re looking to try out loft living.

One local Airbnb I think I’ll pass on: the “spacious” couch in CLOVIS with the table cloth for a blanket. No matter how cheap or nice the renter is, there is no damn way I am paying to sleep on a couch in Clovis…in fact, you should pay ME to sleep on your Clovis couch!

Truth: I Probably Will Never Stay In One

Although it feels kinda safer testing the Airbnb waters in your hometown, I can’t see me doing this.

For one, I definitely don’t want to have to talk to the owner or hang out with them in the house. Having to manage some small talk or run into them while trying to find the bathroom in my Star Wars underwear. Sounds too damn weird.

But hey, maybe if I’m outta cash and out of town, I could stay in an Airbnb someday. But put a room up in my house? Hell na. Hell. NO! I don’t want one of these nightmares:

A dude walking around your living room, wearing a ponytail? Fuuuuuuck that man. Scary.

Fresno Stuff To Know At The Thanksgiving Table

Fulton Mall Street by Ronnie Samuelian
Fulton Mall Street by Ronnie Samuelian

WOW, Beth! This is one year you want to stay WAY THE HELL AWAY from talking politics at Thanksgiving. If the table acts like my Facebook feed, things are going to get real uncomfortable, real quick.

Screw all that mess. Talk about Fresno junk this year. It’s universal and sorta kinda doesn’t matter what party you are mostly down with – I am down with whatever party David Lee Roth is at, in case you were wondering.

Here are some Fresno things to bring up at the turkey table that your Uncle may not have been paying attention to. Or maybe for your friend Jason that is back for the Holiday weekend because he moved away because he blamed Fresno for all his stupid little problems but really you know he is just a whiny lazy conceded dick and would not be happy in any town he lived in but WHATEVER now he moved and thinks his life is SOOOO great but we know that it probably isn’t at least that is what we tell ourselves to feel cool when he tells you how great Los Angeles is and how his job really kicks ass and the girls are amazing and it was the best decision of his life.

Damn you, Jason.

THE FULTON MALL IS NOT A THING

You saw the picture at the top of this post, right? The Fulton Mall is gone, GONE I say! And we are inching closer to Fulton Street with parallel parking – Lord help us.

Speaking of Downtown, a new park is set to open in the Culture Arts District/Muraltown/LoftCity/Uptown, complete with cool lighting:

Photo by Daniel Draper
Photo by Daniel Draper
SPORTS

Hey, look! Former Fresno State QB Derek Carr and his smoky version of the Blue Steel look, is on the cover of ESPN the Magazine – that’s something safe to talk about:

derek-carr

Also, Jeff Tedford is the new head coach of the football team and that’s kinda rad. All the while Pat Hill’s FU-Manchu does radio for ESPN 940. And the basketball team might probably be good again – sadly they are not in town this weekend.

POLITICS

Continue reading “Fresno Stuff To Know At The Thanksgiving Table”

Only Fresno Can Make A Steak n Shake Opening Controversial

steaknshake

A little late on this post but… I need to talk about this Steak ‘n Shake that is being built in Fresno on Kings Canyon. Yep, Kings Canyon.

This is a new-to-Fresno burger chain that is out of Normal, Illinois. It has some cult following to it, sorta similar to In & Out and White Castle. It looks like a Johnny Rockets meets Five Guys to me.

I have never eaten or heard about the place before, but I see they got something called the Cheddar Cheesy that I will be all about trying:

cheddar cheesy

The most interesting thing about this place coming to Fresno is not the food. It’s the location. A chain with some buzz around it is being built in Sunnyside area and not on or North of Shaw. About fucking time.

Of course the Internet has issue with the location

Not everyone on Facebook is down with it being at Kings Canyone & Peach. An example:

beth

Well, Beth. That deserves some replies. Don’t you think?

wow-beth

I love the last comment from Rosie, “Wow Beth!”  … Wow Beth. I really like saying that, “WOW, Beth!” I think I will be using that in my everyday life from now on. Whenever somebody does something that’s surprising or controversial or something unexpected happens, I will be saying “Wow, Beth” as a response. I hope you will join me.

Oh but Beth was not alone. There were others. Like, John:

steak-n-shake-facebook

There is a lot more than those but you get the idea.

The Sunnyside Area Deserves Nice Things

Hey, a burger joint in a Wal-Mart Center might not be considered a “nice thing” but it’s still cool.

The Sunnyside area deserves this. They were supposed to get a new “River Park Style” shopping area and that has never happened.

But if you still feel like your Northeast Flowvis area is “underserved”, you can always look into franchising a Steak n’ Shake on Willow & Nees for yourself.

Hopefully, this new Sunnyside burger joint will have Steak ‘n Shake suits like the old ones:

Don’t forget: “Wow, Beth.” This is a thing. It has begun.

Fresno Has The Best Artist Renderings


You know those artist renderings? Like the one above for the Fresno Aquarium – by the way, the aquarium is a thing that will finally happen for Fresno… one day.

Fresno has had some cool renderings over the years. They get you all excited about the potential. My current favorite is this one:

fultonproject

A planned mixed-use project that would be on Fulton, across the street from the Tioga Sequoia Beer Garden – I already need to be hanging out on one of those balconies, drinking a Tioga beer, looking back at Tioga from the balcony, yelling to people in the Tioga Beer Garden “Hey, Tioga! Look at me! On this balcony! With my Tioga! Tioga!”

There is also the remodel of Manchester Center, with some updates on the project. They have been working on getting it started since 2013, as this video demonstrates:

Not all of the renderings come to pass

During Mayor Bubba’s time, I can remember a pretty sweet rendering of the Downtown Lake and Riverwalk proposed. But, alas, I can not find it on the local internets. I think that was the same timeline of Bass Pro sniffing around too.

I also remember a render for Running Horse development and country club. Yeah, that only sorta happened. Some guy named Donald Trump came around trying to get the City of Fresno to give him all the things. They wisely did not. I wonder whatever happened to that Trump guy…

We talked a little bit about Fresno renderings on Flowing With Famous this month. Here is a clip of that:

If you have a historically awesome Fresno rendering your memory deems worth mentioning, leave it in the comments.

Indiana Jones and the Lost Mancave Of Fresno

indiana-jones-and-the-lost-mancave-of-fresno
Indiana Jones Mancave in Fresno, CA

 

Just when I started getting over never being invited to Fresno’s Underground Supper Club, I have found a new sorta secret Fresno space nobody has invited me to. It’s called: Temple Of Vroom.

Yes. A private, Indiana Jones themed, event space exists within’ the city of Fresno. And here I am without a white tux.

temple-of-doom-indiana-tux

This place, built by local company Monster City Studios, is amazing. It’s billed as the World’s Biggest Mancave. Full bar, Indiana Jones pinball games, actual movie set pieces, fortune and glory.

So, it is set up like a super rad event space but the owner doesn’t seem to rent it out to make money. He just opens the doors to family, friends and a select few.

I need to be one of those select few.

You see, I am a life-long Indiana Jones nerd. I even have a podcast about Harrison Ford to prove it. So, I can NOT be living in the same town as the ultimate Indy themed bar, and never go in it!

I. Just. CAN’T!

So I need some help here.

I gotta get into this place. Fresno acts like a small town a lot of the time. Everybody seems to know each other. Tell me you know the person that owns this Temple Of Fresno. Then tell them to get in touch with me.

I need somebody local to talk Indiana Jones 5 script theories with and gush over trailers for an animated Indiana Jones show. I feel like the person that owns this space could do that with me.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I am off to write some Indiana Jones fan-fiction that has Dr. Jones exploring the Underground Gardens. He then stumbles onto an ancient artifact, sealed in hardpan, and he’s gotta battle the evil Clovisians to keep it away from Hitler.

Video of the Temple of Vroom:

*Photo by Craig Kohlruss.