The Bay Has Way More Goats Than Fresno

That is a map of every goat in the country. How they were able to count them, you’d have to ask the Wonk Blog.

What is most interesting to me is the amount of goats the Bay Area has. Like, WAY more than Fresno and the Valley does.

And I don’t think it’s a hipster “goats are a natural lawnmower that cuts back on greenhouse gases” kind of thing. San Francisco just likes goats.

Whatcha all doing over there? …With the goats. Mark this as a day San Fransisco is more hick than Fresno.

Don’t Be Lame, Whole Foods Fig Garden, Fresno Needs This

  
The time has come, Whole Foods Fresno. Turn your dumb little cooking demo room into a craft beer bar. 

You know the little area, tucked into the corner of the bread department. The one you rarely use for anything – except for what you are using it as now: a backroom for your bread department:

  

This needs to have beer taps in it, not bread racks.

You may think that a craft beer bar inside a grocery store is not a thing. You would be wrong. It is a thing. In fact, Whole Foods leads the way in grocery store beer bars. They have several.

In fact, the Houston one even has a brewery! And the one down in Del Mar (SD) has really terrible cover bands playing:

Just imagine that inside Fresno’s Whole Foods – only with the Light Thieves playing.

Hybrid drinking holes

This Whole Foods craft beer bar need opens things up to another stellar idea.

On The Perfect Pour we somewhat jokingly floated the idea of having a beer bar inside a hardware store and also how there are not enough sandwich shops with beer.

This is a good start. I wouldn’t mind having a beer with my Gino’s sub. But what other Fresno places could use some beer?

Since a CSU rule prevents Bulldog Stadium from selling beer, that one stays off the list. Also, hair salons recently got the ok to serve alcohol [legally], so that’s taken care of. 

With that, here are some ideas to spice up some local places with a beer bar:

 Jury Duty. Yeah you might get more people to actually show up if there was the promise of one free beer (or wine) per day. Mmmmm, Goverment beerrrr.

Pep Boys. Just using Pep Boys as a place holder, it could be any mechanic in town. I would actually get my oil changed at the mileage Jiffy Lube suggested if I knew I could have a hoppy pale while waiting.

Costco. It would be cheap, as long as you bought two gallons at a time. … on second thought: fuck this. I don’t want to go into Costco any more than I have to.

So lets get that beer bar going, Whole Foods Fresno! Hurry, before Pottery Barn beats you to it. 

If you have a suggestion for a place in Fresno that could use a beer & wine bar, leave it in the comments!

The Car That Definitively Represents Fresno


For Portland it’s the Subaru Outback. For Los Angeles it’s maybe a Mercedes. For San Diego… a Volkswagen. For SF it’s a city bus because where the hell would you park a vehicle anyway?

All fine and good. But what I want to know is, what is the vehicle that most represents Fresno?:

Lowered Honda Civic: Hey. Ya got a Civic. What the hell else is there to do but lower it?

Raised Truck/Oversized Truck: Just pick any make. Ford. Chevy. Dodge. GMC. We got them and we raise them. You know, just in case a thousand-year-flood happens, we are high enough to drive through it. We also have to drive unnecessarily large F150s and take five minutes trying to park it in a ‘compact’ spot. Bonus points if you own a dually but have nothing to tow.

Muscle Car: Yes, Mustangs! I love them and formerly had one. There are plenty of Camaros, Firebirds and Corvettes too. Bullard, for some reason, seems to be the Fresno street to rev these down.


Large SUV: NW Soccer Mom having one? OK, I get it. You’re hauling equipment and children around all the damn time – sometimes kids that are not even yours. Makes sense. Really don’t understand the need for them otherwise. And just like ‘oversized truck guy’, we like to fit them into parking stalls they don’t belong in.

Toyota Corolla: Not a sexy choice but, DAMMIT, Fresno is not sexy. You can be sexy in Fresno, but Fresno is not sexy. Fresno is show up to work on time. Fresno is get me from Point A to B in 10 minutes. Nothing says that like a Corolla.


So yeah. That’s my pick. A Corolla. Fresno is the Toyota Corrola of California. And that is fine. I am good with that. Nothing wrong with that. The word “Corolla” is Latin for “small crown” and that fits us.

Somebody has to be the reliable workhorse of California and be willing to wear a smaller crown. That is a Corolla. That IS Fresno.

What Will Be The First Chain on Fulton Mall-Street?

I don’t really want any chain/corporate places on the Fulton Mall Fulton Street. But it’s coming. You damn well know it. Hell, to some, it’s kinda the point of the whole thing.

And what with Fulton Street asphalting as quick as it can…

…it’s time to talk about this.

There are those that would say, having a Starbucks and a Chipotle open on Fulton Street will signal it is back. To others, the thought makes the stomach turn.

But really, will the first be a Starbucks? Chipotle? Habit? Pieology? Maybe an Apple Store (that actually would be kinda rad):

marcblakeapplestore

Maybe, David Pismos Westwood Yosemite Ranch Tahoe Joe Fansler, could prove he is the Fresno Restaurant Master and open a place on Fulton.

Could Fulton (no CVS doesn’t count) stay all local and no chains? I’m interested in finding out.

(Apple Store graphic by Marc Blake)